Temptations: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor

People believe that marriage is easy and is the key to love and happiness, but in reality marriage is harder than it looks. Everyone marries for different reasons, for good or for bad. People today don’t understand the meaning of marriage; it is more than just money and appearance. Seeing today’s world of marriage is being influenced by media shows like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and Murray makes you realize how society today identifies marriage different. Couples who live unmarried will be happier and have more choices than those that are married in agreement with Catherine Newman’s essay called I Do. Not.: Why I Won’t Marry in the book “Acting Out Culture: Reading and Writing “, by: James S. Miller. Catherine Newman is a writer and an author

As a result, Cisneros points out that many women feel that marriage does not always live up to their high expectations fostered by media images of "happily ever after."

I am so thankful for the amazing gift of grace that God as gifted us. Grace, as defined by McMinn is, “merciful kindness offered by God to those who do not and cannot ever deserve God’s kindness, and it is our only hope.” Grace is such an interesting concept. The idea that we have already been forgiven for our sins before we even commit a sin is not widely accepted by most people nowadays. When people sin, they feel a sense

In Caitlin Flanagan’s Is There Hope for the American Marriage, she establishes the foundation for what the American Marriage means in today’s world by arguing that marriages are likely to collapse over time. With this being said, Flanagan goes on to depict the fragility of marriage during times of adversity, and how susceptible the couples can be when searching for alternative bonds from people other than their own partner, even if it means making moral sacrifices. Through a series of anecdotes from sources like herself to politicians, she further expands on this idea that the ideal marriage is nothing but a hoax for the likelihood of publicity. Flanagan includes sources from sociologists, such as Andrew J. Cherlin and Maria Kefalas, both whom

Modern, contemporary society’s mindset on marriage has shifted considerably over the years. Some research has noted the increase in early sexual experiences, greater acceptance of cohabitation and the increase in narcissistic tendencies, are complicating and muddying the ideals of what marriage means to people today. Research done on this subject resulted in several studies that found that spouses who did not believe that marriage would last forever, were less likely to commit to the relationship financially and were more likely to have extramarital affairs.

In “For better, for worse: Marriage means something different now,” Stephanie Coontz reveals the worldwide changes in people’s attitudes and behaviors towards marriage. According to Coontz, education and the social norms are the reasons why marriage has become nonessential. Being single and going through a divorce are more acceptable now. The motivations of marriage have turned from economic dependence into personal willingness. In fact, Coontz’s words make me wonder the true meaning of marriage. Even though the meaning has changed over times, I believed that I still hope to get married.

Steve Titensor is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he is my father-in-law, and I found our interview insightful into the mental health field. Even though he knows I am going into social work and we casually talk about his profession and experience, we’ve never discussed many of the questions from this assignment. Currently he is employed at First Step House, an organization that helps individuals struggling with substance abuse and mental health disorders as the Fatherhood Program Manager. He works with men who have children and are working on goals to regain custody. Previously, he worked for Salt Lake County Youth Services and as a Chaplain at Hill Air Force Base for over 25 years. He’s also been employed as a therapist at LDS Family Services and private practice in his home for over 20 years. He has a vast amount of experience, and it is obvious that he enjoys and is passionate about his profession.

The Winchester family, John (44), Mary (43), Dean (17), and Sam (15), have come to therapy to seek help for various issues. John and Mary are on the verge of divorce; Dean is skipping school, fighting, and shoplifting, and Sam has withdrawn completely from the family. The family was ordered to attend therapy after the Military Police (MPs) responded to a call from neighbors after an especially loud verbal altercation between John and Dean, in which John threatened to physically harm Dean if he did not leave the premises. John was order to move into the barracks and Mary is threatening to file for divorce.

The American Counseling Association (ACA) is the most sizeable worldwide association for counseling professionals ("American Counseling Association.", n.d.). The American Counseling Association (ACA) is a nonprofit organization ("American Counseling Association.", n.d.). The American Counseling Association (ACA) is based out of Alexandria, VA ("American Counseling Association.", n.d.). It was founded in 1952, by the convergence of four different associations in Los Angeles, Ca ("American Counseling Association.", n.d.).

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending

Over the past decades, how Americans perceive the marital relationship greatly reformed, illuminating society’s values. In the past, marriage use to represent a legal contract to bear children and acquire finances, but today, “In all too many communities in the US, especially poor and minority ones, marriage is a retreat” (Wilcox et al., 2005, p. 5). Rather than observing marriage as an obligation, Americans now perceive a marriage to entail intimate commitments between affectionate partners. America transformed its values from the society and family to the individual level. Of the major values changes, which occurred over the past decades, this article exemplifies an increase in single-parent homes, cohabiting, and divorce. Due to America’s expansion of individualism and materialism, individuals no longer perceive their marriage as life long commitments. This transformation occurred because of a shift in societal values; society no longer places stigma on divorce and single parents, which aided in the increasing numbers of marital shifts. In fact, Americans tend to enter marriages with unrealistic expectations, expecting their partner to fulfill all of their needs without conflict. It stands as our unrealistic expectations and perceptions that caused a shift in marriages.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Chapter two starts off with the author talk about his education of true christian counseling before settling on one called the discipleship approach (Collins, 23). Readers explore some people-helper principals; starting with “the helper.” This principal starts out citing Paul’s letter to the church in Galatia in which Paul instructed the leaders there to “restore” the individuals who were apparently struggling with sin and other issues (23). Paul instructs that only those who are spiritual may help the struggling individuals so that the struggling individuals may get the real help they need by means of healthy, loving caring relationships. In principal two, we learn how to help people that can be difficult to penetrate

When it comes to marriage, we expect the fairy tale story that we grew up watching on tv and reading in books; stories such as Cinderella, Snow White, or Aladdin. We’re convinced that marriage will solve our problems. We have the false conception that marriage will bring us the perfect white picket fence, 2.4 kids and a nice dog; that our husband/wife will be ideal, and that we’ll live happily ever after. In the story The Sorrowful Woman by Gail Godwin; modern marriage is portrayed as the perfect fairytale that went horribly wrong. Godwin’s protagonist “The wife and mother” can be described as selfish and self-centered due to her unwillingness to conform to the fairytale that she finds herself resenting.