Beginning with the theory of Rempel and Burris I will discuss what these researchers consider as definition love. First they describe love as being a “multifaceted construct with multiple meanings, diverse targets and varied expressions” (Rempel and Burris, 2005). It is formed through multiple attachment styles such as the secure attachments defined by Bowlby and Ainsworth and the romantic attachment style by Shaver and Hazan. Rempel and Burris go on to describe what love is believed to be as it pertains to the object: (2005)
Love has an object; it is something that moves out from us toward something, typically someone else
Love has value; love has something to do with the process of valuing the love object
Love is drawn; the lover
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They state hate is so varied that it can be characterized as “chronic and stable” or “persistent and enduring” (Rempel and Burris, 2005). One thing the authors do agree on is hate has motivational implications that relate to the desire to hurt or destroy the other (Rempel and Burris, 2005). The writers suggest they are parallels between the two. “Love is linked to valuing the other; hate is linked to devaluing the other” they are both linked to the object (Rempel and Burris, 2005). Devaluing the loved person is crucial because it gives seed for hate to grow. The devaluation associated with feeling that make it “ satisfying to have the hated other suffer, experience loss and be harmed”(Staub, 2005). If love is has value and the motive is associated with the goal of preserving the objects wellbeing then hate is devaluing and must have an associated goal of destroying the object’s well-being (Rempel and Burris, 2005). The researchers go on to discuss how love and hate can be understood through goal …show more content…
A table taken from Let Me Count The Ways demonstrates how specific forms of love and hate correlate (See Figure 2). Erotic love is similar to Sadism. The writers state erotic love is driven by arousal, and excitement whereas sadism desires intense rewards and pleasures may be experienced in relations to anticipated or actual interaction with the hated other (Rempel & Burris , 2005). The ultimate goal of erotic love is a desired union while sadism is ultimate goal is to seek pleasure. Dependence is compared to Mutiny. Dependence is a type of love that has insecurities and deficiencies; it has an ultimate goal to be nurtured. In a dependent relationship “closeness and the desire to preserve the other often assume the form of demanding,clinging urgency” (Rempel and Burris, 2005). Mutiny wants autonomy and feels trapped by Dependence love. “Strong feeling of dependence or need can foster an obsessive, clinging preoccupation with the other so can a context of enforced dependence create feeling of resentment and exasperation that may provoke a desire to harm the other , as in caregiving situations that evoke a sense of being trapped” (Rempel and Burris, 2005). Strong feeling of dependence or need can foster an obsession with the object so enforced dependency creates
The Essence of Love Is it possible to truly love someone without hating part of them? Does the presence of hate in a relationship mean there can’t be love? In his play the Cripple of Inishmaan, Martin McDonagh takes a look at these questions. He creates a scenario where love is put alongside hate and mean-spiritedness, then asks if it is possible for these to coincide.
The opposite of love is not hate. An example of this is when the Rabbi’s son left him behind to die, “A terrible thought crossed my mind: What if he had wanted to be rid of his father? He had felt his father growing weaker and, believing
Love comes in numerous ways and can be expressed in countless fashions. Love is powerful, has a meaning, and is capable of eclipsing time all due to the human psyche. One can love anything from a family member, to a fictional character in a TV show, or even an inanimate object. The fluidity of love is what makes it so difficult to understand if one is “in love” or has ever experienced love. Experiences often mold a person’s perspective on what love truly is. Love is not an emotion, but rather a condition of the mind that cause one to act in ways that are uncharacteristic. It can be blinding, obsessive, and pure, depending on the reciprocation of the love. Since love is an abstract concept, one simply cannot measure how much love they have received or given alike. Although the human brain can perceive and interpret other’s actions or words as signs of love and care, in which the mind processes this into the mental psyche that is love.
"Love and Hate: Existentialism and Psychoanalysis- A Personal Perspective" is an article written by Michael R. Montgomery for the journal "Existential Analysis". Montgomery wrote the article in order to express some of his ideas and personal thoughts on the subjects of duality and psychoanalysis. Montgomery described a conference he attended; he was expecting more talk about psychoanalysis, but the speaker directed the audience with a talk about duality, specifically duality and what the idea had to do with the two. The speech by Professor Ernesto Spinelli evidently opened his mind to rethinking old ideas, such as chaos versus order.
Love is virtually a universal emotion. Almost everyone experiences being in love or being loved, and the same thing could be said about hatred. In The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne discusses the similarities between love and hate. He observes that people who are in love and those who hate both feel empty with the absence of their subject of attention. At the end of his book he reflects, “It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry, whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom” (236). Hawthorne is referring to the similarities developing between loving and hateful relationships in his story. He thinks that since both require a lot of emotional investment and cause you to focus on a single person, love and hate are at their cores the same.
Love and hate are two of the strongest emotion a person has for two seemingly very different reasons. These two emotions are classified as total opposites, but I believe that they are closer than one might expect even though they have very different connotations.
Have you ever felt the feeling of butterflies in your stomach or heard the phrase “my heart skipped a beat for you”? As children, we grew up learning from our elders and experiencing new beginnings in life. Much of our knowledge has been brought upon by what we see and hear, rather of what we know. Many important decisions we make in our life has to do with what our feelings show us. Love is an important matter in our life because it motivates us in different ways. Love can be shown through emotions or even through actions. What is a valuable definition of love? A brief definition of love can be said to be a variety of different feelings or attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure. In other words, to me love is when
Love is like a spirit. It needs a person for it to manifest itself in and become useful. Useful in the sense that it helps mend the wounds of a person. It helps a person who is in a bad place find hope and reach on to it. For example, in the song “Can’t Pretend” by Tom Odell the opening lines begin with “Love, I have wounds only you can mend.” Here Odell is using personification to show how love can help him find that sense of hope and security he strives for. Odell is stating that love can ultimately heal
Love exists in the short story “The Bear Came Over the Mountain” by Alice Munro and in the short story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” by Raymond Carver. in Munro’s short story the plot is that of a mentally ill wife, Fiona, who falls in love with another patient while her husband still tries to hang on to their old love. Her husband eventually wants to have an affair with the wife of the man his wife is having an affair with. Their love changed because of their circumstances due to ill health. Carver’s story discusses the different definitions of love due to the type and quality of relationships; everyone has a different definition. Love also exists all over the world within different environments and cultures. The concept of love depends upon the environment in which it inhabits. Love is dependent on the life of the people in love and it also depends on their current environment. Nature and nurture are also huge factors into the development and process of love. What nature and nurture mean is whether it is due to how the person lives and acts along with their personality compared to whether it’s all in their genetics beforehand. Love is more on the nurture side instead of the nature side of human experience.
Yet there’s more to it than that. Love or loving is a very fluid notion. One can love a partner differently than they love their friends, or family; you can even have a love of inanimate objects, or even works of art.
Love and hate are both very powerful emotions. The abundance one can feel inside when feeling them can be overwhelming at times. I think everyone can relate to the feeling when you love someone so much you would do anything and everything for them. We can also understand that feeling when you can’t even stand the thought of someone being in the same room of you. When we look at what emotion is more powerful, I think hate is stronger than love. The reason being is that love can quickly turn to hate, but hate doesn’t change to love very fast, if at all. I think Othello is a great example of this. His love for his wife, turned to hate so fast because he thought she was cheating on him. He murdered his wife in pure cold blood which shows how hate can be such a powerful emotion that it can actually cause someone to want to commit murder. The feeling of love and hate can change someone, and they both can be very powerful. However, I think that hate is an emotion unlike no other in which the feeling is very stable, in the since that it is very hard to change someone’s mind about you when they hate you.
Both induce a personal attraction to another person or object, though in this case the person will be the focal point. This personal attraction may differ by intention, love that creates a positive, while hate a negative. In the case of the Morel’s, the missus was enchanted the mister, because he was an enigma to her more cultured world—for she was from a wealthier family. As a coal miner, “He risked his life daily, and with gaiety,” a fact that intrigued her (Lawrence 31). However, the prospect of dislike arrived sooner then expected from the simple fact that through their conversations, “She saw him listening, but without understanding” (32). It is widely known that passion is finite, while marriage—at least in the circumstances of an early industrial England—was perpetual. So, as time passed, Mrs. Morel would eventually lose her affection for Mr. Morel to the extent that his misguided actions would at times come, “each time like a brand red-hot down on her soul,” at least until, “the mark was burnt in, and the pain burnt out” (60). It was not until this certain point that Mr. Morel lost his wife’s attention, because for quite a time before then, he had a wife that cared for his well being, even though she loathed him. This brings back the validity of the claim that love and hate are essentially the same in the sense that they both instill an
Love is also the feeling someone has for a job perhaps, for a lobby of the hotel you serve in that always smells just so and has plants hanging from the wall giving the illusion you had just stepped out of a dreary gray, salt-encrusted winter into a touch of the exotic. Or for a hobby, for the grip of a ball, the tension in a muscle, the throw, watching it spin just so to the exact right spot. For rolling a die and dreaming up daring adventures against ancient dragons, or of that risk of gaining or losing it all. For the whoosh of air in free fall from 10,000 feet, or the watery embrace of sea exploring. For healing a sick child, for holding a kite string as it plays upon a wind we've no control over. For
In the popular Shakespearean play Romeo and Juliet, love and hate is a big contributor to driving the plot as they portray the violence and passion of being in love and how it led to the tragic ending of Romeo and Juliet. These emotions are repeatedly experienced by the main characters and is what drives the play as love overtakes every decision these star- cross’d lovers make. However, with love comes hate and it will find its way through and exculpates the story line. Love blinds theses characters and heals the hate between the families, but hate ultimately causes of certain deaths including their own.
Love has many different meanings to different people. For a child, love is what he or she feels for his mommy and daddy. To teenage boy, love is what he should feel for his girlfriend of the moment, only because she says she loves him. But as we get older and "wiser," love becomes more and more confusing. Along with poets and philosophers, people have been trying to answer that age-old question for centuries: What is love?