Some Of The Greatest Joys In A Person’S Life, As Well As

1143 WordsApr 25, 20175 Pages
Some of the greatest joys in a person’s life, as well as some of the greatest pains, come through relationships. Healthy relationships contribute significantly to happy, meaningful lives (Clinton & Sibcy, 2002, p. 12). Our ability to connect or bond with others often governs the quality of our relationships. People long for connection with other significant individuals in their lives. Even Adam, in the Garden of Eden, felt the ache of aloneness (Gen. 2:18-25). From the time we are born and continuing throughout adulthood, connections sustain us in life. These bonds produce joy in good times and provide comfort and support during trials and suffering. Poor bonds with others contribute to fear, mistrust, anxiety, emptiness, and a host of…show more content…
Insecure Attachment “Insecure” attachment styles disrupt an individual’s ability to connect with others. These attachment styles have been categorized into three classifications: avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized (Berger, 2014, p. pp. 190-194). My own relationships have been marred by my avoidant attachment style. An individual who relates in an insecure-avoidant manner will, as the name implies, tend to avoid close emotional connection or intimacy with others. Because significant individuals in their lives have hurt them, they mistrust others and withdraw emotionally in relationships. Generally viewing themselves positively and others negatively (Clinton & Sibcy, 2002, p. 24), they tend to be lonely, focusing their attention on success or other things to provide fulfillment, which usually leaves them feeling empty. Ambivalent individuals, on the other hand, desire closeness in relationships, but fear separation. Consequently, they may hold on too tightly to relationships, or they may form addictions rather than intimate relationships. Having a generally negative view of self and a positive view of others (Clinton & Sibcy, 2002, p. 24), they, as Berger (2014) described, “may be anxious, fearful, clingy or depressed” (p. 191). With a disorganized attachment style, individuals will feel numb and disconnected from themselves and others. Their behavioral characteristics will closely resemble that of the avoidant or ambivalent styles or a combination of both.

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