Shareh Essay : Why I Am An Aleph

Each step up the stairs increased my apprehension. My thoughts were now jumbled. All I could think about was the moment I was about to encounter, the moment that I had been waiting so long to experience yet never wanted to arrive. I hurried across the stage. I had never liked being the center of attention, but all the same, a flame of pride had been ignited in me. My mother would be somewhere up front, trying every way she could to achieve the perfect angle for the perfect picture. Mr. Johnson handed me my certificate, which I grasped in my hands, clammy from the agitation I felt since an hour prior. The pastor and principal were smiling encouragingly. I shook their hands, then turned so that I was facing the audience. To the people watching this scene unfold, it would have seemed like I was uncomfortable. However, the smile plastered across my face was genuine. I walked quickly off the stage. Now that more than a hundred pairs of eyes weren’t on me, I was elated. I couldn’t contain my pride. I was also thrilled, for this new chapter in my life was only just

After everything was loaded into the moving truck, the workers drove away with all of our belongings, and I felt empty. Falling asleep that night was difficult, I kept contemplating how I could make the most friends and be the happiest at the new school. What type of personality should I choose? I could be anybody I wanted, because nobody knew me, I thought that I could choose what personality I wanted to portray. I was under the impression that I would be starting high school there, so I thought I had to choose what type of person I wanted to be, and know exactly who I was, but of course, I didn't.

The general consensus was fear and a fear of the unknown. Participants were more than vocal and expressed their many concerns. Vocalizing the, I did my part, I voted, I made the calls, I volunteered, how could this happen? It became evident that many Americans felt this way as just about every individual from the roundtable expressed this sentiment. Many felt as if the President was trying to reverse the progress of America, showing concern when it came to civil rights, women’s rights healthcare and the economy. The raw truth, the pain, and the disconnect all became apparent as the conversations

Each obstacle and failure I encountered led me to be the person who I am today; the person who hides the bruises and scars of my childhood with an enormous smile that glows as if light could counteract darkness. My insecurities, struggles with low self-esteem, and failed attempts in my life must be swallowed and sealed so that I have the opportunity to pursue my life dream: being one of the first in my family to say, “I attended and finished

I have always felt a disconnection from family, and, coupled with my misanthropic tendencies, for most of my formative years I was raised by the internet and television--a foster child of escapism. I continued like this for most of my life until my Junior year in high school. During the transition to my Junior year my normal modes of escapism faded away, and alone with the echo of my thoughts I was at my lowest point: my grades were below what I could achieve due to my negligence, my pride and self-doubt swallowed me, and I had succumbed to the usual trappings of adolescent arrogance. I want to say that I had an epiphany, or that I over night I changed into the changing man I am today, but that isn’t true. Though, through the streets of my

All the lights, beaming, burning down on the shy 10 year old, frozen in the sudden spotlight, unsure whether to sing, or to run off the stage. Expectations all of a sudden changed from just a part of the choir now to leading the choir, through this unexpected solo. In a sense that’s what it felt like, I was thrust into the role of man of the house after my older brother went off to college and later medical school, and I wasn’t quite ready for it. There was only time to learn on my own and take what my older brother taught me to be responsible in the household. All of a sudden, everything was put in a stronger light, and it felt as if I was watched, and critiqued more than I used to be. For me to be the man my family wished me to be, it was either grow up, or give up; there was no time to be a baby, there was no time to take my time. The edge to do the right thing was mightier than it may have been for another 10 year old. From watching over the house when my mom wasn’t home, to taking care of my brother everyday, my days now consisted of homework, housework, and a daycare role for my brother. Yet given the circumstances, this 10 year old persevered. He disregarded the new “spotlight,” the new intensified responsibilities, and instead of running off the stage, embraced the role, and embodied the new responsibilities instead of shying away from them. Seven years

No matter how great my graders were, how much I accomplished, or how amazing of a student I was, I was always the reason they argued. My older brother, Mark, isn’t the dream child. He’s made mistakes in his life; he’s been caught drinking, smoking, and ditching classes, but even then I’m considered worse than him. I’m the one who learned Spanish, the one who listened to Latin music, who attended Catholic masses. I wasn’t like my siblings, I never cared to learn Arabic, go to church with my dad, or spend time practicing the culture with my cousins. I was the child who took a stance for the things I believed in and argued with against my dad. The child who never made him proud. Nonetheless, I woke up every morning thrilled to go to school and escape it all, to learn, go to college, and become something, someone, so I wouldn’t end up like my

According to Levine (2016), Ultra-Orthodox Jewish culture contains varying sects, Hasidic/Yeshivas is considered a Jewish religious sect which originated in the Ukraine and Lithuania as a spiritual movement of Judaism which spread throughout Eastern Europe during the eighteenth century. Hasidic Immigrants have settled in the United States, United Kingdom and Israel. Disciples of its originator Ba 'al Shem Tov have since disseminated it into sects. The cultural intersectionality in focus is current Hasidism, an Ultra-Orthodox sect of Judaism which preserves its religious conservatism and social isolation from mainstream society. (Levine, 2016)

I am timid, and thoughtful. I did not do as much as the other girls in the room, nor was I popular at school. I loved to play tennis, but I did not play nearly as well as some other girls. It seemed that I was destined for failure standing next to them, so why was I there? As the summer progressed, I began to find out why.

“My childhood was happy and pleasantly uneventful. I was the youngest child by 11 years and grew up in a middle class family with loving parents and sisters. I was a good student, a strong athlete and a happy and well­-adjusted child. Somewhere in the middle of Grade 6, however, my safe and simple childhood world began to unravel – and I didn't know how to react.

For most of my life, I had been the definition of an introvert. I was afraid of anything unfamiliar. The thought of meeting strangers would make me cringe. In the first grade, I cried for the entire year. I cried walking to school, and I sobbed on the way home. When my parents sent me away for junior high, I clutched on to my sister’s sleeves as if I were being sent away forever. Then one day, I changed. Perhaps I was sick of being the shy little girl always hiding behind others’ back, but I decided to do something different. I volunteered to host school assemblies, acted in dramas, and decided to study abroad to America. I suddenly had a new outlook on life.

It had come to the attention of my family that I had some sort of psychological problem and something had to be done. I was always labeled as a shy and quiet kid, and like my family I had thought nothing more of my behavior. However, now it had become something more obvious. I had told my parents the kinds of problems I was having.

The horizon rises from behind the White House making it look grand and beautiful. The darkness of early morning recedes and color rushes to take it’s place. Today is going to be a momentous day and everyone knows it. I can feel the exhilaration and stress of everyone around me. Workers begin setting up chairs, a stage and a podium for the upcoming event. In the midst of this cool August day the rights of all will become a reality. I know because these words have been spoken to me over and over again. I’ve been to every speech, every event, never to be replaced.

Judaism has approximately 14 million adherents across all seven continents of the world (Rich, “Jewish Population”). Of the world’s 7 billion people, Judaism only makes up about 0.2% of the world’s population. However, for its small size it receives a disproportionately large amount of publicity. This could be due to the unfortunate fact that Jews throughout history tend to face a large amount of discrimination and persecution or because of their relation to the two largest religions in the world, Christianity and Islam. In my pursuit to understand Judaism, I learned about this small, but widely recognized, religion’s deep-rooted history, sacred traditions, and intentional worship-style.

Since I was little, my fears have changed from automatic toilets to something of a more serious nature. Today, I am terrified of only one thing: living a mediocre life. Somewhere, in the time between those two fears, something in me changed. The green shoot of life that played with Barbie’s bloomed into a flower of responsibility and purpose, pollinating my relationship with God, academics, and writing.