In our book groups we discussed two essays “The Connection Between Strangers” by Miles Goodwin and the essay “The People Who Love You When No One Else Would” by Cecile Gilmer. In my group we said that “no matter how big or small your act of kindness is, it could change someones life” was demonstrated in both essays. In the first essay, “The Connection Between Strangers”, shows this because this little girl walked up to this solider and congratulated him. Little did she know, that the small action had changed the soldier’s life, as he said in the essay, “That girl undoubtedly has no memory of what happened years ago… It doesn't matter why she gave me the magazine. The important thing is she did” (Goodwin 83).
In the novel Bystander, Eric, the main character, learns how to choose the right friends and even though he get’s betrayed he doesn’t back down-he keeps trying desperately to make bonds and friends with the “right” friends .
Usually, people know how to help; and sometimes there are individuals who understand how to quickly help hurt shoulders or sprains. Some folks can even make recommendations on how to approach the next week with an injury. I may have observed the bystander effect more in other countries that my family visited when I was younger. Since I have never lived for long periods of time in cities I feel that I have less experience with the bystander effect. However, Milgram's view that we may be managing the information that could flood our minds makes sense.
We set out flyers in our high school in October which got us a lot of donations for Thanksgiving.We donated those items to the homeless shelter at the city over. However, when we ended our last drive in the second semester, I found myself driving to the homeless shelter with the donations in my car yet again, but then I spotted a homeless woman sitting a curb with only a sign. At that moment, I decided to that instead of simply giving these away to a random shelter, I will give to those in my own community. I pulled over and took out a couple of cans from the trunk, I hand it to her and she was so happy. Though this wouldn’t be the safest option, it the felt the helpful one. I gave out my donations to homeless people in my community for almost a month till the donations ran
I believe a situation in which I probably joined the innocent bystander effect was when I was in middle school in one of my classes. We were tasked with an assignment, more specifically a group project. Quite frankly, back then I wasn’t very good at socializing or doing groups projects, therefore I would basically do my part of assignment by myself as if I wasn’t even assigned to a group. In addition, one of the kids that was in my group inquired me about a part he was not comprehending very well, and I somewhat “muted” my empathy towards her. I think this was mostly because kids used to do that to me, they would sometimes even pretend like they didn’t even hear me. I think that if I would have behaved in a more altruistic way towards her,
I saw a man on a black empty bucket that had been turned upside down. He was sitting quietly holding a sign that read “homeless- anything will help”. My thoughts suddenly calmed and my clammy hands began to dry. I looked him in the eyes and could see the pain and loneliness that I was going to try to take away for a moment. I walked right up and asked “Sir would you like a free lunch?” his face looked confused as he just looked at me and asked “Is it really free?” I assured him that it was no cost and I wanted to give this to him for nothing in exchange. His dark skinned face lit up and the 4 teeth he had glistened as he smiled and said “God bless you thank you.” He immediately ravaged the bag and began to eat the ham sandwich with Cheetos in a small bag on the side. I felt a sense of shame knowing that he had to question if he deserved this meal. My stomach tightened and my feet hit the ground a little harder with each step as I thought about the difference I can make by showing these people they are deserving of everything I am. I am not any better just because of where I live or the friends I have. The adrenaline pulsating through my body propelled me to walk to every person I saw sitting on a bench or in a box- not making any assumptions of why they were there because all I could think about was bringing a smile to their
buying coffee at Starbucks don’t need my help, they are doing just fine. Part of the challenge for this assignment was figuring out exactly what I wanted to do and who I wanted to help.. I considered helping one of my roommates, but again decided against it because there’s too many people that need a helping hand. I wanted to help someone that really needed help, like a homeless person or someone in an emergency. I finally decided on a homeless man that sleeps outside of a Mexican Restaurant next to my house. Everyday I walk past him lying on the grass next to his cardboard sign and I take no action. At first I wanted to give him 20$, but I’m old enough to know that he won’t spend that money wisely, so I decided on buying him a large
When I did these things for this man it was obvious that he was thankful for my help and he even came back and asked for help a second time which shows that he was grateful, otherwise he would have just asked someone else to grab something from the top shelf for him. I think in this “culture of cool” it is so easy to ignore older people who are asking for help or be rude to them, but to put aside your image and just help them is very kind. It was especially difficult to put aside my image while I was with my roommate. Had this happened while I was by myself I don’t even think I would consider it as a random act of kindness, but because I had to look a certain way in front of one of my friends it was harder to just do the nice thing. This assignment was strange for me because I have learned from 9 years of Catholic school that if you do something nice only with the intentions of bragging about it, it is not selfless. The most selfless and kind things you can do are to do something nice for someone else with the sole intention of doing it because the other person needs help. I like to think of myself as a kind person, but I have noticed that when it comes to people that I don’t know who are saying things to me, it can be really hard to respond with kindness. Growing up in San Francisco there are a lot of homeless people who say things to
As I was listening to music on my iPod touch, I heard a kid on the bus say he saw a guy holding up a “feed us” sign. I turned my head and noticed a man, probably around 40 years old who had a family of 3 kids and a wife with them on the side. They were wearing tattered clothes that they probably had for years and they were extremely dirty from sleeping outside every night. We still had extra burritos in the car and my friend Lola asked Nick, the other counselor if we could give them to the poor family. We immediately pulled over and introduced ourselves to the family. I stood in the back alone because I had never seen a homeless person before and I thought they were one of those people who offered you candy or tricked you into getting into your car and then you’d disappear
Almost everyday I encountered the same situation on the train. A homeless person would enter a cart full of people and ask for help, whatever it was money, food or an extra train pass but the majority of people would turn a blind eye. I hated being in this situation, I hated how it made me feel and I hated that people including myself didn’t do anything. I didn’t like the feeling of ignoring another human being in need. I decided that even though I couldn’t control other people’s actions I could control my own.
The social psychological phenomenon addressed in the Daily Mail Article ‘How ‘selfie syndrome’ has taken indifference to a different level’ is the Bystander effect. The Bystander effect as characterized by Hogg and Vaughan refers to the likelihood that people are less likely to help in an emergency situation when they are with others versus when they are alone. They also deduced that as the number of people present increases the less likely it is that anyone present will help (Hogg & Vaughan, 2014). The concept of the bystander effect was first established by John Darley and Bibb Latané in the 1960’s after the murder of Kitty Genovese. The purpose of their study was to establish how bystanders react in an emergency situation. Before investigating
The next time the homeless guy was spotted. i decided to just bring him food. I asked him why he refused the money that was offered to him.He then told that he doesn't need any help he chose to live that life style. Thats when I gave him the food and told him that I understood. Really i didn't understand why he wanted to live
From previous studies it has been concluded that group size plays a factor whether people respond to a situation. What about time, at a certain point can one be certain bystanders are not going to help? Many studies have time limits to indicate if a participant helped or not. Results show that after a few minutes the likelihood of getting helped from a bystander is high. Between 90% and 95% of those who respond to a situation do so in half of the time allotted to them (Darley
Outside of my salon there was a man asking for money for food and drink. I typically do not give homeless money due to the fact that you never really know where the money will end up. However, right beside my hair salon there is a coffee shop called Honey Bun. I went inside and bought the man a water and a sandwich. When I gave the man the food and drink, he was completely astounded. He was extremely thankful for the fact that I had went and purchased these items for him. For me it was a great feeling to do this, I am very fortunate with all the blessing I have and it is my right to give back to the people who are not as fortunate as me. I was extremely happy that I was able to make the mans day and put a smile on his face by performing this act. You never know why these people are on the streets, there are multitudes of reasons, so it is terrible to assume why they are there. The man was so thankful when I gave him the water and the sandwich, he was not going to even let me give them to him as he said it was to much. After I set them down beside him, he thanked me many more times and had a huge smile on his face. Out of all three acts this was the most rewarding for
I live in Lake Elsinore, California and have noticed a large number of homeless walking and begging on the streets. While it is easy to look away when whole families of homeless are on the side of street with signs asking for money, I have instead looked for churches that specialize in helping the homeless. By talking with individuals at local churches who have helped the homeless I have learned that giving food, instead of money, is the best approach. By giving food, instead of money, the help I am giving will probably go to feeding their family instead of their addictions. So one year ago I started showing up at a local park every Saturday, brining orange juice and milk, alongside a local church, who gives food, to feed not only homeless adults but also children. They thank me but in reality they give me an internal sense of gratitude for what I have and self-esteem that I never had before. I especially enjoy feeding the children of low income families, their smiles as they receive their food make me feel that this world can indeed be a safe and loving home.