The Building Blocks Of A Lasting Love

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The Building Blocks of a Lasting Love
Romantic love is a very mysterious and profound emotion, in which many people can not sustain. There are three main components of a lasting romance: passion, commitment and lust. “A strong dose of all three components [of love] typifies, for many of us, an ideal relationship” (Triangular Theory of Love). If an appropriate balance is maintained a relationship can reach nirvana, referred to as consummate love. Intimacy creates a deep emotional bond due to a hormone in the human brain known as oxytocin, after this bond is created passion deepens and commitment is soon to follow. Romantic love would not exist without the presence of intimacy; the hormone arousal that goes along with sex leads to the
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“Intense emotional sensations etch first experiences deeply into memory, creating what psychologists call "flashbulb memories."” (Dixit, Jay). Amir Levine talked about the perplexing chemical in his article,”The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love.” He went on to say,
“Oxytocin, a hormone and neuropeptide ... plays a major role in attachment processes and serves several purposes: It causes women to go into labor, strengthens attachment, and ... [increases] trust and cooperation. We get a boost of oxytocin in our brain during orgasm and even when we cuddle ”
This hormone is the main reason for passionate love with some help from the reward chemical dopamine. Lasting love appears after the passion awakened by oxytocin from intimacy arises; through time the attachment gets stronger and bonds deepen creating commitment for two people.
Relationships go through many changes throughout their course, which causes an imbalance in passion, commitment and intimacy. According to Sternberg’s theory of love these three factors create the ideal love referred to as consummate love. Although a lasting relationship can be a consummate love, which is the love seen most in long lasting marriages, contains intimacy and commitment, yet the marriage is lacking passion. Passion is simply defined as infatuation; in a relationship that has lasted a long period of time infatuation is not a necessity.
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