Search for Self in Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club Essay

Jing-mei did not want to have anything to do with her mother's plans for her to become a child prodigy, but goes along because she can't quite say no to her mother yet.

Throughout her entire life, Jing-mei’s mother always pushes Jing-mei to excel at everything she does. Her mother wants Jing-mei to become a prodigy, and originally Jing-mei shares her excitement. However, she quickly becomes overwhelmed by her mother’s constant pressure to succeed, finally deciding, “I won’t let her change me. . . I won’t be what I’m not” (Tan 34). Previously, Jing-mei has always tried to please her mother. She hates to disappoint her, but she can not get over the thought that she will never be good enough for her mother, exclaiming, “I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be” (Tan 142). To which her mother replies, “Only two kinds of daughters...Those who are

Jing-mei is representative in other ways also. She believes that her mother 's constant criticism clearly shows a lack of feeling of love, when in fact her mother 's seriousness and high expectations are expressions of love and faith in her daughter. All of the other mother-daughter pairs experience the same mistake in understanding, which in

She was my mother,” (31).  Jing-Mei says this to her aunts after her mother had died, and she had to take your position in joy luck.  She felt like she never really knew her mother because of their miscommunication.  Suyuan Woo, Jing-Mei’s mother, had many hopes and good intentions for her daughter. While Jing-Mei wanted to be herself and still please her mother, Suyuan wanted her daughter to be a child prodigy. Always wanting the best for her daughter, Suyuan hoped Jing-Mei would one day become an extraordinary pianist.  Although Jing-Mei played the piano, she never put forth much effort into the music because her best was not good enough for her mother.  Nonetheless, she stopped playing the piano.  “I could only be me,” (154).  She could not be something that she was not; she could not live up to her mother’s expectations.  This symbolized one of Jing-Mei’s songs, “Pleading Child.”  Suyuan continues to put all the pressure on Jing-Mei so that she will not become like her mother for all the reasons she had come to America; hopes for a better life.

Also, their relationship is shaped by the pressure Suyuan puts on her daughter. When Jing-Mei was growing up, her mother had the need for her daughter to be smart, talented, and a respectful Chinese daughter. This pressure put on Jing-Mei resulted in misunderstanding between mother and daughter. Jing-Mei constantly believed, “that she was disappointing her mother,” because she felt as if she failed at everything her mother wanted her to do. She believed she could never be as perfect as her mother was. Therefore she doesn’t think she is worthy enough to take her mother’s place at the Joy Luck Club “They must wonder now how someone like me can take my mother’s place” (Tan, 27). Jing-Mei does not understand that her mother wanted the best for her; Suyuan wanted Jing-Mei to challenge herself because that is how one builds up character. Suyuan thinks her daughter could do anything she proposed to do but never put enough effort into anything “Lazy to rise to expectations” (Tan 31). Furthermore, Suyuan forced Jing-Mei to learn how to play the piano and then perform at a recital. Jing-Mei rebelled against her mother and refused to learn how to play the piano well. So, at the recital she ends up forgetting the music notes. Jing-Mei blames her embarrassment on her mother and states,

Jing-mei’s rebellion against her mother is about how her mother wants her to be famous and successful. She is forcing her thoughts on Jing-mei, which Jing-mei doesn’t like nor she wants to follow her mother’s order. She believes her mother is wanting her to be what she is not, a genius, and she feels like she cannot live up to her mother’s orders, “You want me to be someone that I’m not! I sobbed. I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be!’(1128)”.

Some may see the mother trying to live her life through her daughter. She invests time trying to make her daughter a prodigy because she was her last hope. The mother lost two children in China and moves to a new country. Coming to America, she felt that immigrants have to prove that they are as talented as or more talented than Americans. This belief is supposed to be the basis for the determination, that the mother has, for Jing-mei to become a prodigy.

Jing-Mei did not believe in herself as much as her mother did. In the text, it states, “It was not the only disappointment my mother felt in me. In the years that followed, I failed her many times.” This quote shows how the differences between the viewpoints of Jing-Mei and her mother caused them to more and more separate from each other. Because of the viewpoint of Jing-Mei’s mother, Jing-Mei stopped believing in herself and started to fail everything.

Early in childhood Jing Mei dreamed of finding her prodigy and being a famous Chinese American, mostly because of the views and actions her mother placed on her. Her mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America. (pg 405) Her mother was always pushing new tests and talents on Jing Mei. She even went as far as having her daughter Jing Mei models her physical appearance and actions after a child-star Shirley Temple. Her other was always testing her with many different things trying to discover Jing Mei’s talent. Later Jing Mei started to feel like her mother was just trying to make her into someone she was not and started to just fail and not try to do anything right hoping her mother would give up. When her mother died she had realized what her mother had been trying to do. Her mother had only wanted her to do her best. She had then to realize what her mother had

At the end of the story, Jing Mei switches her narration from that of a child to that of the adult allowing the reader to see the "adult" perspective on her life. No longer is the relationship between Jing Mei and her mother antagonistic. With the offering of the piano, the mother tells her, "You have natural talent. You could have been genius if you want to" (Tan 1). Jing Mei states that she couldn’t. Then her mother states, "You just not trying" (Tan 1). Her mother bore her no anger or sadness when she made these statements and Jing Mei gave no argument in return.

Another aspect of cultural conflict is that humility and obedient are considered as the traditional virtues of the Chinese culture. Children should unconditionally obey their parents because parents have the ability and willingness to teach and control their children. For example, according to Jing-mei’s mother, Jing-mei has to practice piano assiduously. She would not be punished if she devotes all her effort to playing piano. We can clearly see this point in her mother’s word in the quarrel, “Only two kinds of daughters, those who are obedient and those who follow their own mind! Only one kind of daughter can live in this house. Obedient daughter” (461). But Jing-mei cannot understand this, because she is not familiar to Chinese culture. As a consequence of Jing-mei cannot understand her mother, she does not cooperate and has rebellious attitude against her mother. In the story, Jing-mei decided, “I didn’t have to do what my mother said anymore. I wasn’t her slave. This wasn’t China. I had listened to her before and look what happened. She was the stupid one” (460). As described above, Jing-mei cannot understand the humility and obedient of Chinese culture, even they are recognized as the

Jing-Mei feels differently though, “Unlike my mother, I did not believe I could be anything I wanted to. I could only be me,” (359/80) and she was correct for she had no natural musical talent. Jing-Mei has a desire to please her mother, but an even stronger one to choose her own life. She pacifies her mother by going to piano lessons but puts in no effort. Jing-Mei is “…determined to put a stop to her blind foolishness,” (356/48) but her mother’s desire to create a prodigy to compete with Aunt Lindo’s daughter, keeps her focused on the impossible. That is, until Jing-Mei escalates this conflict to its breaking point in rebellion. Stunning her mother, she shouts “Then I wish I’d never been born! I wish I were dead! Like them,” (359/77) referring to the twin daughters her mother lost in China. Sadly, the mother’s desire to have Jing-Mei conform to her expectations creates a constant battle between mother and daughter, and, in rejecting those expectations, seeing disappointment in her mother’s face all too often causes Jing-Mei to feel, “something inside me began to die” (353/18).

However, her mother sees it as a way for her daughter to be the best. Meanwhile, Jing-mei decides to rebel against her mother’s wishes. During piano lessons with Mr. Chong she realizes easy ways to get out of practicing.

Unlike Chinese culture, Jing-Mei starts to revolt against her mother. As a result of her mother

It is hard to let our children to choose their own dreams. When parents show constant disappointment in their children, children can eventually become disappointed in themselves. Seeing her mothers disappointment over and over again starts killing something inside of her. Jing Mei breaks down, “I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. The girls staring back at me was angry, powerful. This girl and I were the same. I had thoughts, willful thoughts, or rather thoughts filled with wont’s. I won’t let her change me, I promised myself. I won’t be what I’m not“ (19). Hopes for making your parents proud can shatter after so much pressure as did Jing Mei’s.