Satirical Essay

933 WordsDec 16, 20114 Pages
Satirical Essay Rough Copy Recently, cigarettes have been getting a bad rap. No one seems to understand that the real problem at hand is not the negative effects of smoking cigarettes, but those who abstain from smoking cigarettes. These people are nothing but a nuisance, a lousy bunch of no-gooders that just want to ruin your fun. In fact, smoking cigarettes is an activity that the entire population can benefit from. The world relies on the production and consumption of tobacco, and there are many positives of smoking that outweigh the negatives. For example, smokers dedicate a large portion of their life buying packs upon packs of cigarettes, which in turn gives a huge profit to the country. Surely if you consider yourself a…show more content…
Without the common smoker, who will buy things like teeth whitener and bad breathe killing gum? Surely coffee drinkers can’t bare that burden alone. With the increase of cigarette smoking, not only will the sales of them help the economy, but so will the increase of jobs in manufacturing, tobacco farming, and many other great career paths. Now, onto the topic of the supposed “life threatening” risks of smoking cigarettes that people have been so vocal about. People that smoke aren’t oblivious to these risks; they’re clearly printed on the front of every pack. If a smoker isn’t going to listen to all of these scientific sources, what makes them think they would listen to you? The truth is, most smokers know that smoking is killing them, and they should accept this fact willingly. Smokers get to experience the wondrous effects of cigarettes throughout their lifetime, and won’t have to live until they’re inevitable senility. Smokers know that living until they’re old is pointless, because when you’re old you lose even more relevancy than you had when you were young. Pick up smoking and die early, so that you can preserve your dignity instead of being laughed at as a feeble old man/woman. Furthermore, the world is overpopulated as it is; what’s a few lives taken from cancer here and there going to do? If anything, it will help keep the population in check. Everyone who’s anyone in the history of the world has smoked. For
Open Document