The Save My Marriage By Amy Waterman

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

In the 1970’s, divorce was relatively uncommon and difficult to happen. There needed to be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, intoxication or some other reason that made it necessary to end the marriage (“Why”). In today’s society, divorce happens every ten to thirteen seconds. Men and women fall in love, get married, and start a family. They make a vow to stay together forever and love each other unconditionally. However, not all marriages make it that far. Divorce occurs for multiple reasons such as financial problems, abuse, addictions, infidelity (cheating), and lack of communication. These factors, along with many others, not only affect the parents, but the children are affected as well.

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

Every couple eventually comes to the painful realization that the passion they felt for each other before and at the beginning of their marriage has changed or faded. Losing this spark of attraction and sexual desire can lead to questioning the basis of the marriage. If you no longer feel excited to be with your spouse, do you ask yourself, “What else is there?” Even if you aren’t asking yourself that question, the daily grind of life that includes dealing with children, work, bills and running out of time for anything other than everyday tasks can make you wonder about the number of years that stretch ahead of you in which you’ll be doing the same things every day, over and over again.

Above all, these are the most important reason not to divorce”(Ten Reasons Not to Get a Divorce). Marriage is a commitment to stay together until death. In order to get through the highs and lows of being married you have to be willing to face all issues together and not give up. “There is no perfect marriage. There are no perfect families. Every marriage hits some potholes in the road, and for some, an occasional open manhole cover” (Owens). It is unrealistic to believe that anyone can live with another human being for any length of time without having relationship problems(Owens). A marriage should be based on unconditional love for one another” (Owens). In today’s society people lead busy and hectic lives and don’t want to take the time to work on their marriage. It is easier to quit and move on when things become hard or challenging. Men and women have to reflect on what brought them together in the first

If you want to have a happy marriage with your husband, this is the book for you.  It will help you to see things in ways you never imagined.  You will learn things you never knew which will enhance your relationship with your husband.  If your marriage is falling apart this book could be the answer you have been looking for.

When a couple agrees to counseling to help their marriage, one of the first things sought after would be to resolve differences that are weighing heavy on the marriage. In this case, Steve and Cindy have started on a journey through taking the PREPARE/ENRICH program. The tests and answers are detailed to the couples characteristics and personalities and cover the couples strengths and weaknesses. This case study analysis will separate the case into three main topics of discussion. Their strengths and weaknesses will be highlighted first then potential conflicts or problems will be discussed and finally a

According to Kreider and Fields (2002) the chances of divorce among first marriages ending in divorce 40-50%, and within a 40-year period divorce in first marriage ranges between 50-67% (Gottman & Levenson, 2002). As such, some couple seek marital therapy when things are not working as they hope or before it get breaking up. Tam and Lisa is a couple seeking professional guidance because they felt their marriage is drifting apart and they want to improve their marriage.

Gottman highlights that the integration of active listening and conflict resolution techniques is not sufficient to safeguard marriages from a probable divorce. Due to that couples who have to develop throughout the years a high level of resentment in their relationship usually fails in mending the relationship through communication alone. Therefore, Gottman suggests that couples should primarily focus on constructing positive feeling, mutual experiences, and in solving their difficulties and barriers (Gottman, J. and Silver, N., 2000).

However, people say they fall out of love with their significant other at some point in their life. Some of the people who may say this might be people who have been married for a long time with their significant other. The couple knows almost everything about each other is a good thing, but a spouse might use this to their advantage to also annoy their spouse. According to Elizabeth Weil, “I have a pretty good marriage. It could be better. There are things about my husband that drive me crazy” (par. 1). Some of these could be that one of the significant others could say or do something that may annoy their spouse, not cook dinner or take out the trash like they were suppose too, or just being annoying or mad the whole day. If the couple really wants to stay together, they both have to be determined that they want their marriage to succeed. Although, staying in a marriage happy is a lot better than staying in a marriage where a person is miserable. According to Amanda Fortini, “In a much discussed survey of 35,000 American women, published in the July issue of Women’s Day, 72 percent of married women said they had considered leaving their husbands” (par. 2). Some of these reasons could possibly be physical or emotional abuse, constant arguing, financial issues, or they do not have an emotional or physical connection anymore. According to Jillian Straus, “In a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, 55 percent of 3,000 single reported that they are not in a committed

Rather than giving up and ending the marriage, many couples could save the marriage by trying to work through the problems that arise. Many people do not realize how much hard work has to be put into a marriage for it to be successful. When planning a wedding, some couples spend a lot of time preparing the vows that will be exchanged during the ceremony, but sadly the partners fail to live by the vows day after day. Scores of married couples drift apart because their hectic lives do not allow them to spend enough quality time together, which is important for a healthy marriage. Communication is also an essential factor in working through problems in a marriage.

“DIVORCE” – Just the sound of such word in any married couple or children’s ear can cause great agony that can even become terminal. Research and personal experience, has proven that in today's society, divorce is more common amongst newlyweds. Since 2009 the rate of divorce has increased to approximately forty percent, There are three out of every ten marriage that ends up in divorce before it reaches the stage of maturity, and the most prevalent results are – lack of communication and infidelity.