Teen Dating Boundaries

Romantic relationships today are crippling as we know it. Unfortunately, unhealthy relationships are becoming the new norm. In fact, nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (Relationship). Moreover, researchers estimate roughly 40%-50% of marriages will end in divorce (How). Relationships never used to be this way. Dating can be tracked to just prior to the 20th century with courtship between a man and a woman, whereas family members, typically the female’s, would supervise a date. Courtship would be practiced until marriage, and divorces were nearly unheard of. Courtship evolved into dating during the early 1900s, in which there was an increase of the number

On Thursday night I went to the “Shatter the Silence, Stop the Violence” seminar by the Sexual Assault and Violence Education (SAVE) Committee. During the seminar I learned about several parts of dating and domestic violence, as well as healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships. I was familiar with many of these topics, but hadn’t gone so far in depth with them before.

Next comes the phase of violence, which is characterized by hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, the use of objects or weapons, verbal threats or abuse, and sexual abuse. The final phase that sets the individuals up for the cycle to continue is the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is noted by calm and apologetic demeanor. The individuals tend to go through denial about the abusive behavior, come up with excuses, and make promises about future behavior. While it is important to know how professionals define dating violence, it is also pivotal that those in the helping professions also have an understanding of how the teens themselves view the violence that occurs in their relationships. According to one study teens define abuse according to the context, intent, and actual harm caused (O’Keefe, 2005). In another study teens actually reported that in situations where revenge, retaliation, or prevention of face loss was the reason for the abusive behavior, the violence was justified (Sears, Byers, Whelan, & Saint-Pierre, 2006, p 1197). In the same study individuals reported that they also took into consideration whether the act was a result of their partner “just kidding” or a demonstration of their caring for their partner. Not only do definitions of interpersonal violence vary across the board, but they also vary significantly between males and females. Males and females have very different views as to what the purpose of

Research shows that some teens define abuse according to the intention and actual harm that is caused, in the same research individuals have reported that they take into consideration whether the act was a result of their partner joking around or a demonstration of their love. Various researches provide a range of percentage of teenagers involved in abusive relationships anywhere from 9- 57%, other surveys for example Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey say 9.4% of high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriends or girlfriends in the 12 months prior to the survey. And the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey say about 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 7 men who ever experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age. It’s believed by many people that dating violence happens to teens around their sophomore year, however recent research has shown that violent behavior typically begins between the ages of 12 and 18, and about 72% of eighth and ninth graders are dating. It is important to know that the severity of intimate partner violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse is established during adolescence, and that early violence in these relationships can affect

In an article “Teen Dating Guidelines”, written by Jessica Childs, on November 6, 2014, she claims that parents should enforce rules on dating for their children. In which I agree with her statement, parents should put rules on their children to ensure their happiness and safety. Even though I agree with parents enforcing rules on their children’s dating, they shouldn’t be so strict though. Not only would setting rules for your children benefit them to prevent from bad situations, but it also teaches them how to listen and understand your thoughts.

Now in school instructors would take three options, abstinence-only, comprehensive, or no sex education program at all. There is two other places that talk about some type of sex, church and home. The church says that you should wait to have sex for marriage, that is if you believe in God. When your at home it’s up to your parents, planned parenthood says that it’s best to start talking with their children about sex when they are in their early childhood. I do not think that it is the church’s place to say weather you can have sex or not. [Jesus] said, "It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." (NRSV, Mark

Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behaviours by one partner in the relationship. Abuse is usually not a one time occurance, abusers normally abuse their partner several times to the point where they cannot take it anymore. According to break the cycle ages sixteen to twenty four are at the highest risk for dating abuse. There are four types of abusers, the reactors, the entitled, neurologically or physically ill, and the ones who are overwhelmed by events. These are all very different types of abusers in a relationship and they vary depending on the individual. Firstly the reactors feel in control of each situation, they participate in the cycle of violence through the act of violence. Secondly the entitled, an entitled person believes

I claimed my education for listening pretty well. One thing I did well was while we were learning about how to use correct MLA citations for our Teenage Dating Research Paper, I actively listened well and stayed on track and made sure I understood everything fully. I jotted down notes while listening to Mrs. Sit, and wrote down  everything she wrote on the whiteboard. Also, instead of getting distracted and doing some other thing I am not supposed to do, I put away all possible distractions and focused on only the MLA citation lesson.  I usually have a hard time staying focused and listening in class  but for English this year, I improved in that area a lot and I was able to perform better in the class than I thought. Also, one other thing I did pretty good on was listening well to my peers when having class discussions, and to be more specific, the discussions we had before we had a quiz for Romeo and Juliet or during fishbowls for Part Time Indian.

“It must be remembered that God has instructed us that the gift of sex has been given man in order to "help Him produce children" (Gen. 1: 28), express mutual love, receive the benefits of close companionship, and for mutual enjoyment. (Gen. 2: 18-24).” (Counseling Couples Contemplating Divorce)

Healthy relationships and sexuality: safe and healthy sexual relationships, personal boundaries, asking and confirming consent, and identifying threatening patterns and relationships.

Awareness of these indicators should be useful to teens trying to avoid dating violence (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006) (Page 285). When adolescents begin dating, usually at 15 years old, they are excited and do not realize the dangers of dating violence, if they have never been exposed to it as a child. In the beginning they are having a wonderful time until he / she strikes for the first time. At first they will tell you how sorry they are and it will never happen again, they will ask you to just please forgive them, and the other usually will. But the question should be known that he/she is not even aware why they hit or humiliated you, or even why they have so much rage and anger that at times could even scare the individual doing the abuse. Many dating partners do not realize that the abuse will not stop until it is acknowledged and help is given or the worst can happen, beaten so badly that one is left for dead. Some of the abusers have heard that as long as they control their partner they are considered to be “macho”, (tough in Spanish), so they see the abuse as that and nothing

Becoming a parent is quite the daunting task and requires a lot of time, patience, and resources. The teen years are known to be one of the hardest periods for both the child and their parents, but with care and supervision from a family, both parties can get through that period with eas. The question still remains, should parents set rules on teenage dating? Having parents supervising the relationship would make the whole endeavor both pleasing and insightful. Having parental supervision would also avoid many of the arguments that can ensue a teenage relationship.

Recent literature suggests there is little known about dating violence among youth. (Bennett and Banyard, 2014; Edwards, Gidyez, and Sylaska, 2013; Halpern, Tucker, Bengtson, Kupper, McLean, and Martin, 2013). Additionally, the Center for Disease Control (2015) revealed that the cycle of abuse begins at a young age, suggesting most of college age students that experience dating abuse had their first experience between the ages of 11-17. (Taken from Tranell Steward initial discussion wk 3).

Sex is the sacred sigh of the covenant with God, when a couple has sex they are sealing the covenant with God. Breaking this sign of the covenant is one of the most harmful sins that we as a people can expose ourselves to. In order for us to enter into heaven God says "But among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people.1" Breaking the sign of the covenant with God is breaking God's law and going against everything God wants for us. God doesn't ask much from us considering all that he has given us, he asks us only to follow his laws, in Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey what I command.1" Premarital sex goes against God's command and ruins our relationship with him.

Intimacy in Relationships. The degree of physical contact that is acceptable varies considerably. Hugs and kisses are the standard, even in the business office, in some countries. By contrast, the act of touching a person is