Shaming Teenagers

Dealing with young people/teenagers can be a minefield. It can be hard as at this age they believe that they “know everything” and are “grown up” so have no need to listen to others points of view. But sometimes young people need our help just as much, or more than children.

For those of us that are parents, we know that raising a child to adulthood is not an easy task but one which we do lovingly (hopefully) and responsibly. I’ll go out on a limb to say here that everyone agrees that the teenage years are the most challenging. The general consensus is that teenagers are unruly, aggressive, careless, spoiled and dependent on technology. On the other hand, I believe along with a small group of other parents that teenagers are also brilliant and in the process of becoming and reaching their potential and that they deserve much more respect than what they are given.

In her article, “Condemn the Crime, Not the Person,” June Tangney argues that shaming causes more harm than good. She focuses on alternatives to traditional sentences instead of shaming and incarceration. As a more recent trend, officials are using shaming sentences more and more. Tangney states that it is important to know the distinction between shame and guilt. Tangney states, that research has shown feeling of guilt “involve a sense of tension and regret over the bad thing done.” Guilt makes people feel bad. It makes them want to change their behavior whereas shame does not motivate people to feel better and they are less likely to stop their wrong behavior (577). She also states that scientific evidence suggested publicly shaming a person makes a problem instead of creating a constructive change in them and individuals may hide and escape the shameful feelings and try to blame others (577). In conclusion, Tangney suggest community service as a sentence for offenders to pay their debt to society for their wrongdoing, been linked to the crime they did. Her tone is informative and innovative and keeps the reader interested while reading. However, this article displays weakness in term of the evidence the author presents, it is one sided and does not provide evidence her suggestion for community service as a sentence option works. Therefore, it fails to persuade the reader.

In order to illustrate a key stage in the life course, I will be looking at the area of adolescence because I believe that this is one of the most critical life stages, with so many immense transitions young people go through. I have chosen to focus on adolescence because of a commitment to working with these vulnerable individuals aged from 14 to 19. We can no doubt all reflect on wrong choices we felt we made in our adolescence, and how our education and employment prospects may have benefited from good advice at this crucial juncture in life. I want to be able to guide vulnerable adolescents in the right direction and help them make the right choices, by understanding their needs, and supporting them in practical ways to live fulfilling and independent lives. From personal experience, I sincerely believe that with the right kind of guidance and attention, troubled teenagers can get back on track.

In the article “Condemn the Crime, Not the Person,” June Tangney argues that shaming causes more harm than good. She focuses on alternatives to traditional sentences instead of shaming and incarceration. As a most recent trend, officials are using shaming sentences. Tangney states that it is important to know the distinction between shame and guilt. She explains that feelings of shame involve painful focus on the self, the humiliating sense of “I am a bad person,” and guilt impacts a specific behavior, the sense of “I did a bad thing” (570-571). She also emphasizes in evidence suggesting that publicly shaming make a problem instead of creating a constructive change in people. Even thought, the tone of her essay is informative and innovative, it is one sided, ineffective

It’s common to argue that a perpetrator “deserves” to be shamed, but in fact human psychology doesn’t work this way. Many pedophiles, for instance, recognize that that they are inexorably—even biologically—bound to impulses that they themselves loathe. Does the shaming—through public registries for example—cause the pedophile to reform? Unlikely. Does it deter others from engaging in pedophilic acts, or does it drive them to darker corners and sneakier tactics?

Many define adolescence as the transition period from puberty to legal adulthood where one is in the process of maturing. “This transitional period can bring up issues of independence and self-identity,” according to Psychology Today (“Adolescence”). Adolescents are usually classified to be between the ages of 14 and 18 and traditionally regarded as “minors” by law. “Minors, as a group, are legally disabled, meaning they are presumed to lack the skills necessary for capable decision-making” (Rhonda). Adolescents are unable to make rational decisions due to the Prefrontal Cortex not fully being developed, emotional responses and other factors which may cause potential societal harms as well as risks to the minors. Adolescents should not have the right to make autonomous medical choices.

I believe that adolescents need emotional support in their lives. Many adolescents get this support from their parents. However, not all adolescents can talk to their parents about issues they are having. For example, Jack cannot talk to Dwight because he is abusive and would not listen. He cannot go to his father because he abandoned Jack when he was young. Jack does not even feel comfortable talking to his mother because he does not want to burden her with his

Did you know that elephant owners in Asia can keep their elephants in their yard with a simple piece of twine and a post in the ground? I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “How is that possible? Elephants are strong, smart, and have potential to do huge things.” The answer has nothing to do with the twine and the post; but it has everything to do with the twine around the elephant’s mind. The thing is, teenagers are a lot like elephants. We are strong, smart, and have incredible potential, but somehow we are held back by a tiny piece of string, held back by a lie; the lie that teenagers are rebellious, good for nothing, lazy bums. Today I am going to be talking about how this lie affects the relationship between adults and

Working in a daycare, I see kids, of all kinds, limiting themselves on a daily basis. Whether it be the boy who wants to play dolls, or the girl who wants to play dinosaurs, kids all over the country are restricting their personalities and their imaginations because of what it expected of them.

Public discipline leads to many negative results. According to “Shaming Your Kids On Social Media - A New No No”, publicly disciplining your child can lead to depression, anxiety, and elevated stress. Parents shouldn’t publically humiliate their children because it gives them self- esteem problems and the post stays there permanently.

Teenagers are still growing and learning. Sometimes we forget that they are making choices that can affect their whole life. Yes, we are here to teach them and to guide them in making decisions that will help shape their future. Are they going to make mistakes? Are they going to regret some of their choices? Are they going to wish that they had listened to their parents at times that they didn’t? I’m pretty sure that we made mistakes as teenagers and decisions that we wish we could change. I know that some made worse choices than others but, we have all made poor choices at one time or another even as adults. I definitely feel that

Furthermore, teens always find a way to get away with certain problems, even if they are small they still try avoid the consequences. In other words they are trying to get the easy way of their problems. But this may not be the best choice because they can be making matters worse. Besides, teens who commit crimes should be tries as adults, the reason being that if they do not get punished then

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change”(Brené Brown). In The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, a woman is publicly shamed for having a child with a man who is not her husband. Another example of public shame can be seen in modern day articles “Florida ‘Scarlet Letter’ Law is Repealed by Gov. Bush,” by Dana Canedy, and “Houston Couple Gets ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Treatment.” Both talk of public shame that people have had to endure in the present day. Public shaming is not an effective punishment because it is a cruel and unusual punishment, it does not deter crime, and it can emotionally traumatize the one being shamed.

As a private school student, I can’t claim to have a comprehensive knowledge of the politics of public school. Thus, I cannot definitively say whether or not the events of 13 Reasons Why are representative of modern day teenage life. However, the only places I’ve seen lists which categorize girls based on their appearance have been in television shows and books, and certainly none of my public schooled friends have ever mentioned such a thing. Despite this specific example of objectification not necessarily being truthful to life, there still exists a pervasive culture of other types. Teenaged boys often, after dating or sleeping with girls, feel free to share their experiences with their friends. Pictures of girls sans clothes may be meticulously saved and and distributed to whomever the receiver pleases, and may even be used as blackmail, to extort other sexual favors from the girl in question. Even though the list is fictional, it still has the same results as real life sexual bullying; depression, self-esteem and self-perception issues, and even suicidal thoughts and actions. In a 2012 Youtube video, a girl named Amanda Todd detailed her life at school, which consisted of endless bullying and harassment after a stranger cajoled her into sending him topless pictures of herself, and released them to the students and faculty she attended. Just over a month after her video was posted, Todd killed herself. Sexual bullying is a very real issue in today’s adolescents, with