Relatives / Classification Essay

892 Words Jan 17th, 2009 4 Pages
Who are these people?

“God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends”
Ethel Watts Mumford



Anyone who is lucky enough to be a part of a big family and is able to spend time with them should consider the individual personalities that collectively define their family’s dynamics. Each member has different traits and experiences that make them who they are. Over the years I have attended countless family dinners and events and have taken note of a few extreme characteristics that set some of them apart. We all have similar interests, but the way people interact with each other (specifically at family gatherings), is indicative of their true natures. I have used my recollections of the behaviors I observed to
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Whiners are easy to weed out because of their glum expressions and wads of used tissues in tow. Their sole purpose seems to be simply to drain the life out of everyone, all the time. Whiners are different from the bigheads in that they are always looking for help, yet they appear to share a similar weakness for being at the center of attention. Courtesy isn’t typical of whiners; if they need to vent at two o’clock in the morning, they don’t see a problem with picking up their phone and calling you, and if a whiner wants to have an hour long cry session on your couch, well, that’s fine too. They speak with indigent inflections and beg advice from anyone nearby. Whiners operate with emotion comparable to that of the bighead but with a drab sense of passion and feeble undertones. Seemingly afraid to make any life decisions, they constantly seek family advice. They rarely act on any input given; their gain lies not in improving their situations but in the validation they feel from the encouragement and attention they receive in response to their tales of persecution and unexplained illnesses. Fortunately for the whiners, most families aren’t complete without at least one member falling into the following group.

Of an almost completely different breed are the levels. They are insightful and open-minded, generally honest and receptive. Levels have a tight grip on the way they should operate their own lives and…