Reflection Paper

On September 6, 2017, I were documented for an incident that involved a University Housing policy violation. I was charged with violating the University Housing Alcohol 1.2 policy. With my violation, came consequences. I met with The Residence Conduct Coordinator to discuss my actions and came to the conclusion that I would have to schedule a meeting with The Campus Alcohol and Drug Education Center (CADEC) and with that, a reflection paper.

Learning something new is something to strive for. However, are all the lessons we learn good ones? After all, there are two sides to every coin. A lot of the times it is easy to find the bad lessons learned but what about the good? Well, that takes a lot more thought. Ironically these were the thoughts running through my head that day, that dreadful day which is permanently burned into the back of my mind.

I’m thankful the Holy Spirit kick started me to take this class. The spiritual growth from this class, learning to depend more on the scriptures for revelation of the truth, and that Scripture is Sufficient for every area of my life is very important. Many don’t know or haven’t learned how Scripture for those struggling in life, who quest wisdom, or desire God’s direction will change their lives. The Bible instructive and corrective ways helps individuals, groups, and counselors focus on sharing Scripture and speaking the truth in love (Babler, 10). The need for Scripture is evident because of all that occurs daily in the world. Thanks to Social Media, TV, and Radio Broadcast we are exposed to 20% Good and 80% Negative. This informative information we read, here, and see is a cause of some crisis that is a direct result of sin (Rom. 6:23). Some sin we are responsible for directly, sin of society, or related to a significant crisis that’s Not A Direct result of our own personal sin (Job 1-2). Biblical counselors should walk with, serve, love, encourage, and help people regardless of the type of sin or crises (1 Thess. 5:14, Babler, 11). Chaos, pain, fear, anxiety, loss, hopelessness, trauma, and death are initial responses when a crisis occurs. These are opportunities to glorify and honor God in the mist of these trying times. We learn to trust, depend on the Lord, grow our relationship with GOD, love, and serve others while ministering Scripture. We must ask for wisdom

For the past four weeks, I have had the opportunity to participate in the Reading Rainbow SUN program at Fabian. The SUN program has been very interesting and educating experience, however, I have only been with the children four times. An hour and a half for four weeks makes it difficult to learn about a child’s home life, growth, and even their full personality. I am still trying to learn their names let alone their life stories, but have been able to gain some insight. I have been able to observe many students through this experience, however, for this paper, I will focus on two: JJ, KB.

I believe in a metaphorical home. Though I may be young and have so much ahead of me and I can’t be coddled for the rest of my life, I truly believe in letting myself fall back into that someone that is there for me. Whether it be a significant other, family or a friend, It’s always comforting to have that special someone. Someone that’s there when I need them most, that is willing to show me some tough love, and even just to have them in the back of my mind. Having that one thing to pick me back up when I fall apart is like a safety net when I just need to fall back.

During my first few years in the United States, my family was constantly moving between New York and Florida because my dad was searching for long-term employment. My family resided in a basement during our two year stay in Staten Island, New York. Living in a basement was very tough because there was no natural light and the space was very cramped for a family of five. Living in a basement was also tough during the winter because basements are often poorly insulated, which kept the basement quite cold during the winter. My family later moved to Florida for a couple of years after living in New York and we have resided in Orlando, Florida for about twenty years now. I started school in Florida at the age of five and when I first attended elementary school, I was in ESOL classes. ESOL classes help teach the English language to students that are not born in the United States (like myself) or to students which English is not their native language. I took these classes from kindergarten up to the fourth grade when I passed an ESOL exit exam. I first learned of this news during a parent-teacher conference when my teacher informed my parents and I that I had passed out of my ESOL classes and this was one of my proudest moments because of how happy it made my parents. As I got older, these experiences taught me the importance of helping those who are in need to put a smile on someone’s face and to provide the hope that things will get better for those going through rough patches in

As I was trying to figure out the perfect way to sum up this semester, I stumbled upon this quote by Steve Southerland, “I believe in process. I believe in four seasons. I believe that winter's tough, but spring's coming. I believe that there's a growing season. And I think that you realize that in life, you grow. You get better.” This quote really spoke to me because this semester has not been a walk in the park. As a class we all went through some ups and downs. We were challenged in a number of ways but in the end I think we all really “grew”. For many of us we experienced a tough season of life, but I think as a class we really worked together to lift each other up and come out successfully.

Change is apart of everyday life, it is inevitable no matter what we do, but it is our choice as people on if we want these changes to be negative or positive. A few years back, I made a promise to myself that as I progress through life, I will always try my best to change for the better and fix myself in areas where I fall behind, but not everyone makes the choice to be better. Some make a choice that affects who they are in a negative way as well as hurting those closest to them, someone I used to hang out made that decision and that caused me to change my perspective on him.

Everyone at some point in their life has had the dream where they are falling, but they never actually hit the ground. This dream is symbolic of life. Regardless of how far you fall you never hit the ground. A friend of mine, currently in pharmacy school, confides in me about how he wishes that he had done things my way, the right way as he calls it. Nevertheless, I did not grasp what he meant so one day, I implored him to explain. According to him, the “right,” way is by not failing classes the first time, finishing college in 4 years, and be smart about taking the MCAT. Essentially, not screwing up the first time, so you can continue with your goals the first time around instead of getting older and wasting time. While my friend may have been right in some aspects, my personal experiences have taught me that there really is no right way. However, life does not ultimately work out the way one imagines. You do fail, you do break down, you are frightened and you learn to get up regardless of the circumstances.

What does it mean to be human ? i was a loser full of weakness. I guess were all born unbeknownst to the world and we learn the lessons we need to along the way i was about 10 or so when reality first hit me, i lost the friends closest to me i was broken them memory of them forever dwindling upon me. About 60 percent of my junior high school experience as a freshman entailed sobbing and finding ways to miss out on school. Day after day this similar routine seemed to repeat itself over and over again sob and feel sorry for myself drown myself in the what i was feeling. Until i took a long hard look at myself what i've become to what i use to be and i got tired.. tired of all of it , tired of feeling sad tired of all it, tired of feeling sorry for myself. So i picked myself back up on my own two feet without the help of anyone and so began my eternal struggle to overcome my weakness.This moment, these moments are what impacted my life the most.

At a young age money, politics, or first world problems never occurred to me. Sadly, as I grew older all of these things hit me at once. From when I started my first job at fifteen, this thing called “taxes” took money out of my check. At that age, my mother showed me all of the bills she has to deal with such as, house payments, insurance, and car payments. My entire world was turned around on that subject. This led me to start caring about America's crises and why it's so stressful being an adult. After bringing a kid into this cold harsh world, this subject concerned me beyond belief. A flash of the real world hit me in the face hard. Starting with the little things, this is how the 2017 presidential election changed my view on this world and my world as well.

I was one of those people that always had a competitive mind set, whether it came to being in class or outside of it. I had always wanted to be on top and would do anything to get to that spotlight. It was the beginning of seventh grade, this would the first year that I would be able to participate in a school sponsored sport and be a part of a team, which was something I looked forward to for quite a while. I had been running cross country since I was in third grade, but never competitively. Before seventh grade, I ran for a program outside of the schools league for two years, training hard everyday with my teammates. I had not participated in any races that meant anything in serious, nor counted towards anything, so I did ever experience true competition. Through running everyday, I learned new techniques to add to help aid my running and use my body and mind more efficiently. Not everyone made the team, so having some background in the sport and being in shape gave me an advantage over other runners. Soon after trying out for the school team, I was told that I had what it takes and made the team. This meant that I had to start going to practices every day and working out with the new team, something that I was already used to from my previous training group.

Knowing your failing is a challenge to overcome, but feeling like you are broken is an unexplainable feeling. Now after pushing through my struggles, I believe that anything is possible if you persevere through challenges.

Emotional distress, at that moment, far exceeded the past physical pain which I had endured, where, as my body fought for survival, my mind yearned for death. Bound by judgemental onlooking eyes, I stood in the grounds of my school, where they consequently studied me for a sign of vulnerability; begging for me to collapse into my self-fabricated darkness. Like a spineless criminal, I slumped, trembling irrepressibly in the middle of the secluded balcony, where I implored myself to “stop” as I yet again had a crippling anxiety attack which incarcerated my whole body. It was punishing enough to wake up in the mornings, though faced with the immobilizing guilt that my therapist had contacted my parents concerning my suicidal ideation, evaporated my self-esteem. Tears filled my eyes like an overflowing river and cascaded down my face, though freezing in the silence. Proceeding to coerce myself repetitively to “stop it”, as I repulsed that mental illness was the corruptive reality of my life, I cowered as the flashbacks uncontrollably replayed in my mind. I recollected the words that any mother would dread to divulge to their child; that “sometimes I think that it would be better that you were gone, because then, you wouldn’t have to feel this pain”, contradicting this by expressing to me that “I know it’s selfish, but you can’t leave me”.

After I take ACC 221 and ACC 222, this semester I decide to take ACC 321. The name of the class is intermediate financial accounting. Before I took the class, I heard the class is the most difficult class among accounting class because of there is a lot of materials to cover in very short time. There are around 15 chapters to cover in a semester so that we have to learn a chapter in a week because we have to use some classes to take the exams and quizzes. And if I want to learn this course well and get a good grade as what I did in ACC221 and ACC222. I will have to read the book, listen to the teacher carefully, do the quiz well, prepare for the exam well and finish all the homework online. It is very important to