Relational Approach to Counselling

Perhaps the most influential explanation of attachment was presented by John Bowlby who began developing his ideas in the 1940s. Bowlby was commissioned by the World Health Organisation to investigate whether young children were likely to be harmed if they are separated from their mothers in the early years. (Hayes, 1996). Bowlby (1951) reported that infants possesses an innate need to attach to one main attachment figure (this was usually the mother). According to Hayes (1996), this is a special relationship which is qualitatively different from the relationship they form with any other kind of person. He described this as the process of monotropy; however, Bowlby did not deny that babies formed lots of attachments. (Bailey et al. 2008).

Empathy is a two way process, its about trying to fully understand what your client is saying and feeling and also showing your understanding to your client.

The attachment style that an individual exhibits as an infant can affect their adult romantic relationships. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. The ability to recognize one 's attachment can help someone to understand their strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.

This essay will explore the counselling relationship along with the benefits and limitations as well as discussing other factors that have an important impact in relation to the outcome of counselling. Counselling is an interpersonal relationship between the client and qualified therapist, the relationship involves communicating with the client and using skills to explore the client's feelings. The counselling/ therapeutic relationship can be used in all types of counselling such as psychodynamic, humanistic, behavioural, person centred and cognitive therapy. As mental health disorders increase so does the need to deliver effective counselling, which means that the therapeutic relationship is more crucial than ever. (Miller, Hubble, Duncan and Wampold 2010; Norcross and Lambert 2011).

The attachment theory is a theory proposed by John Bowlby. The theory basically states that infants need to be attached to someone in order to have successful relationships as they grow older. Bowlby says, “Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space”

The term ‘attachment’ is used by psychologists who study the child’s early relationships. An attachment is a unique emotional bond normal between a child and an adult. A theorist called John Bowlby (1970-90) had a relation to the attachment theory. In 1950s John identified that when children and

The main focus of this essay has to be on the three ‘core conditions’, as utilised by the counsellor to promote a positive movement in their client’s psychology. They are intended for maintaining a focus on the client’s personal growth, and detract from the therapist’s own outside world. The three core conditions are the professional apparatus or tool-kit of the therapist, and the use of each is a skill in itself but the combined forces of all three in an effective manner requires an abundance of skill or experience. These are, as have already been mentioned, congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy. They are separate skills but are intrinsically linked to each other. If used correctly, they can guide the client to a state of self-realisation, which could lead to the development of a healing process.

John Bowlby’s work in attachment has been the foundation when determining the attcahments and bonds that a child and parent may experience (Webb, 2011). According to Bowlby, “attachment” is referring to a lasting, mutual bond of affection that is dependent on an individual or more than one person (Webb, 2011). Establishing a secure attachment during infancy and early childhood is an important task of a parent or a caregiver. Not all parents or caregivers can provide their child with a secure attachment at this important in life due to various reasons. Since parents are the main providers in their child’s development of attachment, their lives and history has a great influence on their children’s lives.

One of the most important factors that affect child development is the relationship of the child with their primary caregiver. This is a tenet of developmental psychology known as attachment theory. John Bowlby, the creator of this theory, wanted to examine how early childhood experiences influence personality development. Attachment theory specifically examines infant’s reactions to being separated from their primary caregiver. Bowlby hypothesized that the differences in how children react to these situations demonstrates basic behavioral differences in infancy that will have consequences for later social and emotional development.

What is attachment theory and why is it an important aspect of intimate relationships and love? The attachment theory of love maintains that the degree and quality of attachments one experiences in early life influence one’s later relationships (Strong & Cohen, 2014). John Bowlby proposed that, based on infants interactions with caregivers, infants construct expectations about relationships in the form of internal working models- cognitive representations of themselves and other people that guide their processing of social information and behavior in relationships (Sigelman & Rider, 2015). This research was further elaborated on by Mary Ainsworth and colleagues, who believed there were three styles of infant attachment: secure, anxious or ambivalent, and avoidant.

John Bowlby’s work in attachment has been one of the foundational works when determining the level of attachments and bonds that a child and parent may experience (Webb, 2011). According to Bowlby, “attachment” is referring to a lasting, mutual bond of affection that is dependent on an individual or more than one person (Webb, 2011). Establishing a secure attachment during infancy and early childhood is an important task of a parent or a caregiver. Not all parents or caregivers can provide their child or children with a secure attachment at this important in life due to various reasons. Since parents are the main providers in their child’s development of attachment, their lives and history have a great influence on their children’s lives.

An infant with a secure attachment style has a natural bond with their parent, where they are able to trust them, at the same time leaving their side to discover and explore their surroundings. In an insecure/resistant attachment the relationship the child has with their mother or caregiver is very clingy, thus making them very upset once the caregiver is away. When the mother or caregiver is back they are not easily comforted and resist their effort in comforting them. In an insecure/avoidant attachment the infant is, “indifferent and seems to avoid the mother, they are as easily comforted by a stranger, as by their parent” (Siegler 2011, p.429). Lastly, the disorganized/disoriented attachment is another insecure attachment style in which the infant has no way of coping with stress making their behavior confusing or contradictory. Through these brief descriptions of the attachment theory, many researchers have defined the turning point in which each attachment definition can have an influence on one’s self esteem, well-being and their marital relationship.

As humans, building relationships between others is a form of connecting and communicating. It is a social situation that is experienced every day through the course of a lifetime. The initial relationship that is made is between the mother and the child. This bond that connects two people is known to be called attachment. The theory of attachment begins at birth, and from that, continuing on to other relationships in family, friends, and romance. Attachment is taught through social experiences, however the relationship with the mother and her temperament are the key factors in shaping the infants attachment type, which

Attachment is the foundation for a strong relationship between caregivers and children. Children usually become attached to the person who cares for them most often during their first year of life. There is secure and insecure attachment which can affect a child and their future.

Researchers have been looking at theories to show how important relationships are in people’s lives and attachment theory has allowed them to understand human behavior in a variety of ways. Feelings, such as anger and romantic love, can be directly correlated to the attachments received as a child.