Reflection Paper : ' The Bride '

2912 Words12 Pages
Nicolas Krause
COM 440
Reflection Paper Assignment
Sasheen Mobley

The bride to be, a forty-year-old graphic designer was about to be married for the first time, to a businessman. At her pastor 's suggestion, she and her fiancé filled out a questionnaire to measure the strengths and weaknesses of their relationship. 165 questions derived from John Gottman’s Four Horseman, on their personalities, backgrounds, values and aspirations. “How did you answer this question?” She asked him in the car afterward. And this? And this? Before the ride home ended, they had broken their engagement. This example of how powerful reflections is is a testament to John Gottman’s work. Whenever Mike McManus the founder of Marriage Savers, an organization that couples with churches to work with marriages, retells this story, audiences roar in approval. This is a success story, he says, and the kind of process we need more of. A process that will uncover any possibility of long-term incompatibility, and thus spare to be marriage partners the expense and pain of a seemingly indivertible divorce. Others, making war on the divorce rates in the United States, do not favor such a test, but they endorse teaching basic marriage skills to all engaged couples.
The emotional health, social costs and economic costs associated with marriage conflict and family dissolution—including delinquency, poverty, depression and crime, and especially the harm done to children have been well documented. For some,
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