Reflection of My Attachment Styles

Each attachment style is divided along two dimensions – the fear of abandonment and the fear of closeness. Bartholomew and Horowitz define fear of abandonment as the model of self which describes the belief of an individual to be either “worthy of love and support or not” (1991). They also define fear of closeness as the model of other which describes an individual’s

Individual attachment style and its effects on adult romantic relationships were examined. The hypothesis of this literature review was that insecure attachment style would negatively affect the overall dynamic of adult romantic relationships while secure attachment would promote positive and healthy romantic relationships. Empirical studies looking at attachment style and relationship issues such as one’s views of self and others, communication, sexual intimacy, childhood family dynamic and God were evaluated. Reviews of studies were in line with the hypothesis indicating that insecure attachment does negatively affect the overall dynamic of romantic

The insecure/preoccupied anxious attachment style preoccupied, and they seek approval from their partners. They tend to extremely clingy; consequently, pushing the person away with their self-doubts and insecurities. Individuals who have fearful/avoidant attachment style tend to have suffered abuse or sexual abuse, and they want close relationships, nonetheless they cannot bring themselves to be intimate with other people.

There are several different attachment styles. Secure is an attachment style when an individual feels confident and has trust in their relationship. Avoidant is an attachment style when an individual is unsure about getting into in a relationship. Anxious attachment style is where individuals demand closeness and have trust issues.

As I was going through the different attachment styles to try to categorize which one best suited me, I felt that secure attachment style was my style. I believe that I am worthy of love and capable of getting love, while others are willing and able to love me. I feel like I am the friend that everyone comes to talk to about their problems because they depend on me for emotional strength because I, myself, am intuitive with my own emotions. I am not fearful of feeling upset, happy, anger, and more. For example, my sister always comes to me about her problems with her boyfriend, whether if he has done something to upset and vice versa, and asks me for advice on what she should do in order to resolve the problem; therefore, I try to give her

Attachment theory is an emotional bond that connects one person to another. Attachment theory deals with intimacy in relationships and the impact an attachment can have across a person’s lifespan. Attachment theory usually focuses on the relationships between a child and a parent/caregiver or between partners. John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth are responsible for the creation of attachment theory after they began to work on mother-infant interactions. There were three categories that were formed due to their findings; Secure, Insecure, Anxious attachment with 3 sub categories avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized. According to the article on Attachment style and the Cognitive Representation of Communication Situation attachment theory is associated specifically with communicative behavior in relationships. The bond between a child and mother is the primary force of infant development as per Bowlby and Ainsworth.

Although, I relate to some aspects of both secure and ambivalent attachment styles, I believe that my anxiety has caused me to mainly have an ambivalent attachment style. At a young age, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that has caused me to be timid and nervous in relationships. As someone with an ambivalent attachment style, I find it difficult to maintain a clear view of self, put myself in new social settings, and express myself around people. Even though I know that the Lord wants His followers to let go of worry and fellowship with one another, I feel held back by my attachment style and nerves. I do not believe that my attachment style originated as a result of limited independence during childhood,

Securely attached children are confident that their mothers would be able to satisfy their needs. These children used their mothers as a point of reference so they can comfortably explore their surroundings, and they seek their mothers in times of distress (Main, & Cassidy, 1988). Consequently, the avoidant children would not use their mothers to explore their environment. These infants also would not seek their mothers during times of distress. Overall, the avoidant children were independent both physically and emotionally (Behrens, Hesse, & Main, 2007). Infants become avoidant when their attachment figures are unavailable during times of emotional distress. Contrarily, the infants with ambivalent attachment style would demonstrate dependent

I knew that I was insecurely attached, but I really struggled to understand why for several weeks. I have two parents who love me very much. When I was very young, they practically doted on me and gave me more than enough attention. They fulfilled my needs and my wants. I haven’t experienced any traumatic life events that would have changed my attachment style. So I was left wondering, how and why am I insecurely attached? What could have happened in my early childhood to cause this insecure attachment.

Attachment theory emphasizes the importance of parent’s capability to offer a secure base for their children to discover the world ( Kottler & Shepard 2015). My own attachment style is a secure attachment style; secure attachment style refers to the idea that infants who couldn’t count on their mother being consistently available would cry when their mother left their sight but quickly calm down when their mother came back and pick them up ( Kottler & Shepard 2015).

Attachment style is a profound effect not only on our emotional development, but also upon the health of our relationships. A child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. It is important to be aware of attachment during infancy and early childhood in order to raise secure, independent and empathetic children. A secure, trusting attachment to parents during childhood forms the basis for secure relationships and independence as adults. It affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress to, sadly, how they end. That is why recognizing our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship. An attachment pattern is

I would like to think that I have a secure attachment style, which I do in certain instances. Of course that is my endeavor, to have a secure attachment style, which everybody should try to do also; however, I find myself exhibiting a mixture of two other attachment styles. The first style I have a propensity to exhibit is the disorganized attachment style, the second is the avoidant attachment style. While I do not think I am as bad as I was before, I still struggle with the two. Taking this course has helped me put a name to the characteristics I show.

Attachment styles affect relationships and how they function. Each of the different styles has different levels of trust, intimacy, satisfaction, and commitment among other things. When people have secure attachments they tend to look for a relationship where there are high levels of trust, interdependence, commitment, and satisfaction. The opposite is true for people who have insecure attachments (Simpson, 1990, p 977). Emotional relationships between romantic partners are also affected by attachment style.

The one attachment style that caught my eye was ambivalent attachment in the category of angry dependent. My sister tends to get very angry and selfish when certain tasks do not go her way, as we all can. I would categorize her as angry dependent, but not to the extreme. For instance, when her and her boyfriend get into a disagreement, she automatically blames him for the cause of the argument, wants him to fix the situation, and also figure out how to make everything better because she did nothing wrong. My sister tends to play the victim, sometimes, when her and her boyfriend get into an argument. My sister tends to not be direct when a scenario is upsetting her and decides to keep pushing that anger further down and further down until a

Although there is no significant finding about the attachment style to friends, it is possible there is a slight error. A future study about the attachment style to friends is recommended is most attachment syle are usually to parents and caregiver. A limitation in the test is the administration of the test, where the participants are asked to immediately answer the test and pass in completion. A standarized procedure of administation should be followed next time. Also, since the topic is quite controversial, a private place is a must.