So How The Fuck Did You End Up Here Again?

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“So… how the fuck did you end up here again?”

“Dunno”

*Sigh* “Look, I’m doing this for your own good. You’ve been bouncing between Hell and Heaven for weeks. Give me something to work with, please”

“I thought you guys knew. Because I really don’t”

“The boss won’t tell me, so all I have is the memo from Satan. ‘Trivializing evil to the extreme’ is a rather broad and incredibly short description - and it sounds pretty bad. Why, exactly, does he insist in not taking you in?”

“I told you, I don’t know. I consider myself quite the sinner, so I’m as puzzled as you”

A ray of light descended over Gabriel.

“...”

“What?”

“Did you know that I’m getting behind in my duties because of you?”

“Ya”

“Peter sneaked a peek at your records. Both he
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You are a threat to existence itself!”

“You could turn me into salt or something”

“No. Just no”

“Oh, come on, end me already”

“I CAN’T!”

“Why not? I killed myself and that guy in the pizzeria and that other dude whose name I don’t remember. And I almost killed eighty-six. Plus I also threw that old ladies off a bridge. That deserves smiting. Can you smite the dead? Huh. Extermination. Yeah, it deserves extermination”

“SOULS. ARE. IMMORTAL”

“Does that mean we are gonna keep doing this forever?”

“FUUUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

“I hate that guy too”

“YOU ARE THE FUCKING WORST!”

“Nah”

“SHUT! THE! FUCK! UUUUP!”

“Nana-nana nana-nana nana-nana nana-nana nana-nana nana BAAAATMAAAAN!”

“...”

“It pissed you off even more, didn’t it?”

“...”

“Hey”

“...”

“Heeeeeey”

“...”

“HEEEEEEY”

“The boss is coming”

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY”

“WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”

“You are pissed aren’t you?”

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY, MY CHILD?

“Eat toilet paper”

OH, FUCK YOU.

“No, fuck you”

DO YOU FIND THIS FUNNY?

“Yes”

ME-DAMN IT WHY DO YOU DO THIS?

“Because it’s funny”

YOU WILL ROT IN HELL FOR YOUR IMPERTINENCE!

“No I won’t. Satan is being an ass and doesn’t let me in”

FUCK

“I know right?”



“What do you do to kill time around here?”
THIS IS A PLACE OF SPIRITUAL ENLIGHTENMENT, JOY AND LOVE

“So how do you do that?”

BY BEING HERE

“So you just are for eternity?”

INDEED

“Fuck that”

FUCK YOU

“No, fuck you”



“Hey”

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