Reflection Paper

Writing has never been one of my strengths. Even in high school, when I took an AP English literature course, I did not enjoy writing papers if need be. Since I did not fancy writing papers, I never developed a systematic writing process. I would write the paper last minute and pray for an A, but college doesn’t work like that. When I came to college, I placed into music classes first so that I could develop those skills, thus leaving my core classes (including English) on the backburner. Although I do not regret this decision, having a two-year gap between English classes made it difficult to readapt. Instead of spending hours practicing instruments and music theory, I faced the challenging task of shifting gears to spend a majority of my time behind my laptop. How was I supposed to manage this new workload?

I always knew there was a God. That is something I never questioned. When I was little I was taught about the LDS church by my grandparents. My dad always taught me that the LDS church was not true. He would tell me things like “all mormons are going to hell” and he would tell me it was a church based on lies. At such a young age this was very confusing for me, but I have always been a daddy’s girl so of course at one point I started to wonder if my dad was right. I wasn't able to be baptized at 8 because my dad would not allow it. When I was in 4th grade my mom, my sister, and I moved out of my grandparents house and became inactive to the point where I had forgotten a lot of what I had learned from my grandparents and at church. We continued to be in active and would attend church maybe two or three times a year. The missionaries would come to our door occasionally, but my mom would always tell them that me and my sister are unable to be baptized because my dad won’t allow it and send them away.

I grew up in church and in a Christian home which I do appreciate because some people do not have the opportunity as I do. Personally, my domination is a Methodist because my father is a full time Methodist pastor. My faith when I was younger was weak, because we for example had a dress code for my family on Sunday we had to wear Sunday best (girls are not allowed to wear blue jeans). We had to set examples for others. My dad talked about it does not matter what clothing you wear if you have clothing on. All that matters are that we are here to worship the one and only savior. Now that I look back my view on Jesus as a little kid would have to be a Judgmental God and a Gocha God because my step mom would want us to seat an example while we were at church and we would always get in trouble if we do something wrong in church. In the summer of my Middle school year I went to Camp Loucon and my faith grew stronger because one night during worship I felt a tug on my heart. The tug you cannot get rid of. I knew Jesus needed a home in my heart. So, I went up to the alter the Dean of the camp came up to me and said what do you want me to pray for I said accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. When he was done praying I felt this piece of calmness, and such greater joy that I can’t explain. I felt so happy I started to cry. (I usually never cry). Later that night my cabin laid on a basketball court at camp and looked at the stars. I said, “there’s a lot of stars up there”.

A Hindu spiritual teacher once shared, “This world is your best teacher. There is a lesson in everything. There is a lesson in each experience. Learn it and become wise” (Sivananda). When I take this wise advice and reflect on the past year, I see many lessons that have helped me become a more mature and responsible person. Many of these lessons have been through my English course with Mrs. Frohoff. In this class, we’ve had many units, such as the types of love, writing assignments, including many 1-page reflections, projects, such as a memoir and a PSA, and presentations on themes like identity and critical world problems. It has been through our memoir assignment, the large number of deadlines given, and the presentations required that I’ve been taught valuable lessons about who I am and how to grow as a person throughout this school year.

I grew up in Greenville, South Carolina. Having had grown up in the south, I was always around people who are more traditional in viewpoints, especially when surrounding the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual/Transgender, Questioning, and more community. I received my education at a high school where no one hesitated to throw around extremely derogatory terms. Throughout my schooling I had found close friends who had expressed their feelings of not fitting into their biological sex. Every time I heard them talk about their feelings I felt my heart sinking. I knew it was not fair. I found myself constantly feeling their pain. Feeling all their fear, anger, and sadness along with them because I knew that they lived in fear of people finding out who they really were and what their reactions might be. It broke my heart that they were forced into constantly fearing for their safety.

She compared her life to a hurricane, a natural disaster that took everything in its path and destroy any shred of light in her life. Thus, the weeks turned into years of regressive behavior that led her to believe that she was not good enough to truly be herself. She only allowed herself to be her mother’s puppet, an item only used for public occasions, for if she ever became her own self, she would be outcasted. Yet, during those times I recall a shout in the cave of darkness, a murmured voice saying: Carpe Diem. Seize the day. My brother used those words when I was little —he was an extroverted fellow who vocalized whatever he felt because he was confident in whom he was. Nevertheless, I was an introverted, insecure, and self-conscious kid who was silenced by the public because they scared me. Fear ruled my actions. Fear ruled my mind. Fear ruled me; yet, my brother’s words rang a certain alarm in my head when I grew up. Thus, I realized that my individuality was stolen. My silence was bought, and my uniqueness was used as a weapon for society’s cruel expectations. I noticed that the world has so many beliefs, ideas, and aspirations that I wanted my own drum to beat in my own rhythm.

I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior when I was 20 years old. At that time I was struggling with my family, problems in school and toxic relationship with my boyfriend. Despite believing in God I still did not have the knowledge of his word and the spiritual skills to find the wisdom and spiritual resources. In the midst of all those difficult circumstances a miracle happened: the Savior chose me, one of my aunts invited me to a Bible study group where I was captivated by the love, forgiveness and guidance that the word of God and His Holy Spirit was giving me in that moment the peace which surpasses all understanding, so from that day I made the decision and went to my aunt's church, to a retreat and then baptized accepting Jesus as my savior.

In 1994, my parents immigrated to Canada from Vietnam to seek better living conditions and a promising future for their soon-to-be children. However, to live in a free nation filled with opportunities, the two left everything behind. While living in rent, my father worked full-time at a factory while my mother had found a job as a cashier. Although they had a sustainable income, my father understood that raising a child would cost them more than they were currently making. In 1997, my father decided to study computer science at Langara in search for a better-paying job while working part-time as a security guard. Meanwhile, my mother took up housekeeping, working at two different hotels to earn more money for their coming child. Understandably, my parents had made their lives much harder immigrating to Canada, but their sacrifices - I can say - has paid off.

Reflecting on the past two terms in school, I would constantly find myself preparing and delivering a lesson which I felt were missing something. I was constantly asking my mentor teachers how I could have better differentiated lessons, especially at senior level. I believe on completing this assignment I have discovered three extremely beneficial frameworks which will improve my lessons and I believe develop a flexible curriculum which allows differentiation for all students to develop their learning capacity and engage them throughout the lesson.

The Jesus and Christian Community class at Fresno Pacific University is a course where a student can further develop their relationship and understanding of the Bible while discovering a relationship with Christ. All incoming freshmen are required to take this course as a part of their general education requirements which focuses on the book of Matthew, his interpretation, and the historical background of the Bible. One of our assignments is to help incoming pupils understand a certain verse and its purpose. The section we will be focusing on is the in Matthew chapter 17 verses 14 through 21 in addition to the Sadducees and other related topics. Jesus has followers which are the general public and disciples who are the people who claim to be devoted to God called the Pharisees and Sadducees. The faction of the disciples called the Sadducees are a group that are not characteristically what one would depict as humble servant of Christ. They followed their own set of rules and had standards that were different from the Pharisees, the followers of Christ, and Jesus himself. As we continue this discussion, we will see the importance of the verse in Matthew along with the roles the Sadducees and the things that influenced their cultural views.

Over the course of the semester we have done numerous writing assignments in order to help us dig deeper into topics that we might not have known about previously and to improve our writing skills. I have never been an excellent writer. I’ve had trouble planning out where details would go in my past papers. However, there has been a clear improvement in my writing when looking back on the work that I have done in this class.

Looking in the mirror at the actual physical presentation of myself, I investigated what other people view when they looked upon me. At that moment, I began to realize what the features are interpreted as. My hair is pulled up and tight, various people have suspected military, but I have never been enlisted. My glasses and crooked teeth would suggest that my parents were low income, no corrective surgery or braces for me. My body image would be identified, instantly by women, as having children and I do have two sons. After one eight-pound boy and the other almost ten-pound baby my body did not return to its original dimensions, there was no weight trainer or nutritionist for me. My calloused hands will tell anyone that I am a blue-collar worker and the ring on my left tells them that I am married. Progressing through college and beyond will be my way out of the shell that society has created me in, it will be my golden door to freedom.

In our everyday lives, we tend to categorize people because of their race, culture, their socioeconomic status, and judge people by their looks, age, ability, and gender. When I was working at a daycare past summer of grade 9, I met one Chinese girl who was around 4-5 years old. One time I witness her classmates making fun of her because she has a asian accent when she talks in English, her eyes are small, her mom works at a restaurant with low pay. Even during break, I would always see her sitting in a corner all alone, while others were having fun. Therefore, I took the courage to talk to her. Throughout the conversation, I realized that she was mad at herself because she has a different race from others, language barrier between her and her classmates and she was ashamed of her mother working at a restaurant because other parents work at a higher pay occupation.

In school, I used to loathe the icebreakers that involved saying an interesting fact about oneself. I would fumble around and iterate some unoriginal sentiment about my favorite color or animal and leave without actually providing substance about myself. This all changed after I lost the vision in my right eye and could tell people about the three-inch needle that pierces my eye multiple times every year. I thoroughly enjoy watching people squirm as I chuckle and explain the process.

To go along with being an athlete, I am a student. To be able to get playing time, you need to have good grades. My parents didn’t just push me to be a good athlete, but to get good grades. I had higher expectations compared to my brother. But that pushed me to keep my grades up and do get an A on assignments and tests. This impacted who I was and what I decided to value. It was important to my parents that I got good grades, but to me it was too because it helped me get into college and it made me feel good about myself. Being a student, just like being an athlete, teaches me to be diligent in the work that I have in front of me. It also teaches me time management, and what I need to get done compared to going out with my friends.