Are Your Words Holding You Back By Ellen Welty

Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others

Some Kind of Courage, is written for children between fifth and eighth grade in terms of

In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.

In the essay, “But What Do You Mean?” author and linguistic expert Deborah Tannen argues her feelings on how men and women vary in their use of conversational “rituals.” She states that males have a tendency to use wording to sustain dominance in conversation; however, women seem to take in to account the feelings of others. Tannen identifies seven categories in which men and women differ in communication. First, women use apologies to assure other people. Men can misapprehend these apologies as taking blame rather than as the ritual reassurance that women mean for it to be perceived. This supports what Tannen says in her essay, “But there are times when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t self-deprecating or even an apology” (Tannen 380). Second, men are more straight-forward when criticizing more than women; women “soften” their criticism with the purpose of sparing the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” ritualistically, most of the time to equate the two in the conversation. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Because of this difference, women are under the impression that they are usually condemned in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise open-heartedly when they are praised. Men, on the other hand, often confuse that not criticizing is praise enough. Sixth, women converse their complications in order to share their experiences; they complain not to solve their

Do you ever pay attention to women talking on radio shows or talking to each other while walking around the mall? Many people seem to get annoyed or frustrated by the way some women talk, and react negatively. Men and women frequently use words such as like, I guess, and so, but most people seem to recognize it more when women say it. Some say it’s because of the woman’s voice and how she states her opinion. In Ann Friedman’s article, “Can We Just, Like, Get Over the Way Women Talk?” she states that “It's about making yourself understood and trying to understand someone else.” Women often do several things while they are on radio shows but they most commonly state their opinion, and try to persuade people into understanding them. Women should

In the novel Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Melinda a young incoming freashman starts off high school depressed and avoided by her classmates and friends. Over the summer Melinda attends a party where she has no choice but to call the police, resulting in all her friends to dismiss and turn against her completely including her best friend Rachel. When Melinda begins high school detached from all of her classmates she tries to befriend Heather, a new student who is unaware of the party conflict. “...we kind of paired up at the beginging of the year when I was new and didnt know anyone and that was really sweet of you but I think its time for the both of us to admit that we...just...are...very...differnt” (105 Anderson) Heather soon realizes

The novel Speak by Laurie Hales Anderson shows Melinda Sordino struggling through the year, and her recovery from the painful memory of getting raped at the party in summer break. In the beginning of the story, the story shows how bad Melinda feels and then she changes and starts growing and at the final stage of the story Melinda becomes a strong hard oaktree-like person. In the book Speak, the author symbolizes the tree to show Melinda’s change from being an outcast to being an accepted person; this also supports the theme: time can help heal one’s painful memories.In the beginning of the year, her trees looked like trees that existed nowhere on earth, but by the end of the year, her trees were breathing and looked as if they had shot up

Laurie Halse Anderson’s fiction novel “Speak” relates the story of a girl from Syracuse, New York. This story surrounds Melinda Sordino who was victimized by Andy Evans at a high school party. She was afterwards labeled an outcast within her school after calling the police to the barn where they all were, getting many of her friends and classmates in trouble for underage drinking. Since none of Melinda’s friends were aware of the rape, they all believed she called the police just to bust them. In the second half of Melinda’s school year, Andy Evans confronts her and attempts to rape her again; however, this is when Melinda finally finds her voice and gets help before Andy Evans takes advantage of

In the book Speak Laurie Halse Anderson is saying that in our daily lives friends are great to have, but you can’t depend on them always being there for you. Such as when Laurie Halse Anderson wrote about Melinda and her new friend Heather. Heather was fun at first but then backed stabbed Melinda later. Laurie Anderson wrote about Melinda’s friends leaving her after Melinda called the cops at the party because she was raped. Her friends didn’t bother asking why she did, they just stopped talking to her. Laurie Halse Anderson wrote about Melinda hiding and not opening up to anyone. Now this was where I was saying that Laurie Anderson was writing about it’s good to have a friends around. If Melinda had just one friend to talk to she wouldn’t

The protagonist in the novel, Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson is high schooler Melinda Sordino. In the summer before her freshman year, Melinda is abused by an older student. This traumatizing experience turns her friends away from her and drives her into depression. Melinda enters high school at Merryweather High and struggles to find friends, perform well in classes, and even speak. She becomes the school’s freak. Melinda becomes an extremely powerful character as she muddles through depression for nearly a year before finding a way to cope with her mental illness.

In the novel Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Melinda, a high school freshman, is given the assignment of working with a tree as her object for the year in Mr. Freemans’s art class. She thinks,

attitudes that both male and female students have on speaking in class. Explaining that speaking

The article, “But What Do You Mean?”, explains in general how men and women act differently and how it has effects on each individual. The quote, “When both parties share blame, it’s a mutual face-saving device. But if one person, usually the woman, utters frequent apologies and the other doesn’t, she ends up looking as if she’s taking the blame for mishaps that aren’t her fault. When she’s only partially to blame, she looks entirely in the wrong. ” explains the one of the behaviours of women. Women usually apologises as a way of showing the friendliness between them but it 's seemed as a weakness among men. Women also take half the blame to show the mutual situation but the opposite gender tends to see it in a different. “When I 'm with men, wit it cleverness seems inappropriate (or) lost! so I don 't bother.” also verifies that the behaviours between women and men are different as well as the humours. Men use insults as a way to appreciate the other person while women take it as an aggressive way of presenting the idea. Because the way men and women act is different or the way they feel is different, it can get difficult to communicate between men and women. What we should do is to be

In Rebecca Solnit’s “Men Explain Things to Me” and Lesley Kinzel’s “Why You’ll Never Hear Me Use the Term ‘Mansplain’” they both focus on the common occurrence of men trying to explain things to women even if they do not fully understand what they are talking about. This is a topic that has become better known in recent years and the term “mansplaining” was created to describe this phenomenon. The authors agree on the problem, but go at it from different angles. While Solnit uses strong examples in her article to try to persuade the reader, Kinzel uses more effective rhetorical strategies and portrays a better understanding of what her intended audience, the male population, wants to hear.

Throughout this semester, my overarching communication goal is to challenge myself to express my thoughts more. I often find more enjoyment from listening to others’ opinions and then adding those opinions to my calculus of thought. I believe that I can learn to enjoy expressing my thoughts more by committing to three specific goals: Learn different styles of communication by simply reading every day and diversifying my literary choices, use the different written styles of communication by varying writers to shape a more effective message, and then practice paying closer attention to whomever I’m speaking to in order to ensure my audience is comfortable.