That Beauty Is Better Than Brains

1160 WordsJun 22, 20115 Pages
I must say, before I begin, what a terrific pleasure it is to be here in a room filled with so many beautiful people. Today we're going to witness a battle to the death between brainwaves and bimbos; boffins and belladonnas; Buttroses and rosy butts. Is there anything... is there anything to actually argue about today. I think this debate is finished before it even begins. Even a monkey can tell you that beauty is better. However, it comes down to a simple matter of choice. If you were given a choice, which would you choose: a brain the size of a pea and the body of Elle McPherson, or a brain the size of a planet and the body of a bush pig. Of course, we're all going to choose Elle McPherson's body. I can see some wowsers from…show more content…
Better! (Flirtatious voice again) J - Jean. Please. Please. Alright. That's it. Stop the clock. Stop the clock Campbell. Stop it. Jean please. Please. It's really hard if you're just going to sit there making eyes at me all the time. I can feel them. Every lash is a lash (makes whipping noise). Every one knows that Jean Kitson must be perhaps the most beautiful woman in this whole Nation. (Jean pulls something out of her bag) Jean. Is it mace? Everyone knows how beautiful Jean is. It doesn't take much effort for her to stay so. (Jean pulls out some dental floss) Get the ones at the back. And I've been standing here and Jean has been constantly undressing me with her eye-teeth. I can read your filthy mind, Jean. I know what's going on in your mind. I don't even like gerbils, so forget it. I'm an officer and a gentleman. (soft voice) Little flirt. Grrr. Now, Charles Darwin, the father of evolutionary science stated the primary incentive for reproduction is physical well being and attractiveness. Intelligence in no way figures in the mating of any creature on Earth - Charles Darwin. And there's proof. The peacock has its tail, the reindeer has its antlers, the baboon has Alexander Downer's face on its butt. (kisses fingers as he speaks) Moi moi moimoimoimoi. (fills his cheeks with air, imitating the baboon) What a way to look at the world! IQ just doesn't come into breeding. 'Oh sure', you might say, 'What about pigs, pigs are ugly.' But are pigs
Open Document