Sex, Lies, And Conversation, By Deborah Tannen

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

In her paper, The right to lie: Kant on dealing with evil, Christine Korsgaard offers an example in which lying is morally permissible under one formulation of Kant’s categorical imperative yet not another. From this Korsgaard concludes that Kant’s formulations of Universal Law and of Humanity as an End in Itself are not equivalent, and that one is more strict than the other. In this paper I will present Korsgaard's example and then use her interpretation of the Formulation of Universal Law to evaluate what it would prescribe as the correct responses to three additional cases.

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

In today’s American society, lying has become something that we are accustomed to using almost every day without even realizing it. In “The Ways We Lie”, Stephanie Ericsson, screenwriter, advertising copywriter, and writer, elaborates on the act of lying and how it is used by everyone on a daily basis. She comes up with a list of the common, different kinds of lies that we all have told. Furthermore, the text goes in depth about the significance of lying and how it is an essential part of every human’s life. Ericsson’s essay effectively conveys this idea through the use of pathos, logos, ethos, personal examples, rhetorical questions, and analogies which helps the reader better understand the reasoning behind lies and how it affects our

In the essay The Ways We Lie, author Stephanie Ericsson writes in depth about the different types of lies used by most people everyday. While listing examples of them, Ericsson questions her own experiences with lying and whether or not it was appropriate. By using hypothetical situations, true accounts, and personal occurrences, she highlights the moral conflicts and consequences that are a result of harmless fibs or impactful deceptions. In an essay detailing the lies told to ourselves and others, Ericsson points out one bold truth; everyone lies. Through her writing, Ericsson causes the reader to look into how they’ve lied in the past and how to effects others and the general greater good of society.

She found that at every age, girls and women faced each other directly. On the other side of things, she noticed that at every age, boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room. Tannen demonstrates this when she gives the example of a woman in college who was frustrated because every time she would try and talk to her boyfriend he would lay down and put his arm over his face. This signaled that he was taking a nap, but he insisted that it was the only way he could listen without being distracted. Tannen follows by saying, “I believe these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between men and women like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise”. She backs her claim by discussing a research she discovered in an issue of American Psychologist. The research revealed that children’s development is most influenced by the social structure of peer interactions. The research later showed boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

The article traces the origins of this phenomenon to childhood, where young boys and young girls tend to play exclusively within their own gender. Children's development is most influenced by the social structure of peer interactions. The differences in childhood socialization result in a lack of understanding of the communication styles of the sexes. Boys and girls bond differently.

In Dave Barry’s article “We’ve Got the Dirt on Guy Brains” and the Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” , the authors discussed the difference between men and women in terms of specific issues. However, their opinions of what reasons have led to certain differences diverged. This essay aimed at providing a detailed examination of both articles by comparing some of the points. First of all, I will discuss the shared point of both articles regarding the differences of men and women. Then the I will move on taking about the major different opinions the two authors held. Once these have been done, a brief examination of the the evidence in both articles.

The article, The Cult of Womanhood: 1820 - 1860 written by Barbara Welter discusses the philosophy towards women in America during the mid 19th century. A set of demands and expectations based upon four principles: piety, purity, submission and domesticity were placed on women as well as certain behavioral expectations left 19th century women feeling guilty. It also left women feeling this way during the industrialization period as well as having a huge presence of incompatibility with society. Welter shares her viewpoint that the Cult of Womanhood was an attempt to preserve pre modern values in the industrial age. Men held a dominant place in society and continued to prevent new opportunities for women to explore. Narrow minded

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

Bailey, Beth. Sex in the Heartland. Cambridge, Massachusetts, and London, England: Harvard University Press, 1999.

The history of publishing has been plagued with literary hoaxes — from the somewhat harmless Ern Malley hoax to the most recent Belle Gibson scandal. Unfortunately literary hoaxes will continue to happen, unless publishers begin to fact check manuscripts before publication. Publishers claim they are unable to do this due to the financial cost of the procedure and this is a believable claim. If you spoke to an average person they would say that the print industry is dying, thanks to the rise of digital technology, and there has been a downturn in profits.

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

How one communicates is also influenced by gender. Studies show that ones sex can place a person in a gender role expectation. Women and Men communicate differently and because sexual identity is defined through same sex parent or role model, women and men can get into gender role expectations. These expectations influence their perception attitudes and behavior that will result in a communication style. This early self-concept can effect each one's interpersonal relations. Women for instance are much-attached human beings they have very early identification with their mothers, and this can cause an on going pattern of role expectation. It can lead to interpersonal communication skills that are very nurturing and understanding. Women are not threatened by intimacy and communicating at a close range with people. Similarly, men also have an early identification process not with their mother, but their fathers. Men tend to be fairly reserved, and quite. Men are most comfortable when there is a level of separation. This male role will contribute to the communication processes and it can cause communication to