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Reflective Essay: Sexual Assault Woman

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I know what you're thinking. "Emery, tell us who did this to you." I'm not going to, but not for the reasons you think. Look at every sexual assault case that has been publicized in the past five years. Look at the reality, like the fact that less than 10% of men who sexually assault women actually receive a sentencing. I'm not here to be another statistic. I'm here to incite change, and I don't think that telling you the name of a boy who didn't rape me, but definitely degraded me, is going to incite the type of change our society needs. No, I didn't say no. No, I didn't push him away. But every single part, nonverbally and in some ways verbally, said no. My body language, my excuses, the way I felt limp when it happened, said no. But there …show more content…

Ask, "Is this okay?"
Consent needs to be explicit. Body language means nothing, although physical cues do help in suggesting how comfortable you are with the situation. However, It's best to say it outright.
Just because you've had sex with this person before does not mean you can do it again. Consent is necessary, regardless of how many times you've had sex with the person before.
You can't assume an individual wants to have sex with you because they are known to be sexually active. They're celebrating their sexuality, and you are not entitled to be a part of that celebration unless they make that clear to you. Instead of teaching individuals what to do after a sexual assault, we should be teaching individuals how to escape the event all together. Here are some things I wish I had done:
Remind oneself that you are not obligated to have sex with anyone if you don't want to, if you aren't in the mood, for whatever reason– they are ALL valid.
Tell someone. Leave the room. Find someone, anyone, that will make it difficult for a sexual situation to occur. For example, if you're upstairs with an individual who wants to have sex with you, and you don't want to have sex, leave. Go downstairs, go for a walk, call a …show more content…

We aren't doing enough, and it's time for us, as a community to step up, stop sugarcoating it, and incite positive change through conversation. Why the hell are we teaching girls to not get raped when we should be teaching boys to not rape at all? By making sex a taboo topic at Jesuit we are 1) perpetuating rape culture and 2) allow students to be immature and uninformed on a very serious and very real issue present in our world. When sexual energy is repressed, it exposes itself in horrible ways. Pornography addiction, sexual assault, and generally sexist behaviors are all examples of this. I don't want another girl–or boy–to feel like I did: like they can't say no. I'm tired of being censored. This is not a political issue– its a humanity issue. I want "my pussy, my choice, my body, my voice" broadcasted everywhere. I want students to be educated one this more. This isn't a unit in a religion class, it's an aspect of our everyday lives. Sexism is deeply instituted in the United States, and Jesuit likes to pretend that one semester of a peace and justice course is all that students need to hear in order to combat that, but we need so much more than that. We are highly sexual beings and we need to stop neglecting that. The gift of sex, like anything in life, can be abused. We need to learn to engage in it safely and consensually. We also need to

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