A boy longs for connection at the same time he feels the need to pull away, and this opens up an emotional divide. This struggle between his need for connection and his desire for autonomy finds different expression as a boy grows. But, regardless of their age, most boys are ill-prepared for the challenges along the road to becoming an emotionally healthy adult. Whatever role biology plays (and that role is by no means clear) in the ways boys are characteristically different from girls in their emotional expression, those differences are amplified by a culture that supports emotional development of girls and discourages it for boys. Stereotypical notions of masculine toughness deny a boy his emotional resources. We call this process, …show more content…
The object of examining gender roles is to answer the question why should women and men be equal and "Are there populations in which men and women are absolutely equal? Are there societies in which women dominate men?" (Gender 238) By understanding the culture in which this piece of literature is written, the gender roles and the rules of behavior for a woman, then the relationships between genders can be realized. The general myth about women and their gender role in the American society is that the mother works in the home and supports her man in every way. For each relationship, the people in that relationship must decide the particular roles that they will play. In the literary work "Girl", Kincaid shows clearly that the woman's role in this work was to serve the family and to work mainly in the house. The mother writing this story tells her daughter that "this is how you iron your father's khaki shirt so that it doesn't have a crease" (Kincaid 489). In this marriage, it is understood that the wife is to do the laundry for the husband. Today's society does not always provide these clear roles since many women work a full time job and the house chores are a responsibility for both to handle. Though the woman is still mainly held responsible for the home. There should be a constant search for equality in gender roles. Kincaid explains how the man is working to bring home the money and the wife supports
Kincaid explored the roles of women around the house, roles that may not seem to be significant, but if a household had to go without these roles the house would suffer. The mother teaches the young woman, “This is how you sweep a corner; this is how you sweep a whole house” (Kincaid, 20). This shows the roles of women inside the house. These roles may seem insignificant but they cannot be overlooked or ignored.
She explains that: … teen boys face many of the same challenges and are longing for many of the same things as girls: they fall in love easily, get their hearts broken and have very mixed feelings about the hypersexualized culture in which they live; they hunger to be more open about their feelings, both with their families and with their male friends, though they exist in a culture that discourages such emotional openness and they desperately want to maintain their social position among their guy friends regardless of the cost to them or others. (42) Because boys are taught to suppress their feelings many boys thus suffer from low self-esteem (43). Wiseman uses anecdotes and illustrations of boys dealing with real-life relationships and emotions to support her claim. She also provides statistics such as boys falling behind girls in regards to high-school GPA and college enrollment which she claims is a result of boys having low self-esteem (43). Lastly, she provides a solution by suggestion that parents should make a concerted effort to communicate more often with their sons about their emotional well-being
Society teaches young boys that they must always be tough and they must hold in their “feminine” feelings, such as crying. Not being able to adequately express emotion causes a build up of unresolved feelings and unfortunately when this build up becomes too high, the most natural outlet is violence. This form of hyper-masculinity contributes to issues of depression and suicide in boys, gun violence and mass shootings, and sexual assault on women because the built up emotions within young boys feeds violence. “Real” boys suffering from depression are taught not to show that emotion. They are taught that it is okay to talk about anger but not okay to talk about sadness because sadness is a “feminine” emotion. Without an outlet to work through sadness, depression brings out aggression and can lead to suicide because boys feel so alone and unable to talk to anyone about the thoughts racing in their head. Likewise, if young men do not take their own lives as a result of built up sadness, they may act out on the public in order to feel control—perhaps with gun violence, mass shootings, or even sexual assault on
The mother also teaches her daughter to cook, clean, and wash which traditionally is up to the women in a household to do. Kincaid makes the reader think and figure out for him, or herself, what point of life the child is in and what gender they are in order to draw them into the story.
Shellby Fuentes I feel that there are multiple issues facing young men and boys one of them being that society wants men not to showcase any emotion. A common perception in our society is that men are not supposed to cry, be scared, or be unhappy. It seems that the only emotions society will tolerate from men are anger, any form of aggression, happiness, or goofiness. These selected emotions and stereotyping cause so many problems for not only men, but the people that are surrounded by. For instance I have heard several people normalize and ignore a man’s aggression saying, “it’s just how men are.”
During the time both short stories were written and where they were written, similar things were expected of women despite the time period difference. In the 1970’s in the Caribbean, women were expected to take care of the house and their families. In the 1890’s, women were not allowed to do anything and be their own people in any way as long as they were married. These are similar because in both periods, women were forced into being led around by others. In “Girl” written by Jamaica Kincaid, the story follows a mother giving her daughter a long strain of advice and tasks she needs to learn how to do. The advice she gives is important and teaches the girl life skills and lessons while also scolding her. This story also reflects the oppression of women during this era, being the late 1970’s. The girl's mother tells her what a girl must do in their society and what she mustn't do. She says to her, “this is how to love a man, and if this doesn’t work there are other ways,” It shows how much is expected of a girl, from washing white clothing on Monday and
352). In today’s society there are no rules that prevent a person from doing all their laundry in the same day. A majority of people have probably learned from their parents or from experience that it doesn’t work so well if you wash whites and darks together; otherwise stating there are no instructions that come along with the task of laundry. In Kincaid’s (2011) story “Girl” the reader gathers the idea from the tone of the text, as it is the women’s role to do the laundry; whereas, in today’s society it is not always the woman completing the task of laundry. In some families, more often than less the women and men share the responsibility of doing laundry. In viewing the story “Girl” from a feminist perspective, another occurrence of gender roles would be the narrator’s statement “soak salt water fish overnight before you cook it” (Kincaid, 2011, p. 352). In the society that the story takes place, it is the woman’s responsibility to cook, compared to the twentieth century family, the meals may be prepared by every member of the family. Prior to the feminist laws women were treated with little to no respect for the things that they were expected to accomplish on a daily basis. In the era the story is written, women were often wives, housekeepers, cooks, and teachers. “This is how you iron your father’s khaki shirt so that it doesn’t have a crease; this is how you iron your father’s khaki pants so that they don’t have a crease,” and “this is how you sweep a
A lot of males’ violent behavior and females’ complaisance can be accredited to family and institutional socialization. Parents usually raise boys on aggressive sports, such as hockey and football, which encourage violence. Girls, however, are generally brought up on "feminine" activities, dance and figure skating to name a few, which promote a gentle, polite nature. It is the rare parent that heeds their four-year-old son’s aspiration to be a ballet dancer by purchasing the child a pair of tights and a leotard. When a boy shows more interest in dolls than in trucks, his family may be distressed, and provoke him to reveal his "masculine" side. After striving for egalitarianism between the sexes for so many years, families still deter young girls from pursuits of hockey stardom, hoping to interest them in Pointe shoes. Displays of emotion by boys are often criticized for being "unmasculine", whereas emotional behavior in girls tends to be expected and accepted. As a result, boys tend to not only hide their feelings, but criticize friends for showing their emotions. Girls, on the other hand, encourage one another to express feelings and console one another naturally.
In 'Girl'; Kincaid lists a series of orders from a mother to a daughter in such a way that the characters' lives are illuminated and transformed by the mundane household details. The 'Girl'; is more of a gender type of a story, but there is also a lesson that needs to be realized by the girl. In this story the mother of this girl is her teacher, she tells her daughter of how the world is around her, just like Miss Moore in 'The Lesson.'; The mother in this story tries to make her daughter realize that he needs to be viewed as a woman within society. Who or what the
When boys are young they are told to toughen up or to stop acting like a girl when they are sad or want to cry. Michael Kimmel, author of “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code, discusses how there is a code guys are supposed to follow and how being taught natural behaviors, such as crying or talking about emotions, are wrong at a young age negatively impacts boys for their whole life. Emily Smith, the author of Life on the Island, talks about how a decrease in places that have a feeling of community increases the suicide rate among men. Everyone tells boys to act a certain way their father, coach, even people they don’t know, but this is not the only place they hear these negative statements. Television and magazine advertisements often depict men in an unrealistic way that feels unachievable and because of this young boys who view these ads feel negatively about themselves and because of the guy code they can’t share their feelings and emotions which can lead to depression or even suicide.
Throughout the history, in all cultures the roles of males and females are different. Relating to the piece of literature “Girl” written by Jamaica Kincaid for the time, when women’s roles were to work in the home. By examining
“Girl” is a critically acclaimed short story by the Caribbean-American writer Jamaica Kincaid. It was first published in 1978 in The New Yorker magazine. The story revolves around the stream of consciousness interaction between two women, a mother and a daughter. The mother departs wisdom to the daughter in the form of short, declarative sentences and commands. The conversation ranges from advice about domestic chores to advice about sexual chores, indicating that both housekeeping and sexuality are a part of a woman's domestic labor.
Often, women are depicted by society to be weak, vulnerable and soft; while men are portrayed by society to be strong, emotionless and superior. This sexist stereotype makes it difficult for men to recognise that they have become victims of abuse, because it is more common for a man to think, ‘I’m a man, I’m the stronger one - this can’t be abuse,’ rather than ‘I’m being attacked, I need to get out.’ Boys are traditionally brought up to be tough and emotionless. While it is socially acceptable for a female individual to break down in tears, if a male were to do the same - he would be ridiculed, told to ‘suck it up’ and ‘be a man.’ This damages their psychological health from young, as they grow up battling with their human emotions in isolation. There has been no cultivation of a culture that encourages males to openly express their feelings. Society denies males of expressing emotion unless it is related to
This movie focused on something that people don't usually pay attention to, and that's the reason for the movie in the first place. Not only are men's emotions ignored in society but they are also shamed for feeling like humans. From a young age boys are taught that crying makes you weak and feeling emotions is only for women. So as biology goes these boys grow into men with the same mentality and pass the same message on to the next generation. In this paper i will be looking at specifically the way society shapes young boys to grow into emotionally unavailable men. Using the movie “The mask you live in” I will be evaluating the way young men are made to fear the human emotions that god has given them.
Women face their lives counterstained to the home in order to cook, clean, give birth, care for children, and only devote themselves to one job, family. Sarah Stickney Ellis writes about the role woman play