The American Dream Essay Intro

Satisfactory Essays
The best aspects from my essay were the intro and the use integrating quotes in the essay. I believe that the intro was one of the best part because it followed the parts of a inverted pyramid and that it grabs the reader and makes them want to read more. In the essay when it states “Everyone has one dream or goal in life and there are certain characteristics one must possess to achieve that dream, but things might get in the way of being able to achieve that dream”, it makes people think how is the american dream not achievable and what are the characteristics needed to try to achieve the dream. This makes the reader want to continues to read. The use of intergrading quotes was another thing that stood out in my essay. In examples such as, “At Rene’s school his class is sharing what they want to be when they are older and Rene shares with the class that he would like to be an astronaut or an actor or a magician. His teacher responds to what he said…show more content…
When I said “Although these pieces of evidence show that the American dream is achievable with perseverance they are misleading because the American dream is not always achievable as proven in the previous paragraphs”, I was trying to make this my although claim and I felt as if I could have made this a more prominent part of my essay to create a strong opposing paragraph. In my conclusion i feel like i could have created a stronger closer by tying all the pieces of evidence and saying something about how all of the show why the american dream in not guaranteed. Instead I simply said “The characteristics needed to achieve the American Dream such as ambition, opportunism and perseverance may help one achieve their dream, but it does not guarantee that they will achieve their dream” I still think this is a pretty strong statement but it could have been
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