Silent Screams: Cases of Domestic Violence in The United States

On 03/18/2017 at approximately 2132 hours, I was dispatched to 8340 Rd. 46 in the County of Montezuma, and State of Colorado for reports of a domestic disturbance.

Women and men with low-self-esteem tend to be afraid to start over or walk away from the things they have built with their abusive partner, so they attend to except a lot therefore they become victims of explosive conflict. Most women and men hold on to their partner in hopes that they will change therefore they have to walk around as they are walking on hot coals, in hopes that they won’t set the bad temper individual off. In this case a lot of physical and mental abuse takes place.

Before reading the first two parts of "Til Death Do Us Part" I knew that domestic violence was a growing issue in the United states, but it was a surprise to find out that the state that we live in for more than fifteen has been place in the top ten nationally in the rate of women murder by men (Pardue, Smith, Hawes, & Hauff, 2014). The first part gave the statics on how many victims were turned away in 2012-2013 from shelters around South Carolina which was a total of 380. The reason why this was done because there was no rom they said (Pardue et al., 2014). Since this information was taken there should have a increase in the number of shelters in South Carolina, but there is only 18 domestic violence shelters. There is about 36,000 incidents of domestic abuse in our state. That number is shocking, many people wouldn 't have thought that there were that many incident. The national statistics on domestic violence given by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence states:

This literary writing will attempt to examine the impact of domestic violence (DV) in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community (LGBT). Domestic violence is prominent in a homosexual relationship, if not more so than in a heterosexual relationship (White & Goldberg, 2006). Domestic violence is also associated with intimate partner violence (IPV) (Dunne, 2014). Statistically, domestic violence rates are higher than heterosexual domestic violence with IPV (Fox, 2010). Knowing that domestic violence brings about a plethora of disparities, it is solidified

Domestic violence is a single act or a pattern of cruel acts in any relationship that a partner uses to get or keep power and control over another partner. The violence can be sexual, physical, economic, emotional, or psychological actions or threats of actions that impacts another person. Any actions that manipulate, intimidate, isolate, humiliate, terrorize, frighten, threaten, coerce, hurt, blame, wound, or injure someone can be domestic violence (The United States Department of Justice).

Working thesis: Many victims of abuse continue a relationship with their abuser because they do not recognize the signs of abuse.

Domestic violence is the most overlooked, misunderstood offense. Anyone can go through it, but many can’t endure the pain it brings. According to (www.helpguide.org), people whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed. Most people wonder why doesn’t the victim leave the relationship, well it is not that easy. “The question, ‘Why does she stay?’ is code for some people for, it’s her fault for staying,’ as if domestic violence victims intentionally choose to fall in love with men intent upon destroying us” -Leslie Morgan Steiner (www.azquotes.com).

The ultimate goal of this research is to reframe the understanding of why women, and men, will stay in an abusive relationship, which can then lead to more effective means of breaking the cycle and helping those who are victimized get out of such relationships quicker and more effectively. When it can be understood why a victim of domestic abuse stays, it is possible to better prevent them from returning to such behaviors after they seek assistance and therapy. The underlying cause of the desire to stay is the missing link between existing literature and the ability to better combat intimate partner

Women constantly blame themselves, they have low-self esteem, which makes them even more vulnerable to their abuser. They try and please their abuser’s needs, hang on to the promises of change, and strongly believe that if they stay long enough, they will be able to save their situation.

The concept of domestic violence is a topic that is not easily defined. In the National Conference of State Legislature emphasizes that domestic violence is defined under the California code S3206 as: “domestic abuse means intentionally or recklessly to cause bodily injury; in reasonable apprehension of imminent serious bodily injury to that or another.” Victims of domestic violence can be anyone regardless of gender, age, race or economic background. Also, domestic violence does not only involve a couple who is married as it happens to cohabitants, partners who are dating and children. Experts as cited by Tina De Benedictis, Ph.D., Jaelline Jaffe, Ph. D and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. – understanding the cause of domestic violence may be difficult

In addition to all these reasons to why women stay in abusive relationships, is because women lose their self-esteem and eventually don’t have the energy to leave.

Every year in the United States, One in four women are victims of the domestic violence; however, this is only based on what has been reported to the department of justice (Stahly 2008). While men are also victims of domestic violence, women are more often the victims. Moreover, 90% of domestic violence is male initiated. In severe cases domestic violence ends with victims being murdered. More specifically, domestic violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in the United States in 2007, and 70% of those killed were females (CDC 2012). Many people think that victims have the option of leaving and many people blame victims for putting up with the abuse; what many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers, these reasons include, isolation, having children bounding them with the abuser and lack of financial support. "It 's never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when a prison gets shut down," says Dr. Steve Maraboli (qtd from web). Whether a victim stays or leaves their abuser, the outcomes of both situations are not always as easy as many people predict. In some situations, the outcomes of leaving may be very dangerous for both the victim and her children.

Many women caught up in abusive relationships have been prevented from obtaining education or employment. All income comes from their abuser. They lack job skills, education, transportation, daycare for children and healthcare benefits. Without these skills and resources, being alone without the abuser becomes a huge challenge for the victim. Many women find themselves having to choose between homelessness, living in impoverished neighborhoods or returning to the abuser.

In discussion about domestic abuse, there is always one prevailing question. Why do battered women stay with their abusive husbands? “If I were in that situation, I would simply move out.”, people think. However, leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as simply walking out in most cases. Because of difficulties battered women face such as victim blaming, the lack of space in shelters, emotional manipulation by their abusers, lack of financial support and many other reasons, many women stay with abusive men for years before seeking help, if they ever do.

On many accounts, the victim of a domestic violence relationship believes that they have done something to deserve the violence used against them, or they believe that they can help/change the abuser. The love that they hold for the person hurting them makes them want to stay and help them, even if it means risking their own safety.