Reflection Paper

It is December 03, 2005 and a typical Saturday morning where I was awakened by a restless night of sleep. I sat up in the bed, grabbed the remote to turn on the television, and then scanned my surroundings only to discover that I had become very familiar with the 4 walls of the room. You see, I was in a relationship (or so I thought) where I can honestly confess that I was not only lonely but I was also alone. I was in a relationship with a live in boyfriend whom rarely surfaced, well at least not when I was at home; his belongings where at my place, but very seldom was his presence made known. My thoughts concerning this so-called relationship begin to overwhelm me so I shifted gears and headed to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and washed my face before being led by hunger to the kitchen where I prepared a bowl of cereal, slice of toast, and a glass of orange juice.

Over the course of the semester, there has been numerous amount of areas where I believe I have improved in comparison to high school. What has helped me in my writing is the writing class and the in-class writing workshop. The writing class that is located in the Kremen education building has helped me with my writing greatly because in the writing center the person in charge teach us lenses and we apply those lenses to the writing, draft, or reading that someone brings in. The in-class writing workshop has helped me because other students get to read my writing. This is helpful because I get feedback from many students and they let me know what needs to be fixed. A new tool I have been using is They Say I Say. The book is very helpful because of the information and examples it provides such as the templates. I have been applying the templates into my essays and I have seen a significant difference.

One weekend I went out with friends for the first time since returning to campus from winter break. It was also the first time I smoked weed since breaking up with him, and I had also been drinking that night. I did have fun; my friends looked out for me and dropped me of in my dorm. But once I was in my room, he contacted me wanting to talk. Up until then we had not been in communication because he expressed having no desire to talk to me after “what I did” to end the relationship. I was aware of my state and told him I was not sober. Apparently neither was he, which would supposedly make us “talking” better cause it would be more “honest”. So he comes over and I let him in. I have so many regrets, but I also know that my decisions while under the influence did not give him the permission to do what he did. I let him into my room, I let him talk to me because I could not respond with what I wanted to say to him in my state, I let him kiss me because I could not resist him…and he took it further than I wanted to go. A week later, I confided to one of my Academic Deans about what happened and an Order of No Contact was put into place.

I’m a light skin woman living in south Mississippi. I do not personally identify with a race of people. However, my family identifies themselves as Caucasian, I debunk race identification as an arbitrary made-up system employed to categorize people. I believe we are one race, the human race. I more identify with nationality as an American.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (New International Version, Matt. 6.33-34). If I was told these verses when I was younger, they would contain no special meaning behind them, but after retiring from the military and the trials my family went through to get to where we are today, these verses stand out to me every time I read them. Until we go through our own personal trials we tend to be unaware of how strong our faith and trust needs to be in God. There were moments, when I was younger, where I relied on the Lord, but nothing that could have prepared me for the trust required to give to God during a time where my life completely changed. My family and I were a military family stationed in Hawaii where I lived for most of my life; Hawaii was all I knew. So when my father was ready to retire from his job in the Navy, it meant leaving my “safe zone” that I called home. Living in Hawaii was not an option after retirement for a large family of eight, for it was too expensive to afford. With that said, we went to stay with my grandfather in New York while my father searched for a new job.

After reviewing this assignment, I learned that my approached was going to be a little different from what I was accustomed to doing with other assignments. In previous assignments I referred to a project that my company had completed and had control of from beginning to the end. In that scenario we were in control of and responsible for how far off we were from the schedule/task, cost, and projected finish time. Basically in this assignment the manager was there from the beginning as well; somewhere along the way the project manager’s focus has shifted and we have been given the responsibility to re-evaluate the situation and determine which direction should be taken to get back on track with cost and time. In this scenario the project manager has lost sight of his scope and time schedule.

Writing is a tool that will be used throughout my lifetime. It is a tool that is worth taking the time to perfect because it will only be beneficial in the long run. On my writing assignments, I earn A’s, but I still have areas that I need to work on. The areas that I struggle the most would be with simple grammar errors such as the use of commas, writing with an active voice, and writing short,simple sentences. First of all, I often do not know where to place commas in my sentence. I struggle with this because I tend to add commas in the wrong place, so I have become confused with the proper use of commas. This is a small grammar error that I can easily correct by learning where and when commas are needed. I have also found and been told that I write in a passive voice when I should be using an active voice. This is a technique that I have to work on by practicing it and noticing the difference while I am writing and reading. Finally, I often write run on sentences or sentences that include unnecessary information. This makes my writing unclear and difficult for the reader to understand. I could improve by writing shorter and simpler sentences that include only the essential information to get my point across. I have noticed these mistakes in my writing and it has also been brought up by others, so I am currently working on improving it.

Since the beginning of the semester, my writing has changed and evolved to accommodate and sustain longer essays. With longer essays, there is more room for in-depth analysis. Further analyzing a topic has led me to findings that I did not know existed. As I continue to write, I uncover addition and superior methods to approach my writing to the benefit of me and therefore, my audience. Throughout the semester, I have incorporated techniques to further my narrative throughout my writing.

As a young child growing up during the 1950’s, I observed how religion not only solidify my household but my community in Overbrook. My mother often talked to my siblings and I about the various temptations in the world that are often inevitable to young people like us. In spite of this, I believed that I would not become a victim of these temptations. A few years later during my teenage years, I eventually indulged in the “worldly” aspects of life. I knew that I could not live this way forever so I decided to make a positive change in my life. I sporadically started to visit a Church on Sunday mornings to start my change. Conversely, I began to notice that this attempt to change was superficial as I still did not follow the teachings. I insisted on still living my life. I failed to follow one of the primary

My first boyfriend was in to drugs, I thought I loved this man. He was my first love and the man that took my virginity. He got me to smoke cigarettes, a few other things, and convinced me that we were going to be together forever. Only to find out he was using me. I betrayed my best friend for this man. He treated like I was nothing towards the end. However in the beginning he treated me as a queen. We broke up when he moved out of town. I thought he was cheating on me. Later on I found that he told his best friend that I was clingy and was cheating on him. After we broke up I stopped smoking, I tried to get my life together, and get my friends back.

Looking in the mirror at the actual physical presentation of myself, I investigated what other people view when they looked upon me. At that moment, I began to realize what the features are interpreted as. My hair is pulled up and tight, various people have suspected military, but I have never been enlisted. My glasses and crooked teeth would suggest that my parents were low income, no corrective surgery or braces for me. My body image would be identified, instantly by women, as having children and I do have two sons. After one eight-pound boy and the other almost ten-pound baby my body did not return to its original dimensions, there was no weight trainer or nutritionist for me. My calloused hands will tell anyone that I am a blue-collar worker and the ring on my left tells them that I am married. Progressing through college and beyond will be my way out of the shell that society has created me in, it will be my golden door to freedom.

I have made three salient contributions to the LGBTQ movement and LGBTQ rights. The most noteworthy, in my opinion, was my contribution to the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA). I was awarded a full scholarship to attend Stetson University and compete for the tennis team as a Division I athlete. During my tenure, I had noticed the discourse surrounding LGBTQ+ athletes had been minimally harmful. I was closeted for three out of the four years as an undergrad. In these years, I both witnessed and was regularly the target of disparaging remarks on the basis of character or perceived sexual orientation. These petty remarks, fueled by ignorance, started to accumulate and I increasingly grew aware of how these remarks became more hostile when the subject was at the intersection of race, gender expression, and sexuality.

My mother does genology for my family so I know that I am mostly a mix of African, Native American and not enough European to really think about. I look like a normal African-American girl and most people I come in contact with assume the same thing. To define myself without race I would say I am invested in the betterment of other peoples lives and performing in front of an audience. As a black woman I am affected mostly in my major, theatre, because being black is a factor in whether or not I am cast in certain roles. Personally it has been a rollercoaster going to predominately white-schools and still finding a way to love and appreiciate my blackness. I’m reminded of my race daily when I have to mix my foundations to find a shade that isn’t offered or when my theatre professors suggest I do a monologue from “A Raisin in the Sun’ and as of recently when I look at the news I am affected by the fact that the injustice in the world based on race could happen to me or a loved one in a heartbeat.

We are all strong. Some people never realize this, but everybody has an inner warrior. While it’s true that not everyone has great physical power, but mentally and emotionally everybody has some kind of strength. For me, I am not physically as robust or as athletic as some, but mentally I am strong. There are times when I bring myself down, but I know that my strong mind will soon return to its normal balance and pick me back up. There are times when I am down and I feel I may never be the same, but no matter what my mental strength lends a hand, and returns me to my ordinary routine. The perfect example of my strong mind is my relationship with swimming. My beloved sport, swimming, is meant for someone with a strong mental mind. Therefore, feel like I was born to swim.

Going into this term, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My initial plan did not include taking this course this summer. Somehow, Troy ended up changing the schedule and it worked out for me. At least, I thought it was going to work out for me. This term has been very interesting. The classes that I took are PSY 6645 Evaluation and Assessment and CP 6642 Group Dynamics. This paper is going to be about my experience in PSY 6645. I’m going to discuss concepts that were new to me, experiences that caused me to think differently, if I feel as if this course is meaningful, and what can be applied to my professional practice.