Skills Project--Shyness Essay

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All my life I have been shy. Also, all my life I’ve been hearing people say, “She will grow out of it.” I’m 20 years old and the shyness is still here. As a kid you can get by being shy but as an adult, shyness can hold you back in many aspects of your life.


After two weeks of recording my behaviors I’ve come to realize in what situations my shyness comes into play most often. There are very few situations that I feel comfortable with myself, allowing me to speak freely. The only people that I ever feel at ease with are my own family and friends. Even my own family and friends can turn me silent in some situations.
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(Ch.2 – Communication and the Self, p.37)

One of my biggest weaknesses in communication with others is eye contact.
Eye contact is a nonverbal way of regulating verbal communication. Nonverbal regulators help control verbal interaction with others. (Ch. 5 – Nonverbal
Communication, p.119) In almost all situations I have a very hard time looking at people in the eye when I talk or they talk. In all of my two weeks of journaling other than my online situations I had trouble with eye contact.

Computer-mediated communication provides others with another way to react. (Ch.1 – Interpersonal Process, p.17) Internet has been proven to be an effective way for quiet communicators to make contact. Chat rooms, instant messaging, e-mail, and computer dating services all provide a low threat way to approach others and get acquainted. (Ch. 7 – Emotions, p. 177) The only time that I don’t feel a constant nervousness around new people is when I am online. When I was online I was able to get to know Michael and Adam better because I was able to express myself and self- disclose information about myself. Self-disclosing communication is information about yourself that is purposefully communicated to another person. (Ch. 9 – Intimacy and
Distance in Relationships, p. 240)

What I think that has
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