Differences In A Long Distance Relationship And The Military

Being in the military takes dedication as well as devotion because it is a big commitment that one must follow through with. Rod Powers, a writer, states, “Before you join, recognize the fact that a stint in the military is not civilian employment. It's not just like having a regular job. You can't just get up and quit anytime you want to" (Powers). One must be patient because this is a responsibility Powers also states, “Along with not being able to quit, there is also the factor of being deployed for months. Soldiers may find themselves spending up to seven months out of every year deployed” (Powers). A soldier must be able to handle being separated from family and friends for a good amount of time. This separation can cause stress and anxiety between soldiers and their families. Bruce Bell, a psychiatrist, and Walter Schumm, an author, clarify that, "Returning from deployment can sometimes be stressful and disappointing" (Bell and Schumm). Soldiers can return home to problems concerning money, children, spouses, or other relatives. In addition to stress, soldiers and families also get anxious. Bell and Schumm also mention that, “Unpredictable timing can

Allen, E. S., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2010). Hitting home: Relationships between recent deployment, posttraumatic stress symptoms, and marital functioning for Army couples. Journal Of Family Psychology, 24(3), 280-288. doi:10.1037/a0019405

“Studies of OEF/OIF combat veterans have revealed that rates of PTSD are higher in deployed soldiers compared to non-deployed soldiers (Buchanan, C. et al., p.743).” Unfortunately, in some cases, military spouses are not fully aware of the symptoms for PTSD. Some feel powerless and unsure on what to do when symptoms begin damaging their relationship with their love one. Broadly speaking, military couples who are challenged with a deployment suffer more stress which may lead to PTSD when they do not know how to obtain support when needed, have lower income, and are not satisfied with the military and it's missions. Other factors that may dictate the degree of stress for military couples facing a deployment are income, education, and rank. Couples who have had prior military experience such as having military parents or serving a number of years preceding a deployment may adapt well to the demands of military life. Overall, relationship satisfaction may result if couples possess excellent communication and marital quality. Greater emphasis on military assistance has been to shown to reduce stress in couples, but spouses who perceive the military as being “less concerned” for them and their love one usually experience higher levels of stress. Also, unenthusiastic emotions toward the mission in the middle east can be related to greater stress in couples. “Negative attitudes toward the U.S. Missions in Iraq and Afghanistan were associated with more stress (Allen, E.

Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.

Two clichés: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. Which one of these two conflicting views is closer to the reality? As it turns out, it does not really matter that much since long distance relationships (LDR) suffer from exactly the same strengths and weaknesses as proximal relationships. Whether two people are going to have fulfilling relationship does not only depend on their geographical closeness. What matters is quality, not quantity. According to one expert on LDRs, "the majority of studies that have been done show no greater risk of an LDR breaking up than any other relationship (Guldner, 2004, p. 6)." An LDR relationship has the same likelihood of

The biggest challenge we face is finding harmony amongst our military obligations, our family obligations, military and civilian education, as well as mandatory training and operational deployments. Your family has to be your first priority. If you don’t get this right, nothing else will work well in your

As reported by Claire J. White, the author of International Review of Psychiatry journal, spousal deployment might be stressful and could lead into some psychological issues such as depression and anxiety. The anxiety is more than worrying about their husband condition in the middle of a combat, it’s also involving their uneasiness of being far from each other. As most of the deployment were not all due to a short period, it includes how the military spouse would likely to survive and continue the life without their husband at the side. These situations had all been depicted by Saslow in the Ten Letters, where Krissy and Doug were forced to split apart due to the deployment after 10 days they got married. This has put Krissy in a condition

In many ways, leaving the military can be like leaving a marriage -- you know it's over, but you miss the relationship; you miss working together towards a common goal. You feel all alone. Isolated.

The military lifestyle is simply one of a kind. Our military places enormous stress not only on each of its members, but on each of their families as well. Long periods of separation, lengthy training, and combat deployments affect those in the battlefield and their loved ones at home. Our military has changed forever after the infamous terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. With continuous, hateful threats from our enemies, the demands placed upon our service members have become even more pronounced. Tours have become longer and more frequent. Marriages to military members are constantly burdened with these conflicts. Despite these increased hardships with recent conflict in Afghanistan and Iraq, military marriages are becoming more resilient and are more likely to prevail.

Relationships for many are hard, rather they are long distance or not, but become even more complicated when the military is introduced into it. Being in a relationship with someone in the military can be hard, rather it is the waiting or distance, or the patience and strength that the relationship gains. Many military relationships end up not working out, but with some patience and persistence they can, if there is a want to. They can grow thanks to the military, or they can disappear. Many relationships don’t make it with time, but if they do they become stronger and gain a special bond (Vandevoorde 12). For so many, the troublesome times are worth it to be with the person that they love and want to spend their life with, for some, it is too much no matter how much they love each other and decide it is better to move on. For the people that want to stay in the relationship and spend their time together, it is a hard but satisfying.

MILITARY SPOUSES AND THE CHALLENGES OF MILITARY Military spouses role vary in ranks, from enlisted to officers they are all seen and approached in different ways because of the military rank his or her soldiers rank may be. “The role of the officer’s spouse encompasses a set of activities that are mostly traditional” (Harrell, 2001, p. 59). Officer’s spouses often are considered to be as elite as their soldier, depending on their rank, “in fact an officer’s wife becomes an extension of the officer” (Harrell, 2001, p. 61).

But what many people don't realize is that there are many negatives to marrying someone in the military too. For example, in a month he leaves for Japan for two years. That is nearly seven thousand miles away. Although i'll be able to visit periodically and he can occasionally take leave, we know that being separated halfway across the globe will be difficult and we will not see each other face to face for months. We also have basically no control over where he goes and for how long, so this can cause a major toll on our marriage. Many people also ask if i'm planning on stopping my education to be with him. And although I have strongly considered it, we have both decided that me finishing my degree is important and he encourages me everyday to keep

One way to accomplish this is through answering research questions related to military family life, such as “How do multiple deployments, multiple moves and other military lifestyle factors affect the development of attachment in military children?” and “What is the long-term impact on military children who have experienced multiple deployments, relocations and other life-disrupting events associated with military life?” As America continues to send service members to the Middle East in the midst of the longest military conflict in its history, gaining an understanding of the long-term impact on this generation of military children is crucial to aid in the development of programs and resources with the hope of ameliorating the challenges they have encountered. Additionally, the answers to these research questions may assist in identifying protective and risk factors and increase positive outcomes for these children as they grow into

Separation is an unwanted feeling I never wanted to exhibit and didn’t know how I would embrace the impact of anxiety and stress. As a military spouse, we are all convinced we would never be able to get a good job with having to relocate. A lot of people when they hear military wives, they assume we are stay at home wives and moms who don't work while our husbands are protecting our country, but none of that is reality. We so happen to be an independent woman who have our own aspirations in life as well. The question we get so much from people is why do you even work, why are you going to school? You don’t need to, you can live off his income. People seem to never understand us military wives are normal people as well and have goals

Basically, they can't hold hands, they can't hug, they can't kiss. Therefore, many people will rather breaking up instead of starting a long distance relationship.