The Asian Tiger Mom Story

As a first-generation Asian-American college student and the first in my family to move onto higher education, my chances of academic success were improbable.

As immigrants, parents put much more emphasis on children’s study issues and thus children with immigrant parents are typically imbued with a strong sense of family obligation and ethnic pride, and with the importance of education which may help these children getting better grades. (Shields & Behrman, 2004)

My parents Immigrated from Poland to the United States in search for better opportunity for the children that they planned to have. When my parents finally made the move, they started with nothing and no one to turn to; they did not even know how to speak English. All my parents knew for sure was that they were going to raise three children in America and do all they could possibly do to motivate and make them passionate for school. My parents have always wanted their children to achieve the careers of their dreams and be able to support their own family as well as be happy with their lives. My parents have struggled with money their entire lives, which is another reason why they did all they could to get to America and motivate their children for schooling. They did not want their children to struggle with money the way that they did. But this led another issue, affording college. My parents did not have enough money for their children to attend college. Because of this, I have done my best in school to earn outstanding grades and do my best to earn scholarships.

Education, or the lack thereof, has always been something that plagued my immediate family. I come from a background of immigrant parents—hard-working, yet unable to acquire academic achievements. My father did not graduate out of high school in Vietnam because he was drafted into the Vietnam War and escaped as a refugee thereafter. My mother, on the other hand, graduated from high school but was not able to pursue higher education due to the burdens she had working and raising me as a child.

Asians are one of fastest growing minority groups in America today. During this century, various factors at home and abroad have caused people from Asia to immigrate to the United States for better or for worse. Due to these factors, Americans and American teachers, in particular, need to educate themselves and become aware of the Asian American students’ needs in terms of success and happiness. Before beginning my research, I felt I had an easy subject: studying Asian Americans in relation to their education in public schools. How simple! Everyone knows they are smart, hard working, driven to succeed in spite of their nerdish, geeky, non-athletic, broken-English stereotype. Of course they are

In “Adapted from Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” author Amy Chua argues that, instead of constantly praising a child for the slightest success, parents should only expect perfection from their children and nothing less. She explains that Western parents are not as strict on their children as Chinese parents are. That Western parents don’t believe in stressing educational success and that education should be something fun. In contrast, Chinese parents believe that academic success is very important and to get good at something it takes practice and hard work which may not seem fun at first but in the long run the activity becomes fun once mastered. Chua also believes that Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents cannot such as calling their child garbage after being misbehaved. Chua states three main differences between Western parents and Chinese parents.

The schools I went to before third grade had a strong Asian population. Asians were the majority; there were rarely any non-Asians in those schools. During that time, I was allowed to stay innocent and uncaring of what others thought of me. It was a pity those golden days couldn’t last longer. The school I transferred to for the remainder of my elementary education had an extremely low Asian rate. In fact, you could have listed all the Asians in the school with only one hand. With little to none Eastern Asians, my parents pushed me to work harder. Unbeknownst to them, they were trying to mold me into the stereotypical smart Asian. The changes were subtle at first since they

However, the incessant hovering and excessive involvement from Asian parents can add tremendous pressure and stress onto young Asians. In the Daily Collegian News, Penn State sophomore Trevor Hsu expresses, “It puts pressure on Asian [students] themselves to fit that stereotype…they can feel that they let themselves [and their families] down because they have not achieved the level of excellence that the stereotype has set.” (qtd. in Dailey). Because they feel guilty and shameful, many Asian students are reluctant to admit to their parents and teachers that they have difficulties with class works and assignments as much as their non-Asian classmates and consequently, they do not received the support they need to improve their performance.

“In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that ‘stressing academic success is not good for children’ or that ‘parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.’ By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be ‘the best’ students, that ‘academic achievement reflects successful parenting,’ and that if children did not excel at school then there was ‘a problem’ and parents ‘were not doing their job.’ … Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are

Being a first generation college student is a heavy load to carry due to the constant reminder of having to be a good role model for my siblings. Children of immigrants are often highly expected to excel in their academics and to be involved in extracurricular activities. His/her parent immigrated to the “Land of The Free” in order to receive a better life and to give their children a place to call home. They work from one to two jobs a week just so that we can dig through the pantry, and raid the refrigerator. We sometimes take our parents for granted unknowingly, and constantly fill our heads with a question that we all seem to ask. “How do I please my parents?”, “What do I have to do to make them happy?”. As students we should all be voicing “College!”. Yes, maybe our folks’s dreams have faded away, however that should be our motivation to aim higher; to achieve our American Dream. Throughout our years of education, our very own relatives and teachers have emphasized on the importance of receiving a higher education. I have come to realize that I should not be asking myself “How do I please my parents?”. Instead, “How do I please myself?”, “What will my lifetime goals be?”, “Will it leave my parents hard work in vain?”. Obtaining a higher education will not impact their lives, but will affect yours drastically. My American Dream has always been to become an immigration lawyer that deals with international relations or to become a professor teaching my true passion for

Asian immigrants raised their children on the values of filial piety. Filial piety is based on Confucianism ideology which is one showing respect to one’s parent. American-born children are raised with two values which are Confucianism and the American values. The American values allow an individual to make their decisions either in their career, marriage, or lifestyle. Unlike, the American values, Confucianism decisions are decided by the parents, which have created tension in both generations. The immigrant parents stress the importance of a proper education to their children because the parents did not have the opportunity for education. Education was a privilege meaning only the families that had money could send their children to school. The parents began working at a young age to support their family and maintaining the household was more important than education. The immigrant parents are motivated by the “American Dream” instead of a financial benefit, the better the education and the employment, the more opportunities that would be offered. A person without a proper education would not succeed in life compared to the ones that have an education.

The Asian group has strong standards regarding academic success. The United States Census Bureau reported that the percentage of Asian Americans to possess a bachelor’s degree or higher increased by 54% which shows a significant increase within the past 20 years (United States Census Bureau, 2016). Throughout much of Asia, children are taught at an early age to believe that education is the only path to success. While they are a distinct minority, their indicators of success in terms of education and future income occur because of the unique style of parenting which is based on the belief of the philosopher Confucius. Within their culture, they are taught to work on self-perfection which will help them achieve self-improvement in qualities such as diligence, determination, and concentration (Seal, 2010). Parents, family members, and their community assume the responsibility for teaching and disciplining children. Furthermore, they instill the belief that a child’s achievement or lack thereof is a direct reflection on the efforts of the entire family and community (Chen & Uttal, 1988). These types of demands coupled with academic

Western parents allow their children to to accept that fact that they got a bad grade on some assignment, while Chinese parents make their children correct whatever they did wrong. Chinese parents order their children to get exceptional grades, while Western parents can only ask their children to do well. Chua says, “If a child came home with an A- on test, a Western parent will most likely praise the child, but the Chinese mother will gasp in horror and ask what went wrong”(Chua 307). Chinese parents believe their children are capable of doing anything as long as they work hard at achieving it. Western parents can only help their children do well in school by trying to prepare them, and not pushing too hard. Chinese parents think that their children owe them everything and not the other way around. This is most likely because Chinese parents work very hard at raising capable children, and that they have worked hard to make them productive in life. Therefore, the parents expect much in return. Chua says “my husband Jed actually has

On January 27, an article was published, “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” by the Wall Street Journal. It brought attention and promotes extreme controversy. Chua sparked debates over the differences in parenting styles of American and Chinese heritages. “Chinese Mothers” used in a broad statement and “Western Mothers” used for every other party. Americans began to raise questions. Chua’s article referring to herself as a Tiger mother stands to have both negative comments and some positive.

The poem ‘Aunt Jennifer’s Tigers’ by Adrienne Rich was written in 1951 while she was struggling to establish herself as a female poet in a male-dominated artistic sphere. The poem focuses on Aunt Jennifer’s role as a wife in the patriarchy of mid-twentieth century society, and how she, like many women, had little of her own. Their lives were defined by the marriage, and as few women had their own income most were completely dependent on their husbands. The poem focuses on the physical lack of power Aunt Jennifer has over her own body and her choices, which is juxtaposed with her ownership of her mind and personality.