Response To Tannen's Book 'So Far'

In the first excerpt Deborah Tannen wrote “But What Do You Mean?”, she breaks down and classifies the conversational areas where men and women have the most difficulties communication. Tannen’s excerpt is written from a personal point of view, it is written within her daily workplace and based off actions or events she encounters between men and women. Tannen argues that men tend to be more confrontational when communication and women happen to approach confrontation in a subtle way. Men are direct and to the point, while women try to negotiate. In the excerpt Tannen breaks her argument into 7 sperate

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

The methods in which men and women communicate are eminently different. This being so, their external state is an indicator of their inner state, but men and women have different external states to express themselves. This is especially evident among children and individuals in relationships, and altered between a couple who tries to adjust their behavior. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” argues that boys are girls are taught to have a differ inner state, that males and females usually have the same inner state but express them differently when communicating, and that individuals in romantic relationships can alter the way they present their outer state to represent their inner state in a way their partner can relate to.

In the society we live today we surround ourselves with positivity and negativity. The stuff that is happening today are they getting better or worse? Based on the article “Taking a ‘War of Words’ Too Literally”, by Deborah Tannen, she defines the new norm of our society “the argument culture”. Tannen discusses her experiences and states that we are more confrontational and less open to others.

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

Tannen effectively opens with an anecdote about how she was at a gathering for a women’s group and men were invited. She talks about how one guy was very talkative, offering ideas and telling stories, while his wife was sitting in silence. Towards the end of the evening Tannen commented that “women frequently complain that their husbands don’t talk to them”. The man quickly agreed with Tannen and admitted that his wife was the talker in their family and if it weren’t for

In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.

In the essay, “But What Do You Mean?” author and linguistic expert Deborah Tannen argues her feelings on how men and women vary in their use of conversational “rituals.” She states that males have a tendency to use wording to sustain dominance in conversation; however, women seem to take in to account the feelings of others. Tannen identifies seven categories in which men and women differ in communication. First, women use apologies to assure other people. Men can misapprehend these apologies as taking blame rather than as the ritual reassurance that women mean for it to be perceived. This supports what Tannen says in her essay, “But there are times when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t self-deprecating or even an apology” (Tannen 380). Second, men are more straight-forward when criticizing more than women; women “soften” their criticism with the purpose of sparing the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” ritualistically, most of the time to equate the two in the conversation. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Because of this difference, women are under the impression that they are usually condemned in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise open-heartedly when they are praised. Men, on the other hand, often confuse that not criticizing is praise enough. Sixth, women converse their complications in order to share their experiences; they complain not to solve their

There are over six thousand five hundred different languages in the world, not counting the ones we do not recognize as languages. In Deborah Tannen’s, “But What Do You Mean,” Tannen writes about how men and women interact different with each other. Tannen talks about how men and women have different meanings of what is an appropriate way to speak. Tannen explains how women puts others feelings first. In Mindy Kaling’s, “Types of Women in Romantic Comedies Who Are Not Real,” Kaling writes about how media presents romance in a way that is not true. Kaling gives an analysis of how romantic comedies are not real. Kaling writes about different types are woman and romance scenarios. In Mike Rose’s, “Blue-Collar Brilliance,” Rose writes about how

The author explains to us that many women are subject to subservient functions (Lakoff 46). The roles the sexes play in society have a determination in how they are treated Robin states (Lakoff 46). She tells us about her first hand experiences of this, which cause the reader to sympathize for her (Lakoff 46). The author thinks that we will find two different ways of discrimination women face in language. The author explains the way that women are taught to use language and the way that general language treats them (Lakoff 46). This is where the reader starts to see the problems that women may face. The rhetorical strategy ethos used helps the reader feel for her cause as if it were happening to them first hand. This makes the reader aware of what is going on. At this point the audience can start to

On the one hand, Tannen’s logic maybe problematic, as she assumes that communication is the heart of the greatest marital problems. Even though this was in written in 1990 many aspect of marital problems have risen, into many different problems. For instance, marriage does not always end due to the lack of communication, anything

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

Although these perceptions may not recognize various gender differences in language, Johnson provides studies that explain the role of gender shaping discourse. Within Johnson’s section “Gendered Language Patterns in Adulthood” Johnson discusses how men and women create different ways to “voice” their existence and relatedness to others (523). Through studies of gender divisions in topicality, Johnson states that women favor personal and submissive topics and men stick to dominant topics. Johnson makes the distinction that “cross-gender talk differs in topic focus of either women-to-women or man-to-man talk” (523).

Gender and language initiate an approach to the study of language use and looks into relations between the meaning and gender. Christie provides a systematic introduction to pragmatic approaches explaining the rules of social language and how pragmatics can be realized be feminist analyses of language’s nature

Deborah Tannen article “You Just Don’t Understand” brings realization to the people about how men and women can have different viewpoints, even if they were both in the same situation. This article provides multiple example on how men and women react to one another when they don’t agree or understand why the other gender is responding a certain way. Furthermore Deborah Tannen is a linguistic, which means she is concerned with the formation of words, formation of sentences, the language use, and the meaning. So throughout the article the reader can see Tannen using these concepts throughout the reading for the reader to understand more. Along with feminist criticism, the reader can see how behavioral expectations are imposed on men and women, what marital expectations are imposed, and how marital status of men and women is affected.