The Armrest Monologue

In the distance, I heard someone scream, “he’s falling, he’s falling” and those were the last words I ever heard. Oh sorry I forgot to tell you how I ended up falling to my death on my 21st birthday. For you to fully understand what was going on I must take you back one month earlier to a lonely park bench in Toronto.

When a kid threw up from the fumes I knew it was time to leave. I didn’t believe that Sammy was dead, for one, I just got her, For two I still see her.

Following you might have been the biggest blunder I’ve ever made, the worst mistake being that I trusted you blindly. I walked down the roads of the suburbs, took the metro to the city of New York and went along the sidewalks of the Bronx. In you went, into the shadiest place one could possibly think of. I went in, hoping for the best to happen, but I didn’t know it was going to be the polar opposite of what I thought.

I love the way your eyes alight, how you think the end is in sight. I love the way you fall to the ground, how you lose all hope when I turn you around. Deeper, deeper, deeper we go, far within and further below. Every step you take through every room just brings you ever closer to your impending doom.

With the loud shouts and heavy footsteps, it was pretty much confirmed. Here comes Armina. She burst into the bunk room and ran towards me. As she came closer, I could see her stormy eyes swirling with an oncoming tempest. This only promised some form of mischief would soon unfold. You could almost see it brewing in her mind just behind those gunmetal eyes.

Pain spread throughout my whole body as the impact of the fall left me quite disoriented. Fumbling my way through the forest, I looked for a place to hide. After a minute, I managed to conceal myself into the shrubbery surrounding a tall willow tree. Motionless yet alert, I listened to all the sounds around

I don’t answer because I’m remembering the girl with the yellow hair. How she’d reached out for me, and how she’d slipped away. How resigned to our loss we had been, how quiet the end, how final.

If i should last to see the night When all my thoughts are old - I hope the string that holds them tight Is safe, secure, and bold I do not want

I hit the ground, and somehow I knew I wasn’t going to get back up. I had gone too far. I was just trying to help, but I wasn’t helping. I had finally realized everybody must go through hard times I wish I had known that before. I looked up at my brother, everything was fuzzy, but I could see him looking down at me with worry in his eyes. I reached up to grab his shoulder to comfort him, but everything went black.

"Never let go of me, hold tight, it 's gonna get hard to breathe, and I will never let you drown, even if we 're going down, hey y 'all, never let go of me, when I 'm sinking," I sang in the recording mic, waiting patiently when Travis McCoy raps, singing at my part, hopefully hitting the right the cords. "Never let go of me, hold tight, it 's gonna get hard to breathe, and I will never let you drown, even if we 're going down, hey y 'all, never let go of me, when I 'm sinking! Oh oh oh ohh! Oh oh oh ohh!"

Its time. This moment, dominated by the bed supporting my whole world. Gathered here, for the last time, the last time we all feel complete. Why? If there really is a God, why would he inflict such pain? She’s alright, she’s smiling, she’s… she’s ill,

I just kept pushing forward thinking of the song “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey, “don’t stop believin’, hold onto that feelin’, streetlights, people.” Determined to win with only three blocks left to go, the bike began to shake uncontrollably and the world seemed to pause for just a moment. My life doomed as I front flip through the chilly air. Uncontrollably the momentum launched the bike into a second flip, I let go of the bike and it bounced over me. Landing, my body and face skid across the harsh, rocky asphalt. In deep pain I thought of the lyrics, “this is the end, my only friend” from the song “The End” by The Doors.

The days before were a blur. Grief filled the air around us. The one room everyone wanted to be in, sitting next to her, supporting her, waiting for her last breath.

She might have lost everything but in it’s wake something new was gained she still might be hurt but this was the first step to recovery

It’s two o 'clock I try to get up but there is no strength. I fall and try again and again until finally i 'm up on my feet. It’s three o 'clock, out the door he goes, i begin to clean up the blood and act like nothing had happened. Just like I did every time I was hit. This wasn’t the first time this happened and it wouldn’t be the last. All I could think was how I would find a way to get out.