Reflection Paper

As my first semester at Rosemont College is coming to an end soon, I would like to tell you how I got here and how will I stay here. While applying to college Rosemont was not first choice. It was on the bottom of my list. But when I came to visits and listened to what the tour guides were saying I thought Rosemont would be the place for me. The biggest problem, for me was I wanted to stay close to home. I have family at home that I really did not want to be away from, it was my first time being away from home. I know that being away from home would be a change for me, it was a hard decision to make but I made it! The first step of getting to Rosemont was applying into then coming to visit, after my first visit I was still uninterested into the school. The campus was dull and dry and I did not see any students walking around or any of them coming out of class. Shortly after Spring Break of 2017 I had to make a choice. I began to look at the bigger picture of why I wanted to go. While Rosemont was not a place that I wanted to come, but I knew that I would get all my work done and more. I was happy I made the decision I made, because I am staying focus getting all of my work done.

On September 6, 2017, I were documented for an incident that involved a University Housing policy violation. I was charged with violating the University Housing Alcohol 1.2 policy. With my violation, came consequences. I met with The Residence Conduct Coordinator to discuss my actions and came to the conclusion that I would have to schedule a meeting with The Campus Alcohol and Drug Education Center (CADEC) and with that, a reflection paper.

I have always struggled with public speaking. During freshmen year of high school, I realized that I couldn’t speak to my teachers without leaving an awkward pause at the end, or tell my friends news in a way that made sense. Everything that left my mouth seemed to end on a note of confusion and was open for interpretation. I tried to improve my accent, but it was like icing on a flat cake. I continued to participate in class, in hopes that I would eventually grow out of this odd speech phase. However, I would still get responses such as, “What do you mean?” or “Can you repeat that?”

For as long as I can remember, public speaking has always been one of my greatest weaknesses. Whether it’s a simple in-class presentation or a speech in front of an auditorium filled with people, I can barely get my words out from the anxiety and

For my service learning project I worked in Mrs. Evelyn Costa's first grade class at Meadowlane Elementary. Meadowlane is located at 4280 W 8th Avenue in Hialeah, Florida and was constructed in 1957. There are one thousand one hundred and seventy seven students enrolled at Meadowlane Elementary school. Meadowlane has fifty three classrooms and fourteen portables and there are one hundred and seventy nine students per grade level. The school was built on nine acres of land. The student population of meadowlane Elementary is comprised of 97% Hispanic, 2% White, and 1% Asian.

Over the course of the semester, there has been numerous amount of areas where I believe I have improved in comparison to high school. What has helped me in my writing is the writing class and the in-class writing workshop. The writing class that is located in the Kremen education building has helped me with my writing greatly because in the writing center the person in charge teach us lenses and we apply those lenses to the writing, draft, or reading that someone brings in. The in-class writing workshop has helped me because other students get to read my writing. This is helpful because I get feedback from many students and they let me know what needs to be fixed. A new tool I have been using is They Say I Say. The book is very helpful because of the information and examples it provides such as the templates. I have been applying the templates into my essays and I have seen a significant difference.

Since the beginning of the semester, my writing has changed and evolved to accommodate and sustain longer essays. With longer essays, there is more room for in-depth analysis. Further analyzing a topic has led me to findings that I did not know existed. As I continue to write, I uncover addition and superior methods to approach my writing to the benefit of me and therefore, my audience. Throughout the semester, I have incorporated techniques to further my narrative throughout my writing.

“Through salvation our past has been forgiven, our present is given meaning, and our future is secured” -Rick Warren. Sunday, November 30, 2014 around 12:40 was a very special day for me. Life-changing you could say. This was a breaking of a new day to me. A fresh start and a very new beginning. This is a day that I never will forget. The day when my heart was spiritually opened and an opened invitation was held out to a certain someone. The day I was baptized in Jesus name. Baptism is a sacred event for Christians. It is considered an ordinance of Jesus Christ. It is a concept of being submerged under water to be considered ‘’saved’’. Being saved in other words is saved means that you are accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. He is now the center of your life. It means giving up yourself and doing the work of Christ. It means turning from anything that is against the will of the highest. The day I gave my life to Christ was very special to me because I learned a lot that day. I learned who I was, who I was in Christ, and what life after this meant for me.

When I decided to register for this class I chose it because out of my options the only one that seemed interesting was women’s studies. I did not think it would have an impact on me or my way of thinking. Looking back, I have learned so much that I will take with me in life and not just use in the classroom. Through the semester, we have talked about many aspects in this course that have made me relate and connect to past experiences in my life. This class has helped me to make changes in my thought process and I am glad that I have had the chance to learn everything that I have. It has been very beneficial to learn about the social constructs that I always saw in my life. I have connected many aspects of this class to my life in various ways and situations.

There I was, standing in the grounds of my school, bound by judgemental onlooking eyes, which studied me for a sign of vulnerability; begging for me to collapse into my self-fabricated darkness. Like a cowardly criminal, I slumped, trembling uncontrollably in the middle of the secluded balcony, where I implored myself to “stop” as I yet again had a crippling anxiety attack which incarcerated my whole body, though this time because my counsellor had called my parents regarding my suicidal ideation. It was punishing enough to wake up in the mornings, though faced with the constant internalization of emotions tore strips off my self-esteem. Tears filled my eyes like an overflowing river and cascaded down my face, though freezing in the silence. Proceeding to tell myself repetitively to “stop it”, as I refused to accept that mental illness was the corruptive reality of my life, I cowered as the flashbacks uncontrollably replayed in my mind. I recollected the words that any mother would dread to divulge to their child; that “sometimes I think that it would be better that you were gone, because then, you wouldn’t have to feel this pain”, contradicting this by expressing to me that “I know it’s selfish, but you can’t leave me”.

Ever since I started going to school, my parents always expected me to perform at an elevated level. Being the only child, it was difficult for me to fulfill their wishes. As I grew up, it became more challenging as I felt like I was always being compared to my cousins for not performing as well as them.

When I moved from South Korea to Miami, I expected there to be many differences. What I didn’t foresee was that there were also some similarities. I assumed that moving from South Korea back to the United States, would be akin to going home. However, I discovered that coming to Miami was comparable to adjusting to a foreign country all over again. Both South Korea and Miami are lovely places to visit. One of them, however, is also a marvelous place to live.

After years of suffering abuse at the hands of my mother, I decided to take back my life and freedom. On July 4th 2014, I boarded a train from Chicago to California to leave the comfort of all I’ve ever known and ventured into uncharted territory. For three days, I sat on that train, just my books and my thoughts for company. By leaving, there was a stronger chance of a promising future for myself. What I didn’t know at that time was that I was headed towards heart-shattering changes that made me who I am today: a resilient, independent woman.

In life, everyone gets to experience moments that they will cherish forever, as well as the ones that hurt to look back at. I’ve had the disappointing pleasure of having these moments back to back years. They both have to deal with the sport that challenges me from all aspects in life. Wrestling has ran in the Ybarra family for generations. I felt great coming out of sophomore year, as the Class B, 126 pound state champion. Before I knew it, I was already walking the halls as a Junior after the summer of 2016 flew past. I wish I could say Junior year went as tremendous as the year before, but that just wasn’t the case.

As a child, the number one question asked is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A ludicrous question to ask a child who has no concept of the real world and real professions other than the ones that their parents have. Most children will answer with being a princess, a super hero; however, I would always say I wanted to work with kids. I thought I wanted to do so medically, but figured out Education was my calling instead. A notion that I was too blinded to see in the past, but so many others saw within me. Now that I am pursuing Education, Elementary Education to be exact, I would not have wanted it any other way. It is exciting taking all of the necessary courses that are preparing me to be a great teacher.