Reasons for Incompatibility in Marriages

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

The idea of women being the ‘nurturers’ and the men being the ‘providers’ has been around for ages. Both articles suggest that this idea no longer fits in with the modern ideas of marriage because marriage is now seen as an equally shared experience. The concept that the work in a marriage and raising children should be shared equally between partners has become an expectation. Each article points out expectations their partners have and how these assumptions lead to angry

Marriage has been constantly changing over the past centuries. Currently, trends in marriage have adopted a new way of getting married through splitting responsibilities and work, resulting in social freedom for individuals. "The Myth of Co-Parenting,” by Hope Edelman demonstrates the difficulties of taking all the responsibilities while in “ My Problem with Her Anger,” explains the needs of having a better understanding of each other. Due to marriage changing over the last centuries, marriage couples desire individuals’ expectations and freedom to be met in marriage.

Due to our behavioral aspect these new situations may be hard for us to handle. One person might be set in their ways and have a hard time coping with change. This leads to moments of stress, possible anger, as well as other emotions of the body. These negative experiences can lead to a change in genetics in the body. In order to help the relationship stay strong and survive these changes both partners must examine themselves and understand what forces of nature are in their control and how they can effectively combat the situation. When these problems arise it is the responsibility of the unaffected partner to be there with kindness, love, and support for the other person. When these positive reinforces are present the environment around them changes and can lead to a more interactive and happy partner. Although important to a relationship I believe that the biological perspective is one of the lesser forces that impact the relationship.

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

Marriage has often been described as one of the most beautiful and powerful unions one human can form with another. It is the sacred commitment and devotion that two people share in a relationship that makes marriage so appealing since ancient times, up until today. To have and to hold, until death do us part, are the guarantees that two individuals make to one another as they pledge to become one in marriage. It is easy to assume that the guarantee of marriage directly places individuals in an everlasting state of love, affection, and support. However, over the years, marriage has lost its fairy

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

In Katherine Porters “The Necessary Enemy” through her analysis of the modern construct of what some people may call “Romantic love” also provides us with a cursory history of the evolution of marriage throughout the years and its implications as far as couple interactions are concerned. Although she poses the question, her insufficient response still begs for an answer: how did what she called “Romantic love,” possibly find its way into marriage? Porter only begins to describe the present circumstances by differentiating the ideas of accustomed invocation of “hate” and the idealistic “Romantic love” but provides a useful insight into the impeccable nature of humans, we create our own sufferings out the bad experiences we find some semblance

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Unsatisfied with their partners results in divorce rates and infidelity. These have increased over the years, blemishing the institution of marriage. People may believe that compromises and self sacrifice in a marriage make it a failed institute but the same reasons make a marriage successful. A married man has a constant in his life- his partner. The security and companionship in the relationship helps him achieve happiness. The same sharing is now a pleasure, a way to prevent loneliness (Argyle; 1999). Marriage is known to cause greater satisfaction, greater self esteem and less distress. Evidence shows that married men and women are happier.

The ingredients used to create a dream wedding, such as a white satin gown, or a three-tiered wedding cake, are not enough to form an everlasting marriage. Divorce rates have drastically increased over the past decade. This fluctuation of unhappiness among married couples may be due to a wide variety of issues. However, sociologist Medora Barnes has sought to pinpoint it down to one primary issue, the lack of a solid foundation in family structure.

In the late 1800’s through early 1900’s women and men were did not “tie the knot” like the women and men do in today’s day. In today’s world, women and men get married because they have many things in common, they are in love with each other, and they choose to get married to one another. In many stories written back then, readers can expect to read about how marriages were arranged and how many people were not having the wedded bliss marriage proclaims today.

One of the main things people do when they feel great chemistry between one another is get married. Some couples are unable to maintain their relationship and they get a divorce; which is one of the solutions to solve the problems between husband and wife. Most people think carefully before they get married however the divorce rates are continuously increasing.

     As with any marriage, problems will obviously occur, and the manner in which these problems are handled will most often affect the happiness of the couple. Another major issue of dicussion is the amount of time a couple spends with each other, as well as the quality of the interaction, and lastly, the issue of similarity will be addressed. In order for a marriage to succeed, the communication patterns of the couple must be similar and compatible if there is to be any agreement between the spouses.

One of the main causes that marriages are not lasting is the change in the roles of woman today. Prior to the 1980’s it was the man’s responsibility to earn money and financially provide for his family, whereas the