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Senior Synthesis: I Believe in Hope

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I can honestly say that I have never really believed anything about myself. I used to put all of that on my relationship with God because it was the easy thing to do. But, as I am transitioning into a new part of my life; moving away from family and friends, and figuring out my relationship with God, I am only beginning to understand myself. There has not been a moment in my life where I have had to seriously sit down and think about this subject, until now. I know I was meant for greater things besides sitting and eating food all day, and I know that I am not a completely worthless speck on the planet. But these are all things that I know, not necessarily what I believe about myself. I am unsure about everything and would rather just let life happen. I believe in others but I am at war with myself. To me, when you believe something about yourself, you are being held to certain standard that you will not always meet and ultimately setting yourself up for failure. If I believe I am a loving person and put that out into the universe, then it is expected of me to always be a loving person, when in reality, I am not. I am human and I am flawed. The fact that I am flawed could be the foundation of my beliefs. I believe that I am not perfect and so I have lived my life as such. But that does not mean I settle for anything less than perfection. No matter what it is; school, work, sports, relationships, I have always been determined to do and be the best I possibly can,

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