Review of the Article 'Self-Forgiveness: The Forgotten Stepchild of Forgiveness Research'

“Forgiveness, assert Fincham and his colleagues, can help restore more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships” Everett L. Worthington, Jr.(2004). New Science of Forgiveness.

It is also vital to look at Wilson’s view on the practice of forgiveness and how if an individual decides to ignore it, it can place a road block in their process of change. She believes that God speaks about forgiveness for the following reasons:” (1) we are all sinners with whom to relate so we’ll need to become skillful forgivers (2) God makes forgiveness a centerpiece of our healing process because living in un-forgiveness is so much worse (Wilson, 2001).

Sometimes things are better off forgotten so one does not get too caught up in hatred. When the time comes to forgive someone or even oneself, one might find it very hard. The word forgiveness may have different meanings to some people. For example, some people may refer forgiveness as a way to lose weight off their backs. In Into The Wild, Jon Krakauer highlights the importance of forgiving the mistakes one has made, and the actions people around us make. Life’s experiences are not always easy to forget, nevertheless to move on from those experiences

Thematic Statement: Forgiving someone for their mistake can make yourself free of anger and bitterness.

Life, as we all know is saturated with misfortune. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and exempt ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with bone riveting experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These episodes brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our tone down. Although these experiences may scare us and fill us with ruefulness and penitence, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets habituate us. Self forgiveness is a remedy to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.

The motivation and tendency of people to forgive others remains an important topic of discussion. In today’s society most people at some period have experienced feeling of un forgiveness towards friend, or relatives. “Forgiveness was defined as the ability to relinquish of resentment towards others” (Baskin & Enright, 2004, p. 80).

Philosopher Paul Ricoeur posed the question, how “can one forgive someone who does not admit his guilt?”(Hatzfeld 195) Whether this admission of guilt is enough to be forgiven or not, the “sincere” taking of responsibility for one’s actions is an absolute minimum in striving for forgiveness. Ricoeur’s question becomes especially relevant when discussing the

Forgiveness is significant to a client because it helps to get relief psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. "Before getting into forgiveness in counseling, there are concepts that are related to it and should be analyzed (McMinn, 1996)". Forgiveness is viewed in three perspectives which include opposition, technique, or an obligation. These perspectives included in counseling are a healthy method for forgiving.

In the last 15 years, Everett has thoroughly studied how forgiveness and justice collaborate. His interest in this topic peaked after his mother was murdered which at the time was very devastating for him, as can be to anyone. Over time, Everett forgave the person who murdered his mother. Everett fiercely believes the art of forgiveness was passed to them through their mother. Everett had a brother which committed suicide as a result of the agony he dealt with in his mother’s passing. After the commitment of his brother’s suicide, he felt great self-blame and has since studied self-forgiveness

Forgiveness has been defined in many ways by psychologists and researchers with no one universal definition. Hill (as cited in Maltby, Day and Mackaskill 2001) state that it is widely agreed that forgiveness involves a willingness to abandon resentment, negative judgement and indifferent behaviour towards the person who has hurt them Although research is recent, from the last 15 years, it has helped develop our understanding of forgiveness . Research has shown that forgiveness gives positive mental health and prevents the development of mental disorders such as anxiety, depression and stress. Two major models of forgiveness are Enright’s model and Worthington’s (2001) pyramid model to REACH forgiveness. Both these models involve steps and

Forgiveness is the excuse of an offense.But it never denies the offense, the hurt and damage still exists for years.When integrity is not justified, justice restores individuals and the society to show virtuousness.Justice is all about restoration, not revenge.Revenge is a retreat.But the society does it different from what most people do in personal relationships.Through the journey of individuals life, forgiveness is a special thing.It can be a choice or an emotional spirit.Some people tend to hold bitterness and injustice for years, while others can sweep away the situation.Some people might argue that forgiving with justice makes everything so much easier however, it is obvious that sometimes justice does not help with anything.Often there

Results of a 2 (offender remorse: no apology or apology) x 3 (transgression frequency: first-time, occasional or regular) between groups factorial ANOVA on forgiveness levels revealed a significant main effect of offender remorse, F(1, 54) = 70.93, p < .001, η2 = .35. This indicated that overall, offenders who apologised (M = 5.53, SD = 1.17) elicited significantly higher rates of forgiveness than offenders who did not apologise (M = 3.73, SD = 1.34).

In general, self-forgiveness is identified by a common ability to exhibit self-respect in spite of the acceptance of wrong-doing (Hall, J., Fincham, D., 2005). I never considered the distinction between interpersonal forgiveness and intrapersonal forgiveness. While they share many similarities, there is even greater evidence of the differences between the two. One significant difference involves the consequences of withholding forgiveness from self. It is likely that intrapersonal unforgiveness can be much more detrimental than interpersonal. Hall & Fincham state “ Self-forgiveness often entails a resolution to change” (2005). It is this process of acceptance of one’s own imperfections and sinful nature that catapults a desire for self-improvement and growth. This is a critical component of healing the soul and beginning the journey to spiritual and mental health. Also enlightening was the declaration that one can experience pseudo self forgiveness by failing to acknowledge any wrong doing and convincing him/herself that they are without fault. Finally, I was struck by the notion that self-forgiveness will typically

The second step is remorse, this step often comes naturally after taking responsibility, the goal is to shift from self-condemnation into appropriate guilt. The third step is restoration which reconnects the offender to their values violated by the offense. The fourth and last step is renewal, this step involves replacing self-condemnation with self respect, self compassion, and self acceptance. There were 8 therapists involved in this study, all of which had a master’s degree or above. Individuals were provided with 8 weekly 50 minute sessions. The treatment was adapted from the treatments used to help clients forgive others. As part of the study, participants wrote the offense they were trying to forgive themselves for as well as details about the relationship they have with the person now. The therapists used a 0-10 feelings scale to determine their client’s levels of self-condemnation, self-forgiveness, psychological distress and

Forgiveness is a hard thing to give because forgiveness of another human being involves having you to forgive yourself. It seems a lot easier to withhold forgiveness and remain a victim. The forgiveness that I have given away or I have received has shaped who I am today, therefore becoming a part of me.