Reflective Essay: The First Cycle Of Domestic Violence

4. The Calm before the Storm – Some people might call this the “honeymoon period”. During this time, the relationship can seemingly get back on track. Sometimes counseling is involved, or therapy. The abuser will often be more attentive and “caring” in order to “prove” the abuse will not last. However, this cycle feeds directly back into the tension building. This can be hard to spot before a repeat incident

Tension Control: Children cannot maintain physical aggression indefinitely and will eventually begin to regain control and rationality. At this stage they may become withdrawn, confused, frightened or apologetic. Staff members need to reopen lines of communication, reassure the child and form a verbal contract with them, letting them know that if they remain calm they will not need to be restrained again. Within safe judgement the child can be allowed to make their own choices while staff remain fully in control should another violent outburst occur. The more therapeutic communication initiated, the quicker the child will regain total

Abuse can have many different meanings, there is one in particular that takes control in many Americans relationship, “physical maltreatment” (Abuse). Sadly there is an increasing amount of young adults going through an abusive relationship or were in one. Many of the people that become abusers consider violence as a normal behavior because they have witnessed it on a daily basis. They than begin to mistreat everyone that comes in his or her way. An abuser is frequently interested in controlling their victims. An abuser’s behavior is usually manipulating, in order to make their victims

Signs of abuse include, but are not limited to, controlling nature, resistant to chance, dismissive, and manipulative behavior. Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal state that the most telling sign of abuse in the relationship is fearing the other partner (Smith and Segal, 2006). If a woman is afraid of her partner then she may be in an abusive relationship. Men that are abusing women will tear her down and make her feel like she is worth nothing and that she does not deserve any better than an abusive man. An abuser will take away control from her and make her feel worthless. Segal and Smith also state that “abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you” (Smith and Segal, 2006). An abuser wants to make their victim afraid and they will do certain things to make sure that the victim does not leave. It is also noted that just because there are not any physical signs of abuse, such

It is common for parents and their children to have disagreements and to have arguments but sometimes these disagreements can turn into abuse. Children usually use violence to try to “control or bully them” (Parenting and Child Health, n.d.) This violence usually occurs when the child “frightens, threatens or physically hurts them. It can involve using abusive language, pushing, shoving, kicking, throwing things, or threatening with knives or other weapons” ((Parenting and Child Heathen’s.) Children may abuse their parents due to the normalization of that parent getting abused by the other parent within their household. The child may use the parent that abusing the other parent as a model for the way they should act towards their parent as well and justify their actions simply as something that they observed in their household. The violence that children commit against their parents affects that subsystem because it leaves it broken. There is a strain within the parent and child relationship that forms a direct result of constant conflict and abuse between the child and parent. Sometimes, in child-child relationships, an older sibling may become “more aggressive” with their younger sibling because of the abuse that they have witnessed and been exposed to. (Fantuzzo, Mohr, 1999) The children can become socialized by the parents to believe that

Violence begins at a very young age. Even if children are not exposed to an abusive household, they still experience violence in cartoons and toys. Children of abused homes learn that violence is used to resolve conflicts. Boys grow up more likely to be abusers and girls grow up more likely to be victims of abusive relationships.

I would shut my eyes because I knew what was coming. And before I shut my eyes, I held my breath, like a swimmer ready to dive into a deep ocean. I could never watch when his hands came toward me; I only patiently waited for the harsh sound of the strike. I would always remember his eyes right before I closed my own: pupils wide with rage, cold, and dark eyebrows clenched with hate. When it finally came, I never knew which fist hit me first, or which blow sent me to my knees because I could not bring myself to open my eyes. They were closed because I didn’t want to see what he had promised he would never do again. In the darkness of my mind, I could escape to a paradise where he would never reach me. I would find again the haven where I

Did you know that every 9 seconds a women is being beaten or assaulted? It is known that around the world, at least one and every three women has been beaten into having sex or some rudely thing in her entire lifetime. There are many cases where the abuser is a family member. Domestic violence is that the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sex crime, and different abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. It is a virulent disease touching people in each community, notwithstanding age, economic standing, race, religion, status or academic background. Violence against girls is usually amid showing emotion abusive and dominant behavior, and so is a component of a scientific pattern of dominance and

Domestic abuse in the United States is a large-scale and complex social and health problem. The home is the most violent setting in America today (Lay, 1994). Sadly enough, the majority of people who are murdered are not likely killed by a stranger during a hold-up or similar crime but are killed by someone they know. Not surprisingly, the Center for Disease Control and prevention has identified interpersonal violence as a major public health problem (Velson-Friedrich, 1994). Current estimates suggest that three to four million women are the victims of physical abuse by their intimate partners (Harris & Cook, 1994). According to the FBI, some form of domestic violence occurs in half of the homes in the United States at least once a

Every year in the United States, One in four women are victims of the domestic violence; however, this is only based on what has been reported to the department of justice (Stahly 2008). While men are also victims of domestic violence, women are more often the victims. Moreover, 90% of domestic violence is male initiated. In severe cases domestic violence ends with victims being murdered. More specifically, domestic violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in the United States in 2007, and 70% of those killed were females (CDC 2012). Many people think that victims have the option of leaving and many people blame victims for putting up with the abuse; what many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers, these reasons include, isolation, having children bounding them with the abuser and lack of financial support. "It 's never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when a prison gets shut down," says Dr. Steve Maraboli (qtd from web). Whether a victim stays or leaves their abuser, the outcomes of both situations are not always as easy as many people predict. In some situations, the outcomes of leaving may be very dangerous for both the victim and her children.

Domestic violence is a crime that occurs regularly within the United States. It claims millions of victims each year. There is not a specific cause to establish why domestic violence occurs. However, it has been documented that domestic violence is a product of physical, emotional, sexual, psychological, and any other forms of torture or torment that the particular abuser wishes to employ to gain control or power over their victims (Gosselin, 2005). Due to the complexity of this crime, many criminologists and socialologists have studied its causes and the effects in order to determine social policies and additional theories to better understand the causation of domestic violence. The social policies and theories that are developed from

The Battered Women Syndrome is a series of characteristics in women who are physically and psychologically abused by an important dominant male in their lives. These women learn helplessness and dependency; sometimes these characteristics originate from childhood. According to Dr. Lenore E. Walker, a woman must experience two cycles, before she can be labeled a “battered woman”. The two cycles are called the “cycle of violence”. This cycle leads to the feeling that the abuse will never stop. It almost becomes natural. Sometimes the relationships will be calm, and the abuser will apologize for what happened. This part is called the “honeymoon cycle”, but at other points in the cycle the tension and

On Monday, while working at my internship, I had to interview a man who got arrested for domestic violence over the weekend. The defendant was housed in receiving, not in the K block where they keep the crazies, so the way the defendant acted came as an immediate surprise. I instructed him over to the bench where I do my interviews, and immediately he started ranting all about how he was not guilty, telling me all about his case, details which I can’t know. The defendant would however stop talking about the case when I told him to, but as soon as another opportunity presented itself, he went right back to talking about it. At one point, the inmate even stood up and took off his shirt to show me the marks on him from the domestic dispute he was brought in for. My responsibility was to keep the interview on track as well as keeping the inmate under control, and while I got all the information needed, I believe the situation could have been handled better.

The two theories I feel that best describes the issues that lead to domestic violence would be the social exchange and social learning theory. The reason being they both explain why an individual would continue to stay in an abusive relationship, either they feel trapped, or they mistake the negative outcomes as a positive solution. These theories are related in a sense; if the recipient of abuse continues to accept defeat without standing up for themselves, they will continuously be treated in that manner which gives the other party the reassurance that the abuse is not affecting their spouse in a negative way that would indicate they will leave. The relationships in these stages are based on a person’s ideology that they need a trophy spouse, someone that complements their lifestyle and not their heart. References

Domestic violence is a global issue which impacts many individuals in numerous ways. To gain a detailed understanding of both the aggressor and victims of domestic violence I chose to exam the psychological and environmental aspects that may influence this continuous behavior that coincides with the continual cycle of violence.