Sex, Lies, And Conversation

The methods in which men and women communicate are eminently different. This being so, their external state is an indicator of their inner state, but men and women have different external states to express themselves. This is especially evident among children and individuals in relationships, and altered between a couple who tries to adjust their behavior. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” argues that boys are girls are taught to have a differ inner state, that males and females usually have the same inner state but express them differently when communicating, and that individuals in romantic relationships can alter the way they present their outer state to represent their inner state in a way their partner can relate to.

She found that at every age, girls and women faced each other directly. On the other side of things, she noticed that at every age, boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room. Tannen demonstrates this when she gives the example of a woman in college who was frustrated because every time she would try and talk to her boyfriend he would lay down and put his arm over his face. This signaled that he was taking a nap, but he insisted that it was the only way he could listen without being distracted. Tannen follows by saying, “I believe these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between men and women like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise”. She backs her claim by discussing a research she discovered in an issue of American Psychologist. The research revealed that children’s development is most influenced by the social structure of peer interactions. The research later showed boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive

Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why it is so Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other

In Dave Barry’s article “We’ve Got the Dirt on Guy Brains” and the Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” , the authors discussed the difference between men and women in terms of specific issues. However, their opinions of what reasons have led to certain differences diverged. This essay aimed at providing a detailed examination of both articles by comparing some of the points. First of all, I will discuss the shared point of both articles regarding the differences of men and women. Then the I will move on taking about the major different opinions the two authors held. Once these have been done, a brief examination of the the evidence in both articles.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

As children grow up, they learn how to communicate in various ways. One learns when and who to share his or her troubles with, how to bond with fellow classmates, and how to express feelings by using language. Tannen states that “many women bond by talking about troubles, and many men bond by exchanging playful insults and put-downs” (Tannen 215). . Tannen's research in “You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation” shows that the differences between the communication patterns of men and women go beyond social occasions, and appear to be in the basic forms of the opposite sex. “Men use communication to maintain independence, while women talk to maintain intimacy (Morrison 1). Female students often find that males like to hide their feelings and speak undemonstrative outside the classroom

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

In Rebecca Solnit’s “Men Explain Things to Me” and Lesley Kinzel’s “Why You’ll Never Hear Me Use the Term ‘Mansplain’” they both focus on the common occurrence of men trying to explain things to women even if they do not fully understand what they are talking about. This is a topic that has become better known in recent years and the term “mansplaining” was created to describe this phenomenon. The authors agree on the problem, but go at it from different angles. While Solnit uses strong examples in her article to try to persuade the reader, Kinzel uses more effective rhetorical strategies and portrays a better understanding of what her intended audience, the male population, wants to hear.

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

Male and female differ in their use of communication because their reasons for communicating are different. Men

While analyzing question one from Deborah Tannen’s perspective on the connection of miscommunication in marriages and high divorce rates, I agreed with you when you stated that men tend to talk more in public situations and less at home compared to women. I agreed with you because Deborah Tannen and her sources noted that men tend to talk in public situations and less at home compared to women.

There exists a disparity in the communication phenomenon between men and women. This disparity according to scholars can be attributed to the male dominance in the society today and relationship tensions between couples. A study on cross-sex conversations showed that, when men and women engage in a friendly conversation, they do so as equals but they do not play the same roles in the communication. Women tend to ask more questions and likely to utter utterances that encourage responses from the other speaker. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to interrupt their partner’s conversations and make direct opinions and facts to control or dominate the conversation. Thus, the communication phenomenon between men and women is strikingly distinct.

Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of

According to Deborah Tannen, a linguistic professor of Georgetown University, men and women talk differently and sometimes it might be very complex as she stated that many coupes 'grew in diverse cultures.' Men consider communication as a primary language of 'report.' They feel more

In the article “Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers” by Deborah Tannen, you will begin to see and discover the differences in conversation between men and women. Discussed throughout this paper are the importance of metamessages, an overview of Tannen’s article, whether Tannen is fair in her article toward both men and women and whether I agree with Tannen’s article as well as experiences of my peer’s and myself.