My brother Dakota’s death is a challenge that I face every day. I watched mental illness slowly take each piece of my brother’s mind away until he was a body with a shattered soul. I watched as my mother sobbed after hearing that he attempted suicide, which he attempted two times to my knowledge, but I suspect it had happened more. Finally, I watched as my own father’s façade cracked under the pain of Dakota’s final attempt at suicide on the island of St. Croix. My family was pummeled with pain, grief, and sorrow for two whole years in the time leading to and surrounding my
“My ex-girlfriend was taken away by the cop and taken to the local jail. My ex-girlfriend’s Dad showed up and I rode back with him to their house. Finally my parents came and picked me up. I went home and maybe got two hours of sleep, if you even call that sleep. The next morning, I went back to my ex-girlfriend’s house and she was later released from jail that day. For the longest time, we would just sit there in silence, because, what do you say? It was time to comfort one another. I not only felt bad about the whole situation, but I knew no one was going to believe me, us. Believe that a girl purposively jumped into the moving vehicle. I later learned that the girl who died had been suicidal. Earlier that day, before the accident,
On Feb. 24, 2017, I lost Sean, and my wife,Sandra, in a car crash. It was a dark, rainy evening when the accident happened. Sandra had called to let me know that she had gotten off work early and said she could pick up our son, Sean, from soccer practice. I insisted on picking him up, but Sandra said it would be better if I were to stay with our sixteen month old daughter, Summer. After thirty minutes, I called them. Sandra answered the phone to tell me that she picked up Sean, but all of a sudden, I heard a crash, and then the call went silent. “Sandra?” I said quietly, and there was no reply. I yelled “Sandra?!” Yet, there was no reply, until I heard the siren of a fire truck. Suddenly, my entire world started collapsing.
As I pulled up to my friends house to drive her to school, it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, weather was nice and while we were sad this day due to the loss of a dear friend, we were both looking forward to things getting back on track with school. A few days prior, our friend, who always wanted to ride a motorcycle, took a ride with a boy she met. This would be her first and last ride. The motorcycle rear ended a stopped car, she was ejected and dragged under an oncoming vehicle to her death. As I picked up my friend for school, March 9, 1989 our dear friend would be laid to rest. We planned to attend her funeral that afternoon and a special event in her honor at our school. While making a left turn into our school parking lot, the plan for the day changed, as a blue sedan going full speed, slammed into the passenger side of my car. The reality of the situation; I turned left in front of an oncoming vehicle.
That moment seemed to last forever and it would always be burned in my memory, and I would never forgive myself for it. In that moment, I had slightly veered off my lane without noticing, then one second later there was a deafening succession of noises that hit me like a tidal wave. A mixture of crunching metal, glass tinkling as it shattered, and Harper screaming my name. The pain didn’t even register in my brain. I opened my eyes and my vision was hazy, but I panicked, screaming for Harper. My vision was fading, but I finally caught a glimpse of Harper’s face, covered in blood, before my whole world had gone black. I missed that girl more than anything. She made my job as a nurse feel more important, she had given me purpose and brought happiness into my life. Harper was also the reason I refused to drive anymore. As I thought about her my eyes swelled, and I knew that if I let one tear fall then it would be an unending stream. I had to be strong, that’s all she’d every encouraged for me. So I got off at my stop and remained staid as I opened the door to the hospital; the glint of a bracelet Harper had given me caught my eye as my arm
All emotions stopped when I saw my best friend’s bright blue, with her favorite quotes on the cover of the journal that was packed up in boxes after she had died, was now laying on my bedroom floor. My heart has never raced this much before in my life. I open to the first page in her journal and it reads ‘Nettie it’s really me, I’m in need of your help, please meet me at our place at nine O’clock tonight’. After reading that note, I started to think back through things that has happened that didn’t seem like anything at the moment, but now seem like they were possible signs or something that came from Jess.
I sat in the back right corner of my fourth grade classroom next to my best friend, Hannah. We dutifully took notes, answered questions, and tried not to get in trouble for talking. Hannah had been my closest confidante through elementary school crushes, a shoulder to cry on over A-minuses, the kindest listener when I complained about being stuck with underachievers in group projects, and when my vision got blurry, she became my eyes. There was never a question of legitimacy between us - why would I lie about needing help? So she whispered the words to me while I squinted at the whiteboard, trying to will the smudges into letters.
I really wanted to go and see my brother, but my parents wouldn't let me and that made me When my parents went to go see my brother and I wanted to go, but they wouldn't let me. I sat there and waited for my parents to get back in silence. When they got back they looked like they were about to cry and just me seeing them made me cry. We sat there for an hour in silence until a nurse came in and said we had to go to a different floor and so we headed upstairs and by that moment I knew what was going on, my brother wouldn't make it. When we got upstairs we went into this room that was bigger than the one we were in. We all sat there in silence for a long time and then someone came in and said that we can say our final goodbyes to my brother.Next thing I knew I seen a priest and I tried to stay in the room but I couldn't do it. When my brother was still alive, he was my hero and I wanted to be like him. Smart, caring ,and he helped others.That night really screwed my life, even to this
We got in my dad’s truck and headed to our house. I still remember this like the day was yesterday my dad turned to me and my brother and said “I hope you boys never have to experience anything like this ever again In your life’s.” We got back to our house and it was perfectly fine. A tree fell across the road which would become our tree house for weeks to come. There was no power what so ever so at night there was no air or lights. My dad pulled a mattress into the living room and me, mom, and my brother laid on it and my dad would sit up all night basically fanning us with a huge piece of card
The morning wind is as cold as ice, slicing passed my skin while I’m standing against it. It always like today of every year: cloudy, cold and sad. Like the sky is crying with me. I blend down to a tall, sleek, marble stone with the name “Amelia Bennett” written on it. That’s my mother’s name. She died when I was 7 year-old, it’s odd that I have the memories of her very clearly in my brain. Most children probably won’t. But I do, and I when I do, I missed her. I don’t even know what happened on that tragic day. I was blacked out and the next thing I remember is that she’s now laying deep underneath my feet. No one knows what happen, or no one wants to talk about it, not even my aunt. She’s the one that take me in after the accident. Why? Because
I heard a feminine voice call out to me as I blazed out the front door. "Good morning Amber! Oh, where are you--" I cut her off with a sharp slam. I couldn't look back. With each step towards my car, I inhale painful sobs of air. I feel as if I don't know who I am, as if I was that 18 year old girl hearing the news of his death for the first time. I couldn't think of the name that belongs to me, or any one else but my father. Any face my subconscious offers had the resonance of a total stranger, then was replaced with the haunting image of
I asked my mom “what’s wrong,” she replied with a sorrowful “your Aunt Lisa is in trouble, we must leave now.” The worst part of all of this was my Aunt Lisa’s son was with us, Matthew. He did not know what to think or believe. No one knew the world would slowly start shattering beneath all of us that morning. We drove to her house, we saw ambulances and police cars driving by, that did not help our nerves at all. We finally arrived at her apartment, we never thought all of those emergency vehicles would be going there. My brother and I stay in the car since I was only eight and he was only eleven. My mom and cousin run into the apartment hoping to only find my Aunt had fallen and is unconscious, or she is passed out drunk, just let it be something that is not permanent. What they come to find is that my Aunt is laying on the floor, unconscious, but cold as ice. It was not from someone killing her, or us getting there too late. She had died twenty-four minutes before that phone
“It’s going to be fine,” that's all I hear from the lady sitting next to me as I am crying and looking out the window as the house I was first brought home to grows smaller and smaller. I turned around and cried not knowing what was going on and why I was being taken from my home. The lady next to me began to comfort me and held me close while I cried. I didn’t know her or the other people that were with her and I was scared. I had no idea where we were going and I had no idea where my brothers or sister were. We drove for about half an hour and then we pulled into a big parking lot and stopped. We all got out and they led me into a large building that smelled like winterfresh air fresheners. The sound of crying and laughing filled the air while kids and
They swarmed around me. The tears felt like fire. I heard worried, faint murmurs. “she's not going to make it”, and they're reassuring my crying, helpless parents, “she's going to be alright”. Even though I was so young, I thought that this was it. The fear. The pain. The sorrow. The memories still haunt me to this day.
I remember the day just like it was yesterday, the pale color and coldness of her skin. The sky was clear blue, soft, with a touch of red, and the trees seemed stiff in their bright green shade. The wind was blowing with its humid dry air. And All I could do was stand silently in disbelief, caught up in my own thoughts and calm as I ever been. Wondering what I could have done differently to change the course of time, life had taken us upon. Since that very day a chunk of my heart was ripped away, and broken into pieces… “Oh how I miss her so much.”