A teenage girl steals a positive pregnancy test to trick her boyfriend, but it backfires.
STORY COMMENTS
THERESA ISLAND is a short, character-driven, drama that centers on a teenage girl who lies to get what she wants. She learns a valuable lesson about how lies can destroy relationships and friendships. It’s an important message that resonates with the mainstream audience. The story attempts to explore how one lie can impact many people and change their lives.
While the themes and the messages are well appreciated, this short script would benefit from more development. There are structural concerns, especially with the timeline and non-essential scenes. In addition, the story would benefit from more clarification, more character development, as well as stronger and clearer dialogue.
The structure utilizes a non-linear timeline in which the story transitions back and forth in time. It’s not an effective structure for this story. Certainly, the script can open in one time frame, transition back in time to tell the story, and then eventually catch up with the opening. This would work.
However, the current structure seems to flashback numerous times and several years, making it very challenging to follow.
One isn’t always clear what time-period one is in or the ages of the characters because of the time shift. So again, consider, opening in one time-period and then flashing back to another time-period, but then keep the structure or timeline linear until the end. Don’t
For example, when the story starts we may feel differently about the narrator and Sonny than after some of the details of their past are revealed. In addition, to keep the readers interested about how the past will connect to the present in the story. As a reader I tend to be more involved in the story if more and more details are revealed but not in the exact order. This method helps open up the characters in a deeper way through a short story. Essentially, the author does not have much time to tell the story, it is not an epic or a novel, so he uses those important flashbacks to connect them to the current events.
The script contains both strengths and weaknesses. Overall, the script would benefit from more development in the areas of the structure, some clarification, and character development.
While there’s a lot to like about this script, there’s also room for more development in the area of structure, pace, tension, and plot points that are worth discussing.
While one really likes the concept of this script, the script would benefit from further development. The major areas to revisit include the structure, pace, and tension.
While there’s a lot to like about this script, the script would benefit from more development. It can be a challenging script at times to follow. Thus, the areas to revisit are the structure, the pace, and the tension, as well as
The story’s organization plays an important role in the conflict in the form of flashbacks as well as the chronological order. The
You are right chronological order is hard to grab people attention. Furthermore, if all the important facts are including at the beginning, the story gets shorter. I did not know it could be shorter, thank to know it. However, I do not agree Martini Glass story shape is going to be better this story. I was very interested how Tomlinson`s writing. I like his opening the story such a singular focus on the firefighters. It shows more detail at that moment, and I could feel more realistic and dramatic.
Time travel has potential for good and evil, as shown in the movies ‘Groundhog Day’ and ‘Looper’. Groundhog Day is about Phil who is a selfish, rude person and is forced consciously in a repeating timeline. Looper is about an assassination criminal group.
2a. The manner of which the story is told is chronological. There is no flash backs presented in this film, but some other narrative devices such as foreshadowing and symbolism. At the beginning of the film, there is a scene where
The problem is that the structure overuses flashbacks. Flashbacks take the audience out of the main storyline. Sometimes there are flashbacks, back to back. Producers are not fond of flashbacks. In this script, there are two separate storylines that present with several flashbacks. This really needs to be reconsidered. Not only do the two storylines compete with each other, but also the flashbacks compete with each other, which result in neither storyline being developed to their full
My design problem for this script was that I wanted to adapt a short story that I had written into a film format. Another aspect of my design problem is taking such an impactful event that occurred over the span of many years and compacting the story properly. I previously wrote a short story about the brutal rape and murder of my cousin, Quenette Shehane. Although it is a terrible event, a lot of good came out of it through my great-aunt, Miriam Shehane, advocating for victims rights with her organization, Victims Against Crime and Leniency (V.O.C.A.L.). I am very passionate about this story, as it has changed my life even though I never had the chance to meet Quenette since she died in 1976. Thus, I wanted to challenge myself and put
Erik Bork, an Emmy and Golden Globe winning author for HBO, states that “Jumping around in time with flashbacks can be confusing in a script, and can make it hard for a reader to get oriented and settle into one particular story, in a specific time frame” (Bork, par. 1). He continues to explain, “It’s usually better to just have one, at most, and have the rest of the movie take place in what seems like continuous present time” (Bork, par. 9). Many critics would agree with Bork, siding with his belief in the confusing nature of flashbacks.
The story of the film may seems quite simple from the description, boy meets girl and fall in love, but beyond its simplicity in the story, some viewers may find the film a little bit confusing with the flashbacks. Especially
Source: CAPPELEN DAMM AS, Oslo 2008 – ''Access to English literature, VG3''. Anthony, Burgess, Mikkelsen & Sørhus. Chapter 1, page 23-24.
The script does a good job of establishing the goal for the parents. The structure works well. The opening establishes the ordinary life of Amelia and John Hart. It’s clear they are scientists or engineers. There’s a solid inciting event that immediately pulls the audience into the story with the disappearance of Danny.