She Left Me Blind And Starving

I remember on my first day of preschool, my mom told me, “Abby, don’t tell your teachers about your family.” Sitting in my car seat, at the age of 4, I was starting to become overwhelmed with confusion. This confusion bubbled up inside me for years. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask my moms, but I did not have the courage or the strength to ask. Then I grew up. My perspective on the world changed, and I realized that my parents were seen as a calamity to society. That was my perspective though. I wondered what my mom’s was. How did she grow up in a world that only saw her as a flaw in the system? So I asked. Beth Shaffer’s perspective on her past, the present, and the future is an astonishing story.

She lost her parents at a young age, so her grandparents struggled to take care of her and her brothers. Soon after her sixtieth birthday, my mom married my father, and they both welcomed me two years later. I was born in September 1999; unfortunately, five months after my birth, my father died in the hands of a stranger from a gunshot to the head. Although both my grandmother and mother were devastated by his passing, they both decided to once again fight for our future and raise me.

Some talk about finding out they were adopted later in life and how it messed with them so I have learned how important it was for us to continue the conversation and help them with any issues that came up. I’m glad we did.

There was a seven year old child named Kiki who was found and dug out of rubble in Haiti after being stuck buried in there for 7 days. At first he was scared to leave the hole but when he got out he wasn't scared anymore, he didn't cry, he did quite the opposite in fact he stretched out his arms like a star and had a huge smile on his face. All the people around couldn't help but smile aswell because Kiki’s smile was infectious! Now a show of hands how many times a day you think that you smile? 4000? 20? 150? 60? On average a child smiles approximately 400 times per day but adults only smile 20 times per day teens like us are anywhere within the middle because of the fluctuating hormones. Out of the thousands of smiles we have shared by this

Born in Haiti to Mr. & Mrs. Lormeus Frederick, my lifestyle as a child was very modest, humble, and supportive. We weren’t rich, nor were we poor; my parents provided food on the table every day and enrolled us in the most prestigious school in the country. Our home was very peaceful and fun. My father had five children from previous relationships while my mother only had two. Being the youngest child, I was always well protected and spoiled by everyone; it got annoying sometimes always being babied as if I couldn’t do things on my own. My siblings and I got along very well, of course we had our misunderstandings at times, but we always stuck together and had each other’s back. I sometimes wish I could go back to that life again.

When I was fourteen years old, some pre-pubescent insult of a highschool boy assured me that it was MY fault my parents put me up for adoption because I was a less than desirable human being. I took a second to gather my thoughts and calmly responded, “Well at least I was chosen. Your poor parents, having no other choice, are stuck with you.” Although these insults tore me apart from the inside out, making light of them was the only way I knew how to protect myself from vulnerability. I didn’t want anyone to know my story because the truth is, it wasn’t a pretty story. While other kids who were adopted waltzed around holding their pretty stories up as if they deserved the Pulitzer Prize for them, I tucked mine away deep into the crevices of my being.

I learned a lot about growing up at the age of eight, when my parents divorced. In 2008, my mom, my brother and I left a toxic environment and moved in with my grandmother. It was a time of several lessons and realizations for me, and also a time that I would learn to grow and adjust to what was happening around me. During several months of transition for us, I learned the meaning of humility, responsibility and accountability.

However, I can recall when my parents came to get me the second time and finally adopt me. I remember a few things like When we were leaving Orenburg, we were on the plane finding a seat and my Dad found us three seats right on the wing we were in row A B & C. My dad took the window seat I was in the middle seat and my mom was in the aisle seat. They elbow bumped me a few times as fun, then mom told me to rest. I was incapable to sleep as a result that I was doing something that was outside of the Orphanage I couldn't sleep. Furthermore, I remember that our plane from Orenburg we pushed back then we stayed on the tarmac for hours then we finally started taxing again and that's all I remember of being in Russia.

When I was eighteen months old, I was blessed to be adopted from India by a family in California, the Allans. They were a family of four at the time in Ventura with two boys, ages of three and four years old. It took almost a

Two studies from 2002 and 2011 at Uppsala University in Sweden confirmed that other people’s smiles actually suppress the control we usually have over our facial muscles, compelling us to smile. They also showed that it’s very difficult to frown when looking at someone who smiles. These findings would not have surprised Charles Darwin, who in addition to theorizing on evolution in The Origin of the Species, also developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory, which suggests that the act of smiling actually makes us feel better (rather than smiling being merely a result of feeling

As a newborn, I found my family through the gift of adoption. My parents, my home life, and my experiences have had a direct impact on shaping who I am today. They had always taught me that everyone is gifted, just in their own way. The hard part is to find that gift. As an adoptee, my entire childhood was a buffet of sampling sports, lessons, activities, and class subjects

My parents got divorced when I was two years old and growing up trying to be a kid was difficult. I had to pick between going to my friend’s house for the weekend or hanging out with my dad or mom. I had to pick whether going to a birthday party was more important than watching TV with my dad. For a young kid, these were very difficult decisions. I learned how to be organized, by packing my bags and going to my dad’s for the weekend. I learned how to have patience when waiting to be picked up by my other parent. I went from being an only child to having step brothers when my mother remarried and learning to be content with what I had. I learned a lot of important traits at a young age and they have helped me as I have grown. I have not also

The foreword also reveals Baby’s courageous step to leave behind all that she knew to be her abusive home and to start all over in pursuit for a better life with her children and herself, unlike her mother who did not have the courage to take her children with

When mom and dad smile with their baby, the baby smiles back. If mom or dad makes a sad face, the baby sees there is no joy in their face and will start to instinctively begin to frown. Even though that this pattern of happy and sad facial expressions are intuitive, it is also providing the baby with experience of how facial expressions are displaying playing happiness and sadness.

Being so young and losing my mom changed my life so much, knowing I have to live the rest of my years being a dependent woman because I will not have a mother figure in my life anymore. Since she passed, I have tried to be just like her, happy all the time, even if I’m hurting because I know my pain was not as big as her’s. I always think about the things I do before I do them, seeing if my mom would do the same thing. I had to grow up relying on my dad to fulfil the missing piece of my mom, things mother would do usually do. My mom’s passing also showed me how thankful I should be of my dad. He had to take the role of two parents, while having 2 kids to take care of. He would take me shopping and get my nails done, things my mom would do. Her passing made my small family closer, relying and depending on each other.