Role of Mother in Character Building

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NurtureMom | Mothers Health and Family Support Resource Center - Low Stress Parenting with Teamwork | Home Directory | Home | Practical Help | The Family Store | Resource Directory | About Us | Contact Us | Mother Nurture Book Reviews, Endorsements and References for Mother Nurture | | Mother Nurture© Rick Hanson, Ph.D., and Jan Hanson, L.Ac., 2005 Keys to Building Character I'm worried about how to help my son and daughter turn into ethical, caring people, especially with all the questionable influences out there these days. Any ideas? It's a real issue. With the loss of community in the past two generations (now "the village it takes to raise a child" looks more like a ghost town), an increasingly "look out for yourself"…show more content…
Caring about what others feel in general, and about our impacts on them in particular, depends a lot on sensing what their experience actually is. Consequently, we serve our children by drawing their attention to the inner world of others. For example, attuned to the age of your child, ask what he or she thinks a character in a story or TV show might be feeling, or wanting, or thinking about doing. Or a person in real life, from the nice old lady the child just helped to another child in school the child just insulted. As appropriate, try to convey the notion that people usually have several feelings or desires at once, often pulling in different directions. And that softer feelings or more vulnerable desires are under the surface, like the way hurt and fear often underlie anger, or the way that a longing to feel of worth lies beneath a hyper-competitive desire to win a game. You can do this by sharing your own inner experience when that would be useful, by naming what might be going on inside your child, and by pointing it out in others. Speak the Language of Virtue and Values Let's say a preschooler gets really mad and tries to hit you. You might say something like: "Don't do that! It hurts me, and makes me feel bad." Or you might say: "Don't do that! Hitting is a bad thing to do. People should use their words when they're angry." Both are good, and a combination is probably best. But notice
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