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Shippai, A Failure-Personal Narrative

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“Shippai, a failure” – that is what my father had called me. His words resonated in my ears, like a Buddhist bonsho bell driving out evil spirits at New Year’s. Standing on

the road, that snaked up the mountain to Kegon Falls, Japan’s highest waterfall, I

contemplated what had brought me here.

Since childhood, my parents had sent me to juku, or cram classes, after school.

Even weekends and holidays had been focused on my education, leaving little time for

such frivolities as friends, television, or sports. “Work hard,” my mother always said, as

she handed me my daily cup of tea. The reward, for the financial and emotional

sacrifices, would be the social status my academic success would confer on us all.

But the pressure was …show more content…

The poignant words were written by a young student like me, before he

jumped to his death. Thousands of kindred spirits had followed in his footsteps. I pictured

myself spreading my arms out wide, and spiraling downwards, like a kamikaze pilot. My

death might bring my parents more honour than my miserable life had. As I neared the

top of the towering waterfall, I prepared for my destiny.

I heard a sharp screech and snapped to attention. A troop of grey-brown macaque,

or snow monkeys, stood frozen, facing in my direction. Fifty pairs of beady eyes stared

out from menacing pink faces and pinned me to the spot. Fear paralyzed me. My soul

seemed to float outside of my body, but my feet were riveted to the ground. I could not

breathe. Then, the monkeys began to move. Like a teaming river that had broken free

from its banks, they barreled down the tree-lined slope. I envisioned the flood of

shrieking fiends swarming and leaping on me, their sharp claws scratching and tearing at

my soft flesh. As their teeth punctured my skin, and blood spurted out, I would take my

last, agonized gasp. At least now, I would not have to jump.

But something deep inside of me shifted. An overwhelming urge to survive

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