Reflection Paper

There are multiple reasons I am where I am today and why I’m going where I’m going. I have struggled in school ever since I can remember but without the people that I have had in my life I wouldn’t where I am today. But as I will talk about the teacher have played a huge role in the reason I am able to be where I am today.

On September 6, 2017, I were documented for an incident that involved a University Housing policy violation. I was charged with violating the University Housing Alcohol 1.2 policy. With my violation, came consequences. I met with The Residence Conduct Coordinator to discuss my actions and came to the conclusion that I would have to schedule a meeting with The Campus Alcohol and Drug Education Center (CADEC) and with that, a reflection paper.

They were good friends of ours, so they also wanted to know what happened to him. When we we’re about to leave,my mom called the house phone I answered and asked what happened. She told me the doctors tried to help him the best they could but nothing was successful. I started crying as soon as I heard that,my father which has been by my side almost all my life has left. Our neighbors gave me a ride to the hospital. I heard from my sisters that that they could of bring him back,but he would be a vegetable. My mom didn’t want him to suffer so she rejected the offer. It took me weeks for me to recover, I would act like nothing had happened but deep down,I was depressed. It took me awhile to get used to him not being there, the first christmas was really hard for our family. It took me about a few months to actually get used to it. I figured out things happen for reason and his death happened for a reason. I don’t know the reason but it must be a very good one. I figured out an year later, he was having a lot of stress in his life. He was having a hard time to support our family,even though my Mom had a job it was still kinda hard for us. Maybe it was good reason he left us, all the stress might of got even worse if he lived.

Over the course of the semester, there has been numerous amount of areas where I believe I have improved in comparison to high school. What has helped me in my writing is the writing class and the in-class writing workshop. The writing class that is located in the Kremen education building has helped me with my writing greatly because in the writing center the person in charge teach us lenses and we apply those lenses to the writing, draft, or reading that someone brings in. The in-class writing workshop has helped me because other students get to read my writing. This is helpful because I get feedback from many students and they let me know what needs to be fixed. A new tool I have been using is They Say I Say. The book is very helpful because of the information and examples it provides such as the templates. I have been applying the templates into my essays and I have seen a significant difference.

Since the beginning of the semester, my writing has changed and evolved to accommodate and sustain longer essays. With longer essays, there is more room for in-depth analysis. Further analyzing a topic has led me to findings that I did not know existed. As I continue to write, I uncover addition and superior methods to approach my writing to the benefit of me and therefore, my audience. Throughout the semester, I have incorporated techniques to further my narrative throughout my writing.

I’m a light skin woman living in south Mississippi. I do not personally identify with a race of people. However, my family identifies themselves as Caucasian, I debunk race identification as an arbitrary made-up system employed to categorize people. I believe we are one race, the human race. I more identify with nationality as an American.

I remember where it all started; I sat on the guard stand of an empty pool with a nagging mother texting my phone and time to kill. It was the summer before my senior year, the summer before I would make the most important decision of my life so far. I stared down at the blank list of schools in front of me; where to start? I visited a few campuses, and my mother put a few bugs in my ear, one for her alma mater, and the other for two historically black schools (HBCUs). I wrote the first down, placing it low on my list, but there was hesitation with the other two. My entire academic career have been in predominantly white environments; how would I navigate a majority black space?

Looking in the mirror at the actual physical presentation of myself, I investigated what other people view when they looked upon me. At that moment, I began to realize what the features are interpreted as. My hair is pulled up and tight, various people have suspected military, but I have never been enlisted. My glasses and crooked teeth would suggest that my parents were low income, no corrective surgery or braces for me. My body image would be identified, instantly by women, as having children and I do have two sons. After one eight-pound boy and the other almost ten-pound baby my body did not return to its original dimensions, there was no weight trainer or nutritionist for me. My calloused hands will tell anyone that I am a blue-collar worker and the ring on my left tells them that I am married. Progressing through college and beyond will be my way out of the shell that society has created me in, it will be my golden door to freedom.

My mother does genology for my family so I know that I am mostly a mix of African, Native American and not enough European to really think about. I look like a normal African-American girl and most people I come in contact with assume the same thing. To define myself without race I would say I am invested in the betterment of other peoples lives and performing in front of an audience. As a black woman I am affected mostly in my major, theatre, because being black is a factor in whether or not I am cast in certain roles. Personally it has been a rollercoaster going to predominately white-schools and still finding a way to love and appreiciate my blackness. I’m reminded of my race daily when I have to mix my foundations to find a shade that isn’t offered or when my theatre professors suggest I do a monologue from “A Raisin in the Sun’ and as of recently when I look at the news I am affected by the fact that the injustice in the world based on race could happen to me or a loved one in a heartbeat.

Going into this term, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My initial plan did not include taking this course this summer. Somehow, Troy ended up changing the schedule and it worked out for me. At least, I thought it was going to work out for me. This term has been very interesting. The classes that I took are PSY 6645 Evaluation and Assessment and CP 6642 Group Dynamics. This paper is going to be about my experience in PSY 6645. I’m going to discuss concepts that were new to me, experiences that caused me to think differently, if I feel as if this course is meaningful, and what can be applied to my professional practice.

We are all strong. Some people never realize this, but everybody has an inner warrior. While it’s true that not everyone has great physical power, but mentally and emotionally everybody has some kind of strength. For me, I am not physically as robust or as athletic as some, but mentally I am strong. There are times when I bring myself down, but I know that my strong mind will soon return to its normal balance and pick me back up. There are times when I am down and I feel I may never be the same, but no matter what my mental strength lends a hand, and returns me to my ordinary routine. The perfect example of my strong mind is my relationship with swimming. My beloved sport, swimming, is meant for someone with a strong mental mind. Therefore, feel like I was born to swim.

It was a cool Sunday morning in the summer month of August. My brother was getting his senior pictures taken. My family and I were all laughing and having a great time together. Later in the day, I went to dance choreography while my dad and brothers went on a four wheeler ride with their friends down in the muddy and rugged creek near our house. Usually after dance choreography, my mom comes to take videos and pictures of our dance, but our session ended and she was not there. That is when I began to sense something was wrong as the normal became abnormal. My friend’s mom told me she was picking me up because my dad had been in an accident and was flown to the hospital in St. Louis. Immediately, I began to cry, but my caring dance teacher and loving friends comforted me as I left for the St. Louis hospital with my friend

    To control my anger and be a calmer person, I will have to focus on solving the problems that make me angry. Therefore, I will learn how to apologize when I get in my bad mood and go off on  people and then end up hurting them with my words. I will also try to stick to my own problems that correspond with me, because I feel that when I try to solve a problem that does not correspond to me, I end up saying the wrong thing and easily end up impatient and mad.  I would like to prevent getting mad for example, I was furious when my little cousins lost

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (New International Version, Matt. 6.33-34). If I was told these verses when I was younger, they would contain no special meaning behind them, but after retiring from the military and the trials my family went through to get to where we are today, these verses stand out to me every time I read them. Until we go through our own personal trials we tend to be unaware of how strong our faith and trust needs to be in God. There were moments, when I was younger, where I relied on the Lord, but nothing that could have prepared me for the trust required to give to God during a time where my life completely changed. My family and I were a military family stationed in Hawaii where I lived for most of my life; Hawaii was all I knew. So when my father was ready to retire from his job in the Navy, it meant leaving my “safe zone” that I called home. Living in Hawaii was not an option after retirement for a large family of eight, for it was too expensive to afford. With that said, we went to stay with my grandfather in New York while my father searched for a new job.

I texted my mom during lunch asking how it went. She said that she would tell me later. That was the first warning sign, but I just brushed it off. When my mom picked me, I immediately asked was how Lucky was. My mom was acting much different than usual, she was very quiet. She told me that the vet said Lucky had kidney disease and all they could do is give him pain medicine and try to keep him alive until that weekend when my dad got home on Friday.