She Left Me Blind And Starving

1098 Words5 Pages
She left me blind and starving. It was 2001, and unlike most infants, I was left waiting, hoping to find a family. Not only was I malnourished, I was also starving for answers. I couldn’t see what happiness was, or if love existed. My life has changed so much since I won the lottery. Since I won my family.
My mom got me a book when I was about four called Adoption Is for Always. This was the first step in teaching me about my past. We used to read this book together before I went to sleep. I sure did love that book. Back then, I didn’t really understand what adoption meant, I just looked at my mom smiling, and smiled with her. It wasn’t always like that.
My parents told me that when I was a baby, I never smiled. When my parents used to smile and wave toys in front of me, I’d give them a blank stare. I later learned how to smile. As I grew up I started having more and more questions. I wanted to know what my life would’ve been like if I’d never left Russia, or if I hadn’t been put up for adoption. I like to imagine Russia as a great place when it really isn’t. I know this because my mom told me stories of when she used to live in Russia. She told me that Russia is a cold and dangerous place and that I would be living in poverty if I had stayed there with my birthparents. She helped me realize that my birth mother doesn’t need me. That there was a reason she’s never seen my face. By not knowing what I looked like, it was easier for her to leave me. She obviously knew that

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