Reflection Paper

Reading and writing is a fundamental part of our learning experience. Reading allows you to enter worlds and experience things you wouldn’t be able to experience anywhere else and writing expands your knowledge not only on a specific topic but you learn more about yourself, you’ll be surprised how far your imagination can take you as soon as your pen hits the paper.

I grew up in Greenville, South Carolina. Having had grown up in the south, I was always around people who are more traditional in viewpoints, especially when surrounding the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual/Transgender, Questioning, and more community. I received my education at a high school where no one hesitated to throw around extremely derogatory terms. Throughout my schooling I had found close friends who had expressed their feelings of not fitting into their biological sex. Every time I heard them talk about their feelings I felt my heart sinking. I knew it was not fair. I found myself constantly feeling their pain. Feeling all their fear, anger, and sadness along with them because I knew that they lived in fear of people finding out who they really were and what their reactions might be. It broke my heart that they were forced into constantly fearing for their safety.

There are three words that keep me going every day, which are “Keep Moving Forward” these words are part of a classic quote by Walt Disney, which spawned the film Walt Disney’s Meet the Robinsons. These words were used as acts of comfort as throughout my schooling journey I often had myself wondering about the days before. I have conjured up to the conclusion that the past is series of ‘whys’ as in ‘why did this happen?’ and that people often dwell on their past and sometime attempt to re-create it. Throughout my schooling years I have often looked back and asked ‘why?’ as I tried to open the door into my bygone days and try to solve my question. It only so happened a week before graduating that I got a wakeup call onto the fact that I was opening all the wrong doors. Now I am opening a new door into the future creating new experiences and friendships. Throughout my last week of school, I sat in my English class 5 times, for 45 mins each, to reflect on how literature has shaped my values, attitudes and beliefs in my years of education and has shaped the person that I am today.

In school, I used to loathe the icebreakers that involved saying an interesting fact about oneself. I would fumble around and iterate some unoriginal sentiment about my favorite color or animal and leave without actually providing substance about myself. This all changed after I lost the vision in my right eye and could tell people about the three-inch needle that pierces my eye multiple times every year. I thoroughly enjoy watching people squirm as I chuckle and explain the process.

Every school has these four main academic subjects: English, Math, Science, History/Geography. The class I like the most in my eighth grade school year is History. This is because we get to learn about different time periods, different people, different religions, and so much more. We don't just sit in class and read out of a textbook. We get to do fun activities to help us understand more. While we work, we talk to our teacher and have funny and weird conversations. We make fun of each other and have a good laugh. I'm always excited to go to History class.

A brief overview and background: I went on a mission trip with my church Youth group to a deaf village in Jamaica. While we were there, we built dorm rooms and classrooms for the children living there. The impact that trip had on my life was amazing. It made me realize just how good we have it in the United States of America.When I am hungry or upset and I didn't get the newest trend clothing, I always think back to the children down in Jamaica. They literally have nothing. At the deaf village, all the children are foster kids. Their parents gave them away because they did not want to deal with their disabilities. I have never taken my parents for granted again, because of what we have and the relationships we have in the U.S.are very precious, We are a very blessed nation.

In our everyday lives, we tend to categorize people because of their race, culture, their socioeconomic status, and judge people by their looks, age, ability, and gender. When I was working at a daycare past summer of grade 9, I met one Chinese girl who was around 4-5 years old. One time I witness her classmates making fun of her because she has a asian accent when she talks in English, her eyes are small, her mom works at a restaurant with low pay. Even during break, I would always see her sitting in a corner all alone, while others were having fun. Therefore, I took the courage to talk to her. Throughout the conversation, I realized that she was mad at herself because she has a different race from others, language barrier between her and her classmates and she was ashamed of her mother working at a restaurant because other parents work at a higher pay occupation.

On August 2017, I started my freshman year of college. My first class was FIQWS 10108, the sun was shining bright, as I was nervous to start my first day as a college student. We first went over the syllabus and discussed what was expected for the class. I was shocked to find out that we would be writing three lengthy papers. I’ve never been an excellent writer so I was worried about writing the papers. My fears soon diminished as my professor began guiding us through the writing process.

She compared her life to a hurricane, a natural disaster that took everything in its path and destroy any shred of light in her life. Thus, the weeks turned into years of regressive behavior that led her to believe that she was not good enough to truly be herself. She only allowed herself to be her mother’s puppet, an item only used for public occasions, for if she ever became her own self, she would be outcasted. Yet, during those times I recall a shout in the cave of darkness, a murmured voice saying: Carpe Diem. Seize the day. My brother used those words when I was little —he was an extroverted fellow who vocalized whatever he felt because he was confident in whom he was. Nevertheless, I was an introverted, insecure, and self-conscious kid who was silenced by the public because they scared me. Fear ruled my actions. Fear ruled my mind. Fear ruled me; yet, my brother’s words rang a certain alarm in my head when I grew up. Thus, I realized that my individuality was stolen. My silence was bought, and my uniqueness was used as a weapon for society’s cruel expectations. I noticed that the world has so many beliefs, ideas, and aspirations that I wanted my own drum to beat in my own rhythm.

Every religion has different beliefs. I personally am Catholic, so we believe in some things that other people do not. Since I am Catholic we believe in having Godparents; it is almost like having a second set of parents, but they do not live under the same roof. Having Godparents is like having backup parents. If your parents pass away the Godparents would raise you and take care of you. Godparents are the ones who are supposed to help children understand things about God and their religion. They also make sure children are going down the right path in life. Sometimes I still question: What is the correct path in life? There are a variety of different paths that I could take, but sometimes I do not know which one is the perfect one; this is when my Godparents help me discover which path is the one for me.

Over the history of this country, many families across the globe have come to the U.S. in hopes of a better life. My family was one of the many that decided to leave our home country and come to the United States. We never realistically imagined coming to America, but when we did, it was a real dream come true. Knowing I was coming to this country as a student was especially exciting for me personally. We were so excited about this new adventure and the opportunities we would have, despite the many challenges that lay ahead. Two of the obstacles I had to overcome, were having to learn a new language, and build new relationships.

Since arriving on campus, I have been asked how I came to Miami several times. Some would say that coming here is destiny, but I disagree. Psalm 139 says that before I was born, “in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them” (NKJV, Psalms 139:16). While there are several main components about which I will write, I keep coming back to the fact that God placed me here.

I remember where it all started; I sat on the guard stand of an empty pool with a nagging mother texting my phone and time to kill. It was the summer before my senior year, the summer before I would make the most important decision of my life so far. I stared down at the blank list of schools in front of me; where to start? I visited a few campuses, and my mother put a few bugs in my ear, one for her alma mater, and the other for two historically black schools (HBCUs). I wrote the first down, placing it low on my list, but there was hesitation with the other two. My entire academic career have been in predominantly white environments; how would I navigate a majority black space?

Looking in the mirror at the actual physical presentation of myself, I investigated what other people view when they looked upon me. At that moment, I began to realize what the features are interpreted as. My hair is pulled up and tight, various people have suspected military, but I have never been enlisted. My glasses and crooked teeth would suggest that my parents were low income, no corrective surgery or braces for me. My body image would be identified, instantly by women, as having children and I do have two sons. After one eight-pound boy and the other almost ten-pound baby my body did not return to its original dimensions, there was no weight trainer or nutritionist for me. My calloused hands will tell anyone that I am a blue-collar worker and the ring on my left tells them that I am married. Progressing through college and beyond will be my way out of the shell that society has created me in, it will be my golden door to freedom.

Despite my intellect, most colleges would classify me as a mundane, unimpressive person. I'm a white, heterosexual, Christian male: the most stereotypical example of a privileged person in America. I have experienced privilege, but I have also experienced hardships and inequitable stereotypes.