The And Its Effects On Human History And Their Planet

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Sidebottom was as bored as any decapitated head could be after being left attached to the console of a small boring ship, inside a boring hanger bay, belonging to a huge boring exploration vessel. At first he attempted to ignore the boredom. Then, he tried to pretend it wasn’t there, only to conclude that ‘trying to pretend it wasn’t there’ was the same as trying to ignore it in the first place. So, he decided to pretend everyone owned wonderful personalities and could be trusted at the drop of a spanner. However, this didn’t work. Instead, it made him depressed to the point of becoming outright suicidal. He was in his third hour of utter tedium when the brain wave struck him. “The Proctors records!” He barked, as if someone could hear him. Although he hated the Proctor, studying his records would, at least, give his mind something to dwell on and he needed a good laugh. He brought up the details of human history and their planet. The words in the electronic menu appeared in his mind as if chiselled out by a robotic laser. On top stood the heading, “The Complete Comprehensive Chronicle of the planet Earth.” Below, sat the warning, “Not for the screamish.” He ignored it. However, after meeting the humans and obtaining a quick preview of a Hippo, a Dog and a Kangaroo, he had to admit it did have its merit. Below the statement stood three more headings. The first, “Earth:- A comprehensive, unbelievable study of its creation.” The second, “Animals:-

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