Summary Of Recovery From Infidelity

Chapter 21 discusses the Forgiveness and Reconciling Though Experiencing Empathy (FREE) model as a useful model for couple therapy (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). Forgiveness interventions creates a platform to resolve issues that are affecting the ability to maintain a stable relationship. Forgiveness is not an isolated event but a filtration of hurt and emotional pain which takes considerable time to work through (Strelan, 2010). It is very difficult to move past any type of pain. When couples find themselves in a place that the pain seems to not go away then it may be time for interventions such as Forgiveness interventions to support the couple’s effort in relieving the relationship of the hurt and allow it to heal and for them move forward.

One of the largest reasons that couples in the US get divorced is because one member of the couple commits infidelity with an outside member. Infidelity includes being unfaithful to your spouse or leaving your spouse to be with another more desired partner (Amato & Previti, 2003). When it comes to infidelity, more often than not one spouse will cite the other as having been the offender than themselves (Austin Institute, 2014). Reports from the Austin Institute

Larry Watson suggests that traumatic experiences transform children into adults, and that disturbing experiences lead to changes of mind, growth in morals, and an emerging sense of adulthood.

The recovery model is very import to the field of marriage and family therapy in many different ways. Recovery allows for the client to change, and see unlimited possibility. This model is seen through the lens of values, seeking to help the client to live a rich and meaningful life. Recovery is strength based, and allows for the client to build from their personal skills set, and doesn’t blame a single person for the distress of the family. This allows for the client to gain a sense of self and self-worth, see their own values, and be able to create support within the family as well as their community.

As many as one in three females have experienced sexual abuse by the age of 18 (Russell, 1986). Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) experience negative psychological symptoms (Browne & Finkelhor, 1986; Kendall-Tackett, Williams, L. M., & Finkelhor, 1993). These women may later in life engage in relationships. The negative impact of sexual abuse could result in challenges faced by the relationship due to shame and difficulty with trust (Kochka & Carolan, 2002; MacIntosh & Johnson, 2008). CSA may also result in sexual challenges for the couple (Kochka & Carolan, 2002). Research has found that couples therapy can be of significance to the healing of the CSA survivor as well as functioning and growth in the relationship (Kochka &

The cycle of abuse starts when an individual is abused and then the perpetrator feels regret. The guilt leads the perpetrator to ask for forgiveness and engages in positive behavior towards the victim. The victim does not leave the abuse because he/she “perceives few options and feels anxious terminating the relationship with the abusive partner, feels hopes for the relationship at the contriteness of the abuser and does not call the police or file charges.” In addition, after the victim forgives the perpetrator the couples experiences a honeymoon stage. During the honeymoon, stage the victim is optimistic about the relationship’s nonabusive future. After the honeymoon

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders describes posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as an acute stress disorder (2013). Individuals that experience this disorder are exposed to or have had an experience of near death or bodily harm (American Psychiatric Association. 2013). Evidence based therapy that has shown positive outcomes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which is based on changing behavior. The use of client-centered therapy can also be beneficial with this type of client if applied in addition to CBT. Joseph stated that a client-centered approach to PTSD could result in Post-traumatic growth (2004). Post-traumatic growth does not try to bring the client back to the original state before the trauma but bring the client beyond their previous level of functioning (Joseph, 2004). When a person experiences a trauma, they can have a myriad of emotions, it is the therapist responsibility to help the client make better sense of the issue and continue functioning in a normal manner. Not all traumas are alike and not all clients can be treated equally. The most significant aspect of treatment in helping this type of client is the approach the therapist takes which should include the temperament of the client and the goals the client seeks. Included here is an examination of a fictitious client that has experienced a trauma and the therapist care plan. The therapist

Examples of the types of positive changes that can occur as post traumatic growth are: spiritual development, openness to new possibilities, greater appreciation for life, enriched interpersonal relationships, enhanced coping skills, higher self-esteem, and increased independence (Moran et al., 2013). Post traumatic growth can be used as an ongoing coping mechanism to deal with trauma and life stressors (Moran et al., 2013). It also leads to stronger positive perception of self, healthier coping, less PTSD symptoms, and a clearer sense of direction (Moran et al., 2013).

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

A PAPER SUBMITTED TO DR. JAMES D. GIBSON FULFILLMENT OF REQUIREMENTS FOR CO 5740 INTRODUCTION TO MARRIAGE AND FAMILY COUNSELING

For this study, 38 adult men and 67 adult women (105 total participants and a mean age of 40.4 years) in a community were used. They reported being in their last relationship for more than 13.5 years, as well as being separated from their marriage for 3.8 months before entering this research study. For the first lab visit, the participants were asked to recall an image of their previous significant other for 30 seconds and were then asked to speak openly and fluidly of their experience in the separation into a recorder for four minutes. Judges then coded the files and rated the participants on the Self-Compassion Scale Short Form. The participants then did a follow-up after 3 months, and again at either 6 or 9 months. This design was chosen to test the

The article discusses how not choosing to forgive can hinder people from fully recovering. Brief therapy says that it is natural and okay for a person to feel anger toward an abuser but instead of teaching the benefits of forgiveness and letting go of the resentment, brief therapy does not allow the opportunity for reflection and understanding of what happened and why it may have happened. It does not allow the opportunity to find meaning in the suffering of the abuse, and when we can’t find meaning in something we can’t accept it and move on. Brief therapy causes people to dwell more on their anger, making it almost impossible to improve the negative outcomes of the abuse.

The authors acknowledge various concerns of need of further study (see Reed & Enright, 2006, for discussion). Two concerns that stand out are the small sample and the limited ethnic diversity. Not addressed by the authors was the lack of research regarding males who experience, as recipients, spousal emotional abuse. There could be very different implications for males. It would be of interest whether forgiveness therapy would be as effective for males. In addition, even with follow-ups completed, it would be beneficial to have additional follow-ups at 5 and 10 years. This would allow more evidence of efficacy.

Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. In evaluating the topic of ‘what psychological disorders do men vs. women deal with while going through infidelity,’ it is made distinctly clear that infidelity affect the two genders starkly different. It has been found through research that women widely understood in society to be more emotional, suffer from ‘anxiety and depression illnesses’ while men mainly suffer ‘anti-social disorders and disorders’ resulting from substance abuse.

The article, “The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress for Women after Spousal Emotional Abuse”, by Gayle L. Reed and Robert D. Enright, is a research study about the effects of forgiveness therapy. The study compared forgiveness therapy with alternative treatments, such as anger validation, assertiveness, and interpersonal skills, to provide an efficient treatment for emotional abused women.