Responsibility Of Raising A Child

(Baumrind 1966). I have come to realize that my parents and grandparents had this same parenting style. I have realized that I am repeating the cycle and I must break the cycle because if I do not them my children will continue this same cycle as an authoritarian parent instead of an authoritative parent. I would never want to be a permissive parent. This parenting style you are not teaching your children structure. “There are not held accountable for their actions”. (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). As parents we must teach our children there are consequences for our actions. If you do not apply any boundaries or rules as they get older they will feel like the rules do not apply to them. “Permissive parents will cause their children to be dependent, immature, and misbehave frequently.” (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). I believe some parents are like this because they want to be their child’s friend. It is okay to be their friend but there must be some type of guidelines in place.

Helicopter parents often send the unintentional message to their child saying that they are incompetent of doing things on their own - like the things they attempt to accomplish independently are wrong. Instead of letting their children experience a sense of autonomy by allowing them to accomplish things on their own, an overprotective parent would step in and take control; again promoting dependency. A lot of times, such dependency carries on into adulthood (Sade 1). Instead of being a mature, responsible adult and taking things into their own hands; they call on their parents whenever things get strenuous in their lives. Likewise, adults who still depend on their parents for everything do not mature mentally and sometimes do not have the skills needed to become successful on their own.

As we all know mother does know best, yet in some cases mother can do more harm than good. There is a big debate on how people are raising the newest generations and whether or not they are properly being introduced into the realities of our society. Are children being spoiled too much or not enough? This topic is thoroughly discussed by Alfie Kohn in his essay, “ The One-sided Culture War against Children” and by Nick Gillespie within his essay, “The Current State of Childhood: Is “Helicopter Parenting” or “Free-Range Childhood” Better for Kids?”. Although Kohn offers valid explanations, Gillespie does surpass Kohn’s explanations; parents need to be less overbearing and stop pampering their children.

According to psychologist Diana Baumrind, there are four different parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritative. (p. 339) Authoritarian parenting is a strict form of parenting that demands obedience and respect, but offers little support. Children of authoritarian parents often do not have a healthy relationship with their parents due to the lack of communication. Permissive parents are known as the “cool” parents among adolescents. This parenting style is relaxed and comes with hardly any rules. Permissive parents have a very warm relationship with their child; however, this style is counterproductive in child rearing because they act as a friend instead of a parent who sets boundaries. Uninvolved parenting is the most detrimental to a child’s psychological health. Uninvolved parents are indifferent to their child’s activities, emotional state, and overall well-being. They are neglectful and even reject their children from being a part

Parenting is not one of the easiest jobs in the world to have; you either are responsible enough to parent or you're not responsible enough.You have to be able to raise a child from birth and teach he/she all the necessary tools to succeed in life. As said in The Blackwell Encyclopedia of Social Work, “Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood” (245). All parents will raise their children in different ways, whether they are very strict or they’re lenient, others can be easy going and strict depending on the situation and the way they group up will shape them into who they become as adults as shown in The Glass Castle with Jeannette Walls and her parents.

With over three hundred million Americans and over six billion people worldwide parenting skills are essential to maintain a healthy society. Parenting involves many aspects and requires many skills. It is a time to nurture, instruct, and correct to develop fundamental skills children will need to be mature, responsible, and contributing adults to a society. There are four commonly identified parenting styles; authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved parenting. Of the four parenting styles, two remain on opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. These two styles; authoritarian, and permissive both have deleterious results that are often visible throughout different developmental stages, such as rebellious behavior. As well

Initially I define the two concepts of mistaken behavior and misbehavior, the first as error in judgment and action made in the process of learning life skills. Mistaken behaviors occur at three levels experimentation, socially influenced, and strong unmet needs. Teachers who use guidance see democratic life skills as difficult to learn, and they recognize that children are just at the beginning stages of a lifelong process of learning these skills. In the process of learning any difficult skill, children, like all of us, make mistakes. These teachers recognize that when children experiences conflicts it is because they have not yet developed the cognitive and emotional resources for more mature responses. The second Misbehavior. - The conventional term applied to conflicts that the child is involved in, resulting in consequences that often include punishment and the internalization of a negative label such a “naughty”. The complexity of teaching democratic life skills leads some adults to the misconception that young children know how to behave, they just choose to misbehave. When conflicts occur, teacher who focus on misbehavior tend to label the child’s character and attempt to shame the child into better behavior. Because of a lack of development and experience a child may internalize the negative message and act out even more. (Gartrell, 2014).

Often times, children of permissive parents are manipulative. This is because the parents submit to their children if they act out. Children of permissive parents are impulsive, the children do not learn how to control themselves. Children brought up by this parenting style “do slightly worse in school during adolescence and are more likely to be aggressive and somewhat immature in their behavior with peers and in school”

Most parents take an interest in their child’s life from birth until they become an adult by picking and choosing what is best for them as much as they possibly can. Parents want to help their children to be as perfect as they can make them. Typically hovering parents spend a lot of money, time, and effort filling schedules things like with dance classes, baseball, and tutoring in order to have a ‘perfect’ child. As well as coming to their aid when they are in need, or their defense when they are in trouble. Help in making important, life changing decisions, like where to go to college at, or which career to pursue. When does helping become hovering? The generation of “Helicopter Parents” is becoming more and more prevalent in families. A

Letting your child take control is never a good thing. Children’s spoiled behaviors is a very commonly discussed problem amongst parents because children seem to be out of control when it comes to discipline and listening. However, children in America seem to be particularly more spoiled than children in other parts of the world. Why is that? “Spoiled Rotten”, an article written by Elizabeth Kolbert, explains this very issue. American children are spoiled compared to other children around the world because, they take away the authority from their parents, lack discipline, and very little is expected of them.

The hypervigilance of parents where they dictate everything that their child does actually does damage to the child because it stunts the development of internal motivation in these students (Margolies, 2016). If my parents had told me what clubs to be in, what sports to do, what classes to take, and what homework to do at what time then I never would have developed the motivation to choose for myself. It would have actually made me less capable of choosing things for myself, thus causing more stress in my life as more responsibility would fall on me as my schooling continues. The other dangerous way that this forced culture of perfectionism damages these youths is when they seem to be the perfect student, excelling in their studies in high school, and then without this constant support they crash in college and can quickly spiral out of control, not knowing how to handle this new stress as they no longer have the hypervigilance or the praise of their parents to keep them going. Helicopter parents think that by controlling these aspects of their child’s life will benefit them and create the best possible outcome for them. This is very obviously false as it is creating the situation of a severely underdeveloped child.

Authoritative parents “set standards, but also give their child choices. They recognize the good things that their child does, but they do not overlook the bad things. These parents are more confident and nurturing. They set standards that their child can meet. Usually, this type of parenting leads to a positive self-image in the child (Black, 2008). Permissive parents “do not control their children, it is more like the other way around. There is no discipline, and the child grows up knowing they can get whatever they want. When the parent does try to discipline, the child doesn't take it seriously. These parents give in easily and avoid confrontation whenever possible” (Black, 2008). In general American parents raise their children to have an individual personality, and to be independent from a very young age. “Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows” (Suzuki, 2000).

Parenting is like taking on a jobof its own, it's a job like no other where u have to offer everything from silly giggles and heart-warming smiles to harsh attitudes and angry tears. Yet not everyone is cut out to be a parent and take on such a responsibility, some people are still stuck in a habit of only thinking of themselves.

But as soon as children start feeling that their parents care too much, they try to get back at them and do just what their parents don't want them to do. On the other hand kids who face lack of freedom may end up turning into introverts afraid to speak to other people or not as social (which is not a bad thing though).

What may be the most noticeable characteristic of these parents is their over involvement in their child’s academics. They see their child’s school work and academic activities as something that is for the child and parent together instead of for the child alone (How Not to Be a Helicopter Parent). Therefore, when the child does not do well on any given thing, the parent feels guilty as if it were their fault that the child failed (How Not to Be a Helicopter Parent).