Tailgate Story

Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lasting scars. (Help guide.org). The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and break the cycle—rather than perpetuating it. There is a myth that only bad people abuse their children. (Help guide.org) But the fact is while it 's easy to say that only "bad people" abuse their children, it 's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse

In fact, this statistic is that one in ten children will be sexually abused before the age of 18 ("Child Sexual Abuse”). I remember always thinking that this was just a sad statistic, but I never wanted to admit to myself that I was a part of that ten percent. When I was a child, I was sexually abused by a person in my family. This abuse lasted until I was about six years old. The abuse would not happen often but I can vividly remember it happening. As a child, I had no clue what was going on. I did not know that what was being done to me was wrong. Because I was abused by a family member, it put me in a very odd situation. I was young and did not want to get myself in trouble by speaking out, and I also did not want to get that family member in trouble. I was so afraid to say anything and I just remember being so confused by the whole situation. Not only was I confused, but I was also terribly embarrassed by the whole situation. When my parents found out about the abuses, they put an immediate stop to it. I have no clue how they found out about what was going on but I am so glad that they found out. As a six year old boy, I do not think I would have had the courage to tell them what was happening. I am an 18 year old boy now and I still do not talk about this incident. This is my biggest secret and my biggest embarrassment. I know I should not be ashamed or embarrassed by

As children, we get our cues from our parents or people who surround us every day in our lives. Either at home, school, church or even our neighbors. It’s hard to articulate the emotional withdrawals a child that has been neglected or abused may be feeling. It is not surprising that most adults who have dealt with some type of maltreatment are not able to open up to others for help. Also, they may have

hurt, allowed the cycle to continue. In hopes of escaping the violence I married and

Many of my patients have been abused as children; sexually, physically and mentally. I had one patient who was physically abused as a child by his step father. He would beat him into submission every day while his mother would watch. As a teenager he started karate and became a third degree black belt to protect himself. He became a drug dealer, known to be a violent man. He was jumped on the street and crushed the skull of the man who attacked him. He was awaiting his trial while in my program. I carried his story with me for days and I questioned my ability to work in this field. I kept questioning how something like this could happen. Where were his teachers? How could no one know what was happening to this young child? What would I do if it were to happen to my children? It kept me up at night and I had a constant feeling of dread in my stomach. I eventually talked to my supervisor and just talking it through helped me to feel better.

When I was six years old my first step-father sexually abused me for a couple of years. When I heard that he was only going to receive two years for what he had done to me, I was very upset. Even at a very young age, I realized that the judicial system had failed me. Then, when I was sixteen years old that

I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused. I was emotionally abused by my step-mother. My father physically abused me after marrying my step-mother and my step-brother sexually abused me.

Martial abuse takes a lot out of a person. After four years of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, there just wasn’t much left of me as a person. All the good that did remain was covered over by deep ugly scars. It cuts a person deep when their abuser is the one who has promised to love, honor and respect them. Those wounds go beyond the superficial. Those scars take more than a Band-Aid to heal. Covering them up and putting them out of sight only made the damage even more complex. Those years had cause so much damage that leaving my abuser wasn’t even the beginning of my healing.

I was bullied throughout middle school and it ate me alive. My life revolved around thoughts of how I was not good enough for today's "society". I became shy, anxious, and clinically depressed. I felt like a burden to my family. I took a leap of faith and applied to become a volunteer at the Virginia Beach SPCA, it changed my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to work with these animals, whether how dirty or simple the job. Caring for these animals gave me a reason to realize that my life did matter and that I would no longer allow myself to be treated like it did not. I discovered that I was not shy like I usually am while in the shelter, I was confident; I was in my ideal environment and thriving for the first time in years. My increase

"I think the biggest thing that helped me was the support of my friends and family," Cyntrise says. "After leaving a very physically and mentally abusive relationship, I had no where to go, but back home. My parents took me back with open arms and supported me through those very rough years. "

My personal philosophy of life and my philosophy of counseling has been deeply affected by my life experiences as a young child and also as an adult. I am fortunate that my life has been a good life and I consider myself to be fortunate to have to have good parents and many loving family members. I do not recall having any events in my childhood that I would consider to be abusive or neglectful on the part of my family, and for that I consider myself to be lucky. I know several people who were abused as a child and it seems to have impacted them in many aspects of their lives even into adulthood.

Remember that people may be scared to tell you they have been abused. This might be because:

After becoming more familiar with maltreatment and the effect it can cause on children, it is depressing to think about all of the children who have suffered or are suffering from abuse. As a society we are so sheltered from the idea of child abuse. People often ignore the fact that child abuse is happening every day. Children who suffer from child abuse that live with long-term effects are picked on and simply judged because they are different than what our society sees as a perfect person. It is not fare to children to be victims of child abuse. They are too young to physically fight back. It is sickening to know that there are people out there that physically abuse their children or family.

I looked at my dog and made eye contact with his large brown eyes. Time seemed to slow down as I read his eyes like an open book. I still remember the look today, while I was laying on the couch next to him. It was the most terrifying sight I’ve ever seen. My dog, my best friend, and the only thing to trust me with everything calmly could show that he had accepted death. For me though he was still could wagging his tail for us. The night I saw this was October 22nd at 8:02 PM. This dog changed my entire perspective on life. He was a dog that could instantly make a room bloom as a flower would, but with joy. He loved life and those around him and that caused us to love him so much.

Think about your childhood, coming home from school, going to practice, and then eating dinner with your family, and your parents coming tucking you into bed and kissing you to bed. The sad truth is that not everyone gets to have that ideal childhood according to the American Society for Positive Care for Children there were 7.2 million reported child abuse cases last year. Tiffany Sharples wrote in Time Magazine last year 9 out of 10 child abuse cases go unreported.  Abuse does not only affect children physically but it's also detrimental impact on the child's mental health causing long lasting mental health problems.