Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

What is emotional intelligence? Why it is important to understand emotional intelligence in today’s society? People can have a wide range of emotions from being happy, confused, angry, sad, etc. As individuals’, it’s important to understand our own emotions as well as those around us at home, work, and in social environments. If we are able to comprehend and control our emotions, it makes it easier for us to see others’ perceptions of ourselves.

The theory of emotional intelligence was first introduced in 1990 by John Mayer and Peter Salovey. They developed various ways to measure emotional intelligence abilities, if it improved with age, and if emotional intelligence abilities formed a unified intelligence (Mayer, 2009). Mayer and Salovey found that if all criteria were met, than it was said to be a true intelligence. As described by Mayer (2009), emotional intelligence can be defined as one’s capability to reason about emotions and emotional information, and of emotions to enhance thought. Those with high emotional intelligence can accurately perceive emotions in other’s faces. They also know how to use specific emotional times within

This view is countered by Ioannidou and Konstantikaki (2008, p. 121), who suggest that emotional intelligence is something that can be taught. With the acceptance of this idea and with the use of the previously defined model of emotional intelligence, we can see how

Children are very complex, unique and varied individuals whose genetics, connections and backgrounds all perform significant roles in their emotional development (Wilson, 2003). The genetic blueprint a child inherits from its parents may plot a course for development but the environment and the influences within can affect how the child is shaped, how they connect with and are perceived by others and how their emotions are or are not expressed. Wilson (2003) points out emotions as an experience that is linked to cognitive interpretation, context, subjective feeling, physical reaction and behavioural expression. Campos, Campos, and Barrett (1989) suggest emotions are processes of establishing, maintaining, or disrupting the relations between the person and the internal or external environment, when such relations are significant to the individual.

Lewis (2013) explains the ability to control your emotions does not begin until a child nears the age of six (as cited in Berger, 2014, p. 276). The need to maintain control of feelings and emotions remains important throughout adulthood. It would not be normal for a 38-year-old lawyer to throw a temper tantrum in the courtroom because they did not win a case. Not everyone is great at controlling their emotions, but there is always room for improvement (Berger, 2014). A child is not born with this control, nor can one learn it on their own. Morris et al. (2007) discussed the importance of parents, teachers and other adults that may be in a child?s life to instruct and inform children of appropriate ways to manage their feelings for them to learn or develop over time (as cited in Berger, 2014, p. 276). It is the same aspect as manners. A child does not come out of the womb saying ?please? and ?thank you,? but must be taught to use such mannerisms. Eric Erikson explained that children believe they can achieve any goal just as long as they keep trying because their view of their abilities is not yet within reason (Berger, 2014). A child may see a fish breath underwater and believe they too can breathe while swimming

In the Article Sex, lies and conversation, Deborah Tannen asserts that men and women communicate differently because of their different training. One of the many things that can lead to miscommunication is divorce during her argument she provides us the trend of the divorce rate. She also mentions that Men and Women communicate differently, because they have different goals, body Language and how they were raised, and lastly when it comes to communicating women show more character when communicating like eye contact, and the fully attention. The evidence of her case is backed up by several other authors who also support that communication is different between men and women the authors’ point of view and their research that Tannen uses to prove

As children grow up, they learn how to communicate in various ways. One learns when and who to share his or her troubles with, how to bond with fellow classmates, and how to express feelings by using language. Tannen states that “many women bond by talking about troubles, and many men bond by exchanging playful insults and put-downs” (Tannen 215). . Tannen's research in “You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation” shows that the differences between the communication patterns of men and women go beyond social occasions, and appear to be in the basic forms of the opposite sex. “Men use communication to maintain independence, while women talk to maintain intimacy (Morrison 1). Female students often find that males like to hide their feelings and speak undemonstrative outside the classroom

Family styles are also important because the various parenting styles will affect how a child develops, particularly their independence and social skills. Punitive parenting is when parents are overly strict, and so will often enforce tight discipline which can often make a child feel that they have no independence; when children grow up without having any independence they will struggle to come up with their own ideas and lead their own life without constantly being told what to do. Permissive is quite the opposite as children are left to discover the world and all its wonders without suitable boundaries, so it can leave them overwhelmed with all the problems. Passive parents may be under stress so they will pay very little attention to the children, leaving a child unsure how to of how to behave due to a lack of consistent rules, this will likely affect their self-esteem and ability to form relationships. Authoritative parents

Deborah Tannen, in her essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and women to Talk to Each Other?” attempts to explain the conversational barriers between men and women. Tannen talks about how conversation with the opposite sex is “cross- cultural” (404) which helps to make sense of the miscommunications shared between men and women. Tannen writes that, “Boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive norms” (406). For boys, they grow bonds with each other by doing things together. As opposed to the way girls grow bonds with each other, since their bonds are founded on solid conversation and secret-sharing. This is where all of the conversational

Managing human emotions plays a critical role in everyday functioning. After years of lively debate on the significance and validity of its construct, emotional intelligence (EI) has generated a robust body of theories, research studies, and measures (Stough, Saklofske, & Parker). There has been work and many ideas by Jack Mayer, Peter Salovey, David Caruso, Daniel Goleman, and Steve Hein to name a few. All researchers have different interpretations of the term emotional intelligence and different visions of what emotional intelligence can mean for humanity (Hein, 2005). In 1985 Wayne Leon Payne, then a graduate student at an alternative liberal arts college in the USA, wrote a doctoral dissertation which included the term “emotional intelligence” in the title. This seems to be the first academic use of the term “emotional intelligence.” In the next five years no one else seems to have used the term “emotional intelligence” in any academic paper. Then in 1990 the work of two American university professors, John Mayer and Peter Salovey, was published in two academic journal articles. Mayer and Salovey were trying to develop a way of scientifically measuring the difference between people’s ability in the area of emotions. They found that some people were better than others at things like identifying their own feelings, identifying the feelings of others, and solving problems involving emotional issues. Since 1990 these professors

The main advantage Tannen discusses in her Essay “Sex Lies and Conversations: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other”, is that gender communication studies can help prevent divorce by helping both partners recognize and understand the differences in the way both genders communicate. In the article “Sex, Lies and Conversations” Tannen refers to the differences in gender communication as “cross-cultural.” According to Tannen, “Boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive norms” (page 240). Tannen gives examples of the differences of each gender’s interactive norms and conversational patterns to help explain this.

Emotional Intelligence is defined as a ‘type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s emotions, to discriminate among them and to use the information to guide one’s thinking and actions’ (Salovey and Mayer, 1990: 189). According to Goleman (2001), ‘emotional intelligence comprises of 4 key components which are, Self

In the book, “Raising An Emotional Intelligent Child” author John Gottman guide’s parent’s toward raising an intelligent child by teaching them about the awareness of their emotions. Parents are known to be emotional coaches, parents who get involved with their child’s feelings. They accept negative emotions as a fact of life and use emotional moments as opportunities for teaching their kids important life lessons and building closer relationships with them. Emotional intelligence controls impulses, delays gratification, motivate themselves, reading others social cues, coping with life’s ups and downs. Parenting requires intellect, but most importantly empathy. In parent- child interactions, most parents fall into two categories: parents who give their children guidance about the world of emotion and those who do not. There are 3 types of parents who fail to teach emotional intelligence: the dismissing parent, disapproving, and Laissez-Faire. Dismissing parents tend to disregard and ignore children’s negative emotions. Disapproving parents are critical of their children’s displays of negative feelings and may punish them for emotional expression. Lastly, Laissez-Faire parents, accept their children’s emotions and empathize with them, but fail to offer guidance or set limits on their children’s behavior.

Because self-esteem is influenced by so many different things (e.g. society, media, friends, etc…) it is very important that parents and caretakers take the proper steps in helping a child develop a strong sense of who they are (Nuttall, 1991). By the time a child reaches three years of age they have experienced a very wide range of emotions (Cluff, N.D.) Parents, teachers and caregivers will lay the foundation upon which a child emotionally develops (Cluff, N.D.). Positive emotional development is important for children because this will not only determine their ability to develop healthy relationships with their peers but also how to successfully deal with their own emotions (Cluff, N.D.). Many theorists agree that there is a connection between a child’s emotional levels and development; they also

     In the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, the central thesis that he tries to point out is that emotional intelligence may be more important than I.Q. in determining a person’s well being and success in life. At first I didn’t know what Goleman was talking about when he said emotional intelligence, but after reading the book I have to say that I agree completely with Goleman. One reason for my acceptance of Goleman's theory is that academic intelligence has little to do with emotional life. To me, emotions can be just as intelligent as your I.Q. In this essay I hope to provide sufficient evidence to show why I agree with Goleman’s thesis on emotional intelligence.