Sleeping with the Enemy

In class we learned that there are multiple theories that go along with violence against women. In this particular article there are three theories that can be helpful when it comes to answering the incidents that occur in the story. Regan Martin was abused by her ex-husband john Samolis for seven years.

The survivors essentially work better in these ‘crisis modes’ and it helps to mask the underlining issues of what they have suppressed. Most health issues that have been apparent in these situations have been sexual, eating, anxiety, and personality disorders, as well as issues with depression and suicidal behavior among just a few to name. (Kezelman, 2014) This article believes that you have to understand what happened and how it relates to the survivor in order for one to lead a normal life. If a survivor negates the abuse and the issues that they typically higher chance of having a mental issues and are more likely to commit crimes as juveniles and adults.

“In people with (OCD) obsessive- compulsive disorder, there is an excessive need for orderliness and attention to detail, perfectionism, as well as overly rigid ways of relating to others (Nevid and Rathus 293).” Martin is a very demanding individual and has an obsession to have everything in order. For examples, towels have to be evenly spaced with the same length on the towel rack and canned foods have to face label forward, as well as neatly stacked in the cabinet. Martin’s overall main crisis is his obsession with his wife, Laura, is he cannot live without her and he won’t let her live without him. He

Working with victims of domestic violence can be an extremely rewarding and fulfilling endeavor. One of the most crucial aspects for a paralegal working with victim of domestic violence is adequately engaging in the task of educating oneself to understand the commonalities of such victims and the ordeals that they have been through. Such clients are drastically different from other individuals who have suffered other physical and violent crimes. Understanding the background of someone who has lived through domestic violence is absolutely central to being able to provide adequate and sensitive legal care. Most victims of domestic violence are women (95%) though domestic violence can have an impact on ever age, class, race, ethnic, cultural or religious group (purplerainfoundation, 2012). "In the United States, nearly one in three adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood (American Psychological Association, Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family 1996 Report)" (purplerainfoundation, 2012). These women are often terrified of their partner's temper, apologize when they are abused and often in the most extremely controlling and isolated environment where the abusive partner will control who the partner sees and where the partner goes outside of the home, jealous of outside relationships (purplerainfoundation, 2012). In these abusive relationships the women are hit,

William, Rachel’s three year old son is crying standing over her as she is slowly regaining consciousness. Her boyfriend, Daniel, was gone; their bedroom door was left cracked open and Rachel was on the couch in their room. Pained around her neck from where he choked her, she tries to wrap her head around how she got to this point. Why does Daniel hate her? What did she do this time? Can she, should she, just leave with William? Rachel realizes she has to get out of the house before Daniel gets back. When she arrives at her mother’s house, her mom is alarmed. Rachel has bruises around her neck and marks around her hairline. Rachel’s mother tells her “You come here every week and you go back to that monster every week. I see these bruises but you must not feel they are a problem since you keep going back to him.” Rachel’s mom walks out of the room frustrated.

The film Sleeping with the Enemy is an example of intimate partner violence. Valenti provides many important information about this type of violence in her work Full Frontal Feminism. According to Valenti, women are more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence, but men can also be a victim as well. Valenti gave three signs of a potentially abusive partner, which include isolation, jealousy, and control. We can see in the film that Laura’s husband, Martin, definitely carry these characteristics. Martin and Laura live in a very isolated house house by the beach, which isolate Laura from the people. Martin became jealous with their neighbor because he thinks that Laura is flirting with him. Lastly, Martin controls whatever Laura does

As Alice was going through major hell during the rape and even after the rape, it seemed as it was not taken seriously by others. Alice describes her pain, fears, and many problems that came along the way when it came for fighting for herself and the after effect of the rape. Being a rape victim was not easy, and Alice showed many signals that she needed more than just comfort, but sadly many of them failed to provide that for her.

Laura Jackson spoke as a guest speaker at Texas A&M University-Commerce (where I am proud to be a student) on September 22nd to discuss the importance of healing from sexual, physical, mental, and psychological abuse. Her life story was horrific, but somehow she survived to tell about it. She addressed different topics such as raising awareness about domestic violence and the importance of a personal relationship with God. I was honored to hear her speak and acquired knowledge from her that I can apply to my life and my surroundings.

Women who are being abused and controlled by their partners are generally not allowed to engage in the kind of open dialogue that counseling promotes. In fact, a woman who does speak openly to a social worker in the presence of an abusive partner may, in reality, be in serious danger when she returns home. (Golden, 1994) The fear that is created through the abuse makes it difficult for the victim to admit they are being mistreated.

Even though Martin had a hard childhood, that his parents tried to protect him from. He still was born in a racial world. When Martin was 12 his grandmother died when he wasn’t there and jumped from a second story window attempting suicide. Because of Martin’s childhood it

     The woman in the story is a really caring and compassionate person. She chose to consider other people’s opinions and feelings, especially the feelings of all of her family members. She also chose to listen to everything her ex-husband was saying, even though

Domestic violence is a very important social problem that we must educate ourselves on because it has such a profound and negative effect on the individual(s) being abused. They are affected mentally, emotionally, physically, and I know from experience that the scars can run very deep. Being in an abusive relationship for three years was devastating to my self-image as a teenager, and because of these feelings of inadequacy, my decreasing esteem allowed me to stay in such a dangerous scenario. Healing from the negative effects of that relationship has been a difficult journey for me, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be for women abused for years on end. To this day, I struggle greatly with the ability to let go of my own "control"

Although Martin’s family faces dilemmas, the love in the family remains evident. Initially, the devotion that Martin shows towards his children illustrates his good nature. Martin views his children’s faces as “radiant as flower petals, equally loved” (103). Moreover illustrating his love for his children, Martin “kissed the tiny hand that lay palm-upward” (103). Furthermore, Martin’s hope to hold his family together exhibits his affection for his family. Martin constantly attempts to calm his wife in order to avoid displays of anger(101). “Please go upstairs,”(101) Martin begs of his wife so the children do not get upset seeing their mother frustrated. Lastly, the physical and emotional desire for Emily that Martin has, further shows how he cares for his family. Comforting his wife, Martin exhibits his love for her(104). Martin watched Emily as she slept and his “old anger vanished”(104).

Martin is searching for a solution to his problems that will keep all his loved ones safe. Martin Meadows is an ideal husband. He works hard in his office and his home. Martin is amazingly efficient, tending to the garden, decorating for Christmas, cooking for his children, and pulling their lose teeth. He longs for the days back in Alabama when his family was happy and alcohol was not a part of their lives. From the start of the story Martin is weary from the disappointment he has encountered in the changes seen in his wife.

The authors of this article found there were many treatments available for women who have been emotional abused by a spousal, but found that there wasn’t any, “clear empirical support for the efficacy” (Reed & Enright, 2006, p. 920). Many researchers have defined the abuse or established ways